Upon a Knife's Point
by Kristen Elizabeth
Summary: The children are growing up...are they leaving their parents behind? (Story 6 of 6)
1. Kiss and tell

Disclaimer: Most of the characters do not belong to me. A few of 'em do, but if you don't like them...um...they're not mine. Kidding, I take responsibility for the children  
  
Author's Notes: Well. I did. I wrote a sixth part of the Family Saga. This is only the first of three parts, but I'm exploring some new territory. I hope you all will embrace it as you did the first five stories in the series. (They are, in order, "In a Family Way", "Ashes in the Valley", "Baby Mine", "What Once Was Lost", and "In the Living Years".)  
  
I also wanted to apologize for never getting back to a few people who left such amazing reviews on the last story, "In the Living Years", reviews that actually made me cry. It's unforgivable that I never contacted you, to thank you. So, to Caro-chan, Becky, Saz, Stella and everyone else who read and reviewed, I say "thank you" with my whole heart.  
  
I had originally intended to put this sixth part out on the one year anniversary of the posting of the first part, "In a Family Way", which would be January 15th, but I'll be swamped with work then, so I have to post it early;) Enjoy!!  
  
Dedication: To all the people who take the time to read my stuff. You don't have to include me in your life, but you do and I am grateful for it.  
  
****  
  
Upon a Knife's Point  
by Kristen Elizabeth  
  
****  
  
"'Mani...it's me."   
  
"Tori! I had just about given up on you!"  
  
"Sorry...my da was playing Communicator Nazi. He's paranoid that I'm calling a boy or something." Victoria Yuy rolled her eyes with all the exasperation of a seventeen year old about to turn eighteen.   
  
Her best friend, Amani Na'ilah Barton smiled. "I think both of my dads are hoping that I've forgotten what boys are."   
  
"Speaking of boys...."  
  
"Oh, no. I think I know what you're going to say, Tori."  
  
Victoria adopted her best look of innocence, effective only when dealing with her father. "What? What am I going to say?"  
  
"If you're going to tell me that your brother is going to be at the party, I am so not interested," Amani replied, firmly.   
  
"You're a horrible liar, 'Mani. I know for a fact that you have a picture of Benji in a very prominent place on your dresser." Victoria was smug. "So don't go pulling this 'so not interested' stuff with me."   
  
Amani crossed her arms over her angora sweater. "That picture happens to have you in it, too. Not to mention Celeste and Lin and Adam and Eve and Jade and..."  
  
"Yeah, in the background."  
  
Her blond friend blushed prettily. "It is a good picture of him."  
  
"Finally!! You will admit to having a crush on my brother! This is a momentous occasion."  
  
"I don't see why you're getting so excited, Tori. Yes, I like your brother. But it's not like he has any feelings for me. Maybe at one time he thought I might be fun to fool around with, but once he realized I'm not another Eve Maxwell, he pretty much said to hell with me."  
  
Victoria hid a grin behind her hand. "Eve and Benji were over before they even started."  
  
"Exactly. And he and I will never get off the ground. Because let's face it, Tori. Much as I like Ben and think he's probably a good guy deep down, he's hardly the serious type. At least when it comes to girls." Amani took a breath. "And I'm not looking for a fling with him."   
  
"I know what you mean," Victoria admitted. "He's only gotten worse since he went to college. Daddy practically threatened to cut him off if he didn't pull up his grades last semester. That really got his attention. Academically, anyways."   
  
Amani leaned forward on the desk and propped her chin up with one hand. "But he's still Ben. He'll always be Ben. He'll always be looking for the quickest thing to come along."  
  
"And you're not quick."  
  
"I'm not Eve."  
  
"Ouch," Victoria snickered. "I'm definitely not getting caught in a room with the two of you next weekend."   
  
"Please...I'm not out for her blood." Amani's heart-shaped mouth curled up in a mischevious smile. "It's enough to sit back and watch her try to change Lin's sexual preference by whipping her damned braid back and forth in his face."  
  
Victoria held out a hand. "Hey! Celeste and I are still mourning over Lin and Adam, so I have to let that one slide."   
  
"There is way too much diplomat in you, Tori."   
  
"The pacifism gene rears its complacent head." Victoria studied her pretty friend on her communicator screen. "Are you going to be okay with seeing Ben at the party?"  
  
Amani lifted her slender shoulders. "Why not? It won't be any different than any other time, right?"  
  
"Well....sort of. I mean, it's *our* party. Everyone is gathering because of us and the fact that we graced the planet eighteen years ago." Victoria winked. "Plus, if I know you with your dad's credit card, you've got the dress to end all dresses."   
  
"Maybe..." Amani drawled, mysteriously.   
  
"Use it! Flaunt everything you've got, but make sure he knows you don't come cheap. Sometimes my brother needs a swift kick in his ass before he gets a clue. Trust me...he'd rather you do the kicking than our father."   
  
"Even if I did somehow manage to do that, my father would never let me date Ben. Or any guy for that matter."   
  
Victoria frowned. "Which dad? Mr. Quatre or Mr. Trowa?"  
  
"You know which one...the only other blond in this house. And where the blond goes, the brunette follows. I don't stand a chance with the two of them allied. You know, I've never thought it was odd to have two fathers. But to have one who won't let me date until I get to college...."   
  
"I wish I could say I knew where you were coming from. My dad would probably let me date...but I'd have to warn any guy who asked me out that he might be taking his life into his own hands by doing so." Victoria shook her head. "It's so much easier to be a guy in this family. But listen, in a week, you'll be eighteen. Fully capable according to inter-spatial law to make your own decisions. If you want to date my brother and he wants to date you...go for it."   
  
Amani rolled her eyes. "We'll see." She smiled softly. "I miss you, Tori."   
  
"I miss you, too. But I'll see you in..." Victoria counted to herself. "Five days."   
  
"Five days," Amani repeated. "Bye."  
  
"Sayonara!"  
  
Amani stared at the blank communicator screen long after her best friend's face had disappeared from it. Often, it seemed as though Victoria could see right through her. She certainly understood her better than anyone else in the galaxy, even if she did claim that her wisdom came from being nearly a week older than Amani.   
  
Heaving a small sigh, Amani got up and went to her dresser. Try as hard as she did, she was unable to stop herself from looking at the framed picture sitting on top of her jewelry box. Taken the previous summer while Ben was home from college, the picture was the only one in existence, to Amani's knowledge, of her and the oldest Yuy offspring. It had been a rare moment where Ben had put his arm around her and asked his mother to take the picture. Amani still had no idea why he had done it; he hadn't tried to cop a feel, as he usually did during pictures.   
  
With determination, she picked the framed picture up and stuffed it under a pile of underwear in her top drawer. Exactly where Ben would want his picture to be. Amani had barely closed the drawer again before there was a knock on her bedroom door.   
  
"Come in," she called out.   
  
One of her fathers, Quatre Winner, stepped into the room. "Did I hear the communicator awhile ago?"  
  
Amani nodded. "It was Victoria. We were just talking about the party."   
  
Quatre smiled at his adopted daughter. "I know you've been missing her. It's been too long since we've seen everyone."   
  
"Daddy?" Amani sat on the edge of her four-poster bed. "I'm going to be eighteen next week..."  
  
"Yes." Quatre's eyes were strangely sad. "You are."   
  
"And eighteen is a big milestone. I'm almost done with high school and I think I've grown up a lot in the past four years." Amani paused. "Do you think I could maybe....think about accepting some of the dates I get asked out on? Maybe?"  
  
There was a moment of silence before Quatre sat beside her on the bed. "Amani...we've all talked about this before. Dating isn't something you should do just because you can or because everyone else is. A certain maturity level needs to be reached before...."  
  
"You don't think I'm mature, Daddy?"  
  
"I didn't say that. I just don't..."  
  
"Trust me," Amani supplied. "You don't trust me to be responsible about my own life, do you? You think I'm going to make all the wrong choices if given the opportunity." Her lower lip wobbled. "Like my mother."   
  
Quatre's tranquil eyes sparked. "Amani Na'ilah," he began in a warning tone. "Your mother was a good person."  
  
"But she made a mistake."  
  
Her father's hand on her shoulder was warm. Comforting. "You were not a mistake, Amani," he said softly.   
  
Tears wet her hazel eyes. "I'm sorry, Daddy. I just don't understand."  
  
"And until you're a parent, you won't." Quatre cupped her cheek. "Trowa and I don't put restrictions on you because we think you'll mess up. We do it because *we're* afraid of messing up. Can you see that?"  
  
Amani nodded before resting her forehead on Quatre's shoulder. "I can see that. And appreciate it." She frowned. "But do I have to like it?"  
  
"Of course not." Her other father, Trowa Barton, spoke up from the open doorway. He walked into his daughter's bedroom and sat on her other side. "But you've made it this far, baby. What's another few months?"  
  
Smiling, Amani lightly jabbed her father in the ribs with her elbow. "Another few months of dictatorship?"  
  
"I prefer to think of it as absolute control," Trowa retorted.   
  
Quatre reached around their daughter to poke his lover, teasingly. "Will you stop it? I almost had the kid placated."   
  
Amani laughed and stood up, turning around to face the only family she had ever known. The perfect family, in her opinion. "Fine, fine. I won't date. I'll become a dried up old spinster who lives with her parents and forty bodyguards...I mean, cats, until the day she dies."  
  
Trowa looked at Quatre. "When she puts it like that...."  
  
"Manipulation will get you nowhere, Amani." Quatre stood up and dropped a kiss onto his daughter's forehead. "Go to bed. You've got school in the morning."   
  
Rising onto her toes, she kissed each father's cheek in turn as they left the room. "Night," she called out after them.  
  
The hallway of the Winner mansion was quiet as the two men walked back to their room...until one of them broke the silence. "You know who she wants to date, don't you?"  
  
Quatre frowned. "I don't want to hear you say 'Benjamin Yuy'."  
  
"I don't have to. You said it for me." Trowa opened the door to the master bedroom, letting Quatre go in first. "Can I ask why you're so opposed to the boy?"  
  
"It's not so much Ben himself," Quatre replied. Trowa raised an eyebrow and closed the door behind them. "All right....it is. Ben is..."  
  
"A player?"  
  
Quatre scowled at his lover. "If we're going to use such dated terms, I'd have to go with 'ladies man'. He's not serious about anything, Trowa. Or anyone. He would walk all over Amani's heart...and I'm afraid she'd never recover." He began unbuttoning his shirt. "How two such serious people as Heero and Relena managed to produce someone as flighty as Ben, I'll never understand."   
  
"Ben is a good kid, Quatre."   
  
"But is he good enough for Amani? Is he really the sort of guy you want your daughter to place her entire trust in?"   
  
Trowa lay back on the bed, watching Quatre undress. "People can change, Quatre. Remember when Duo told us he was going to marry Hilde? We gave it a year. And now it's been...what? Twenty-eight years?"  
  
Quatre stepped out of his pants. "Don't you ever get tired of being right?"  
  
"Come here." Trowa waited until Quatre had climbed onto the bed beside him. "If we raised the kid right at all, she'll be able to handle herself in any situation. Even situations that involve Ben."   
  
"Yeah..." Quatre nestled his cheek into the crook of Trowa's neck. "I should let her date....anyone of her choosing. But do I have to like it?"  
  
Trowa held him tighter. "Not if I don't. And believe me...I don't."  
  
His partner stared at the wall. "Where did eighteen years go? I still sometimes expect to be woken up in the night by her crying. I have to stop and remind myself that she doesn't need us to do everything for her anymore." He paused. "She barely needs us for anything anymore."   
  
"I think she might still need us for some stuff," Trowa said, confidently. "Only maybe right now, it's more support than guidance."   
  
Quatre smiled and kissed his lover's jaw. "If you don't get tired of being right, I'll get tired of it for you."   
  
****  
  
"Hey! I'm home!!" Twenty year old Benjamin Yuy looked around the empty foyer of his childhood home. When he received no reply, he set down his duffel bag. A puzzled look shadowed his handsome face. "I said, I'm home!"  
  
"Benji!!" His youngest sister, nine year old Anastasia Yuy, flew down the grand staircase and catapulted herself into his arms. "I missed you!!"  
  
He hugged her for a second. "Where's everyone, Ana?"  
  
The little girl took a deep breath. "Daddy and Edward are at work, Mommy is in a meeting with her general advisors, Tori is upstairs taking *another* bath, Uncle Millardo and Aunt Lu went out shopping, Celeste is at her boyfriend's house, Abby is putting Emily down for a nap and I'm...." She sucked in a huge lungful of air. "...out of breath."  
  
Ben patted her head. "Thanks for the update, small one."   
  
Anastasia scowled. "I am not small!" she declared. "I grew a whole inch since the last time you were home. Didn't you notice??"   
  
"Boy Lesson #2, Ana." Victoria descended the stairs, dressed in jeans and a peasant blouse. Her long, chestnut brown hair was wrapped in a wet towel. "They notice nothing. New hair style, new hair color, height difference, new lipstick color...they will never realize anything has changed until you tell them." She smiled sweetly at her brother. "Because they're all complete dorks."   
  
Grinning evily, Ben reached up and grabbed the towel from his sister's head. Her hair fell in wet strings down to the middle of her back. "Your hair's a mess. I noticed that."   
  
Victoria made a grab for the towel. "That's so mature, Benji. Give it back!" He held up over her head. "I said, give it back!" When he still ignored her, Victoria jumped on her brother's back, wrestling him for the towel.   
  
"I see Ben is home." Abigail Maxwell-Peacecraft made her way down to her squabbling younger cousins. "It was so peaceful a few minutes ago."  
  
Ben smiled at his older cousin's wife. He held onto his sister with one arm, to make sure she wouldn't fall, while holding her towel out of her reach with the other. His back bent under the load he carried. "You mean boring, right?"   
  
"You say 'tomato'..." Abigail plucked the towel from his hand and gave it to Victoria. The younger girl released her grip on her brother and landed on the floor.   
  
Victoria gave her a grateful look. "It's nice to know that someone around here cares."  
  
"I care, Tori," Anastasia assured her. She took her sister's hand.   
  
"That's all I need, chibi." Victoria winked at her little sister. "The Yuy girls will be in my room having a make-up lesson," she announced. "Please don't disturb us." With that, she and Anastasia started up the stairs.   
  
"So," Abigail began after the girls were gone. "How are classes?"   
  
Ben made a face. "Classes are classes."  
  
"Don't tell me there's not one interesting thing you've studied all semester." Abigail started for the parlor, picking up a few stray baby toys along the way.   
  
He followed her as she cleaned up after her daughter, Emily. "I guess Colonial History is okay. We had to watch one of Mom's old speeches the other day. She must have been, like, fifteen when she gave it. Kinda weird."   
  
Abigail nodded. "I used to think that, too, when we studied the Eve Wars in school. I thought...damn. When Relena was fifteen, she was Queen of the World. And I'm lucky if I get to be head cheerleader."   
  
"The professor managed to find out who I am," Ben sighed. "I figured if I hung out in the back of the room and didn't say anything, he might overlook me. But now I'm supposed to ask Mom if she would come in and talk to his classes next semester."  
  
Edward's wife gave him a knowing look. "It can't be easy...being held up against your mother by your professors."   
  
"Thank you! Finally, someone understands!"  
  
"Still..." Abigail dumped a load of baby blocks into a basket. "It doesn't mean you should slack off to prove something."   
  
Ben didn't say anything for a minute. "Who's Celeste's new boyfriend?" he finally asked.   
  
"Some kid in her class. Actually, I was going to talk to you about it." She sat on the edge of a plush chair. "My feminine instincts tell me that my sister-in-law is very close to letting this boy go where no one has gone before."  
  
He lifted an eyebrow. "What does that have to do with me?"  
  
"I want you to talk to her about it. Try to get her to think with her head and not her libido."   
  
Ben sat next to her. "Abby...it'd be way too hypocritical of me to do that. I started having sex when I was seventeen." He stopped, unsure if Abigail was aware of with whom he had started having sex. If she didn't know...he wasn't about to tell her.   
  
"Well then...you should know better than anyone else how completely horny guys are when they're Celeste's age." Abigail looked at him seriously. "Just remind her that not all guys are into sex for the same reasons girls are. If I had given in to Edward when I was her age, we might not be where we are right now."   
  
"Why don't you tell her that?"  
  
"And shatter her illusion that her brother was my first lover? Never." Abigail winked at him. "Do me this one favor, Ben? Consider it your reparations to my gender."   
  
Ben blinked. "Edward wasn't your first lover?" Abigail slapped his arm. "Ow," he laughed. "Fine, fine. I have 'the talk' with Celeste tonight."   
  
Abigail jumped off the couch. "You're a doll."   
  
"Hey!" Ben cried. "What do you mean 'reparations'?"  
  
****  
  
"The captain has turned off the fasten seat belt sign. Feel free to move about the cabin."   
  
Amani looked up from her magazine. "You mean float around the cabin," she corrected the stewardess.   
  
In the seat beside her, Adam Maxwell lifted his headphones off his ears. "Did you say something?"  
  
"Nothing." She set the magazine aside. "It's really good to see you, Adam."   
  
He turned his music off to give her his full attention. "It's good to see you, too. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to come with everyone this weekend. Schoolwork is overwhelming senior year." He glanced to the back of the space shuttle where his parents, Duo and Hilde Maxwell, along with Quatre and Trowa, were seated. "But Dad convinced me to take a break. I'm not supposed to think about school for the next three days."   
  
"And Mr. Heero says your dad isn't smart," Amani laughed.   
  
Adam's violet eyes twinkled. "Plus once I learned Lin would be coming..." He didn't need to finish his sentence.   
  
"Just save a dance for me," she told him. "It is my birthday, after all."   
  
Duo's son took her hand and lifted it to his lips. "Anything for the birthday girl."   
  
Amani could hear a faint snort from the seats behind them. The place Adam's twin sister, Eve, was seated. Amani slumped down into her seat and motioned for Adam to do the same. Her voice lowered. "What's wrong with her? She's been especially bitchy ever since we picked you all up on L2."  
  
"One guess, 'Mani," Adam replied. "And it has to do with the fact that her twin brother got the guy she was after."  
  
She smothered a giggle with her hand. "I can't believe she's still upset about that. She needs to get over it before you guys have a commitment ceremony or something. By the way, Tori and I do get to be the flower girls at that, right?"  
  
A shadow crossed over Adam's face. "I wouldn't start picking out your dresses yet."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
Adam paused. "Lin and I have been....shaky lately. Whenever I call, he's busy and whenever he calls, I'm busy. We've barely talked to each other in two months." He frowned "And it doesn't help that Dad doesn't always give me his messages."   
  
Amani thought for a minute. "I know it was hard for Mr. Duo at first. But I thought he was getting better about it."   
  
"Yeah, me too. I don't know." Adam shifted in his seat. "Maybe I'm just projecting what I'm feeling onto Dad."   
  
"And what are you feeling? You're not having doubts about Lin, are you?"  
  
Adam shook his head. "Of course not. But I can't help but get the feeling that...he's having second thoughts about me."   
  
She patted his hand. "You two just need to spend the next few days together. Get back to being...you know...a couple."   
  
"You're right." Duo's son arched his back, stretching. "Enough about me. What's going on with you?"  
  
Amani undid the belt around her waist and drew one knee up to her chest. "Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Pretty pathetic really."   
  
"Nothing new in *that* department?"  
  
"There is no department," Amani corrected him. "Besides, to have something new happening would imply that there is something older and established. My love life is, always has been and probably always will be a blank notebook, Adam."   
  
"Well put, Amani." Eve Maxwell popped her head over their seat backs, her long braid falling between her twin and the blond girl. "I couldn't have said it better myself."   
  
"Eve," Adam began wearily. "We were having a conversation..."  
  
Her face, so eerily similar to his, adopted a look of feigned shock. "Such intellectuals. You don't just talk; you converse. Pardon me for interrupting all your big words."  
  
Amani glanced at Adam. "Someone needs to drop a house on your sister and save the Munchkins."   
  
He shook his head. "Eve, give it a rest. Don't make me have to tell Mom and Dad what time you *really* came in the other night."   
  
Eve sucked in a breath. "You wouldn't. You're bluffing."   
  
"I'm sure Dad especially would like to know that not only did you come in at three AM instead of midnight, but you were wearing someone else's shirt inside out and..."  
  
"How we could have possibly been conceived at the same time is completely unfathomable to me", Eve hissed.   
  
Amani smiled sweetly up at Duo's daughter. "See? You know some big words too, Eve."   
  
She disappeared in a huff; her seat creaked behind them as she flopped back into it. Adam lowered his eyes, playing with the dial on his Walkman. "I'm going to get all sentimental here for a minute. Bear with me." Amani nodded, letting him continue. "Wasn't it only a year or two ago that we were all pretty much friends? What happened?"  
  
"I guess we grew apart. At least Eve and I did."  
  
Adam twisted the dial with careful determination. "How could I have grown apart from my twin sister?"   
  
"It's not irreversible," Amani assured him. "You should talk to her."  
  
"And you should take some of your own advice." Adam took her hand. "Talk to Ben."   
  
Amani laughed nervously. "Give your brain a rest, Einstein. Ben and I aren't an equation you can solve. We're a....what's the word I'm looking for?"  
  
"Non-existent plane." Eve's voice was sharp.   
  
"Cut it out!" Adam shot back. He lowered his tone. "Amani...trust me on this one. You'll never know until you try. That first step is the hardest you'll ever take and the reward may not be instantaneous. But it will be worth it in the end."   
  
Eve listened carefully to her brother's advice. Her lips curled up. So, Amani was after Ben. And Eve had *had* Ben....in every sense of the word. Amani didn't have to know that Eve didn't want him anymore.... She picked up her magazine.   
  
The weekend was looking up.  
  
****  
  
What always struck Amani when she first entered the grand foyer of the Peacecraft Manor was how the huge, open space, which in any other building would have been cold and imposing, felt so warm and comfortable. Maybe it wasn't the house, but the people who lived in it. One of whom was running down the stairs at full speed to greet the newcomers.   
  
"Mani!!" Victoria's long hair flew around her face.   
  
"Tori!!"   
  
The two girls embraced for a long minute. Victoria pulled away and threw her arms around Adam's neck. "I'm so glad you're all here!!"   
  
The rest of the household began to appear to greet the Maxwells and Bartons. Amani received an extra long hug from Victoria's mother, Relena Peacecraft-Yuy. "How are you doing, sweetie?"   
  
"I'm all right, Miss Relena. Just tired. It's a long shuttle trip."  
  
Heero Yuy appeared at the top of the stairs. He joined the group, shaking hands with Adam's father, Duo. "Made it one piece, I see," he said to his best friend.  
  
Duo matched the handshake with a quick, manly hug. "I need a drink," he declared.  
  
His wife swatted his arm. "It's way too early for that. Everyone's not even here..."  
  
As soon as the words were out of her mouth, the door opened again. Sally Chang and her two children, sixteen year old Jade and eighteen year old Lin entered the house. "Are we late?" Sally asked.   
  
A new round of hugs began. Abigail came to the stairs and ran down the steps quickly. "Mom! Dad!!" She threw her arms around Duo and Hilde. A moment later, her husband, Edward Peacecraft, followed her, their daughter, Emily, in his arms.   
  
Duo lifted his granddaughter up into the air. She squealed in utter delight. "There's my beautiful violet-eyed baby!!" He kissed both her chubby cheeks before passing her to Hilde.  
  
Amani gave Lin a quick hug. She pulled away as Adam and Lin's eyes met. Smiling, she patted the Chinese boy on the arm. "He's missed you," she whispered.   
  
Lin lowered his eyes to the tiled floor. "I've missed him."   
  
"Go give him a hug," Amani ordered.   
  
"What...in front of everyone?"  
  
She pursed her lips. "It's not like it's a secret, Lin."  
  
Nodding, Lin took a deep breath. Mustering all his courage, he walked over to Adam. "Hey," he began in a soft tone. "Can I hug my boyfriend?"  
  
Adam couldn't help breaking into a wide smile. "Sure."   
  
Out of the corner of his eye, Duo watched his son embrace the other boy. He coughed. "I really, really need that drink." Heero raised an eyebrow.  
  
Amani smiled, surveying the people around her. Millardo Peacecraft, his wife, Lucrezia, and their eighteen year old daughter, Celeste, had joined the group from the kitchen and were now exchanging hugs, kisses and handshakes. It had been a very long time since everyone had gathered together. After a few minutes, the adults drifted towards the kitchen, leaving their children behind in the foyer.   
  
The sound of someone clearing their throat caught Amani's attention. She turned around to see Benjamin Yuy standing in front of her, a lopsided grin on his all-too handsome face. Her stomach dropped a few inches. Did he have any idea what that smile, coupled with the mischievous glint in his Prussian blue eyes, could do to a girl?   
  
Yes, of course he did.   
  
"Ben," she greeted him quietly. "It's nice to see you."   
  
A momentary shadow passed over his face. "That's all I get? 'It's nice to see you'?" Before Amani could reply, he wrapped his arms around her in a huge hug that lifted her off the ground. "There!" he declared, setting her down. "That's a much better welcome."   
  
Amani felt the blood rush to her cheeks. Being that close to him was unbelievable. His strong arms around her, his chest pressed to hers...even through their clothes she could feel his warmth. It was a fantasy come true; he even smelled perfect....some sort of cologne that she would never be able to smell again without going weak in the knees. "It..." She put a hand to her flaming cheek. "It's been too long, Ben."   
  
Eve, who had been almost completely silent up until then, enduring brief hugs but returning none, came to life suddenly as she watch Ben and Amani. Snaking her way through the crowd, she approached Ben. "I agree," she said, smoothly. Her hand reached up, cupping the back of his head, as she brought his lips down onto hers and slipped her tongue into his mouth. Too stunned to react, Ben let the kiss happen. She broke it a moment later and gave him a sly smile. "It's been way, way too long."   
  
A second passed. Determined not to show any visible reaction, Amani forced a smile of her own onto her lips. Her cheeks which had been so rosy only moments earlier, were now drained of all blood. Eve held onto Ben's arm, possessively. The smile froze on Amani's face. "Like I said...nice to see you." She quickly turned and made her way over to Victoria.   
  
Ben shook his head. "Just what do you think you're doing, Eve?"  
  
"Oh come on." She bumped her hip into his. "Don't tell me that didn't bring back fond memories." Ben hesitated. She continued, "The hot tub....after everyone was asleep....you still remember, don't you?"  
  
"Yeah...I mean....no. I mean..." Ben sighed. "It was a mistake we made a long time ago, Eve."   
  
"You didn't think it was a mistake then." Her voice dropped just low enough to where she had to whisper in his ear. "I still have that bikini. I brought it with me...just in case. It's a little small on me now. Especially the top. Would you like to..."  
  
"Hey, Evie." Celeste Peacecraft called out to Duo's daughter, using the nickname she absolutely abhorred. "Try not to leave drool spots on my cousin's arm."   
  
Eve's violet eyes narrowed, followed by a brilliantly fake smile. "I could say the same to you about my brother."   
  
"Nice comeback," Celeste laughed. "Did you think of that one all by yourself or did you get the football team to help?" Before Eve could shoot back a reply, Celeste addressed the younger generation. "I have the greatest idea, you guys. How about after the party, we all go down to the beach and have a bonfire?"  
  
Jade smiled broadly. "That sounds fabulous!" Her brother nodded in agreement, his fingers entwined with Adam's. She glanced at the other girls. "Doesn't it?"  
  
Victoria lifted her shoulders. Her arm was linked with Amani's, protectively. The scene between Amani and Ben and Eve had not escaped her attention. "I guess. Sure," she replied. Amani nodded, but said nothing.  
  
Ben took a breath and released it slowly. It was going to be a long weekend.  
  
****  
  
Duo set down his empty whiskey glass with more force than necessary. "I'm never going to get used to it," he declared.   
  
Heero, the only one paying attention to him, removed the whiskey bottle from his reach. "Don't let Quatre and Trowa hear you say that."   
  
"That's completely different!" Duo swallowed as though there was a bad taste in his mouth.   
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because!"  
  
Heero glanced at the afore-mentioned couple, who were lost in conversation with Millardo and Noin. "So, it's all right to be gay. It's just not all right to be your son and be gay?"  
  
Duo scowled, dangerously. "You couldn't possibly understand." He leaned closer to Heero. "How would you feel if you walked in on Ben making out with another guy?"  
  
"I'm not sure," Heero said, thoughtfully. He snorted. "However I felt, I'd damn sure be over it after nearly two years."   
  
"Yeah right. It's very easy to say that when your son is..." He stopped before he could say anything bad about Ben. Certainly, Heero already knew the kind of reputation his son had earned when it came to women. "So, I should just get over it?"  
  
Heero lifted a shoulder. "It's not as though you don't have another son to carry on the infamous Maxwell bloodline."   
  
Duo had to smile. "Speaking of Thomas....he wants to know if it's okay if he drives over for the party tomorrow. He missed Eve and Adam's birthday, so he wants to celebrate Amani and Victoria's."   
  
"Of course it's all right!" Relena approached the two men, taking the whiskey bottle away from them. She gave her husband a quick kiss on the cheek. "Thomas is always welcome here. It's so rare that we get to see him, though."   
  
"Med school keeps him busy." Duo stretched his arms. "My ambitious kids. Did Hilde tell you that Ruth is in Paris now?"   
  
"Still dealing art?" Relena asked.   
  
Duo nodded. "This week at least." His face darkened. "She'd rather be anywhere than L2. They all would. Adam's already looking at colleges on Earth. Eve, too."   
  
Relena patted his shoulder, reassuringly. "It's part of the leaving the nest process, Duo. You can't get out and find yourself if you stay in one place."   
  
"He just doesn't like giving up control." Heero put his arm around his wife's waist.  
  
Duo's scowl grew deeper. "Who does?"  
  
****  
  
Control was something Millardo Peacecraft had given up a long time ago. From the day his six year old daughter had refused to wear a skirt for fear of being too girly to play with her older cousin, Benjamin, he had resigned himself to the fact that his opinions counted for very little where Celeste was concerned. So at dinner that night, as he stared over at the other table at the latest boy to wriggle his way into Celeste's life, it was all he could to do to keep himself from wondering....just who was this kid and how well did he know his daughter?  
  
The boy, Andrew Douglas, seemed nice enough, but in the crowd of life-long friends gathered around the second table, his voice had been completely lost. He sat quietly beside Celeste, eating his dinner and listening to the continuous chatter without making any contributions. Just as Millardo had hoped, his nephew addressed the boy.   
  
"So...Andrew," Ben began, setting down his water glass. "How did you meet Stinky?"   
  
Andrew blinked. "Who?"  
  
Celeste tightened her grip on her fork. "Benjamin," she began in a warning tone.   
  
"Stinky," Ben continued, ignoring his cousin. "Celeste. We call her that because there was this one time..."  
  
"*We* don't call her that." Victoria stepped in on her cousin's behalf. "Only Benji does. The rest of us stopped when we were eight."   
  
Andrew smiled weakly. "We have calculus together," he answered Ben's question.   
  
"Andrew is brilliant in that class," Celeste emphasized. "I'd be failing it if it weren't for him."   
  
Ben smiled. "She never was very good at the addition." Under the table, Celeste kicked him with the sharp heel of her shoe. He kicked back.   
  
"This coming from the boy who needed a sixth grader to correct his English papers," Amani mumbled. The others laughed, remembering the time Amani had helped Ben with his eighth grade homework.   
  
"Not to mention needing both Lin and I to explain stoichiometry to him when we were freshman and he was a junior." Adam squeezed Lin's fingers under the table cloth.  
  
"Face it, Ben." Celeste lifted her water glass, triumphantly. "You'd have never made it out of high school without us."   
  
Ben took the teasing in stride. "But, we're not talking about me, are we? We're talking about Andrew."   
  
Victoria sighed. "Ignore him, Andrew. He's in cahoots with Edward and Uncle Millardo." Andrew looked extremely nervous. "Don't worry." She winked. "You're doing just fine."  
  
"Does everyone who dates into this family go through this?" Andrew asked. His question was greeted with laughter from the younger generation.   
  
Eve smiled slyly. "That's why we generally don't bring outsiders to the table."   
  
Celeste's smile fell. "Speak for yourself, Evie. Some of us aren't ashamed of who we date."   
  
Before things could get ugly, Amani cleared her throat. "Andrew, are you as good at trig as you are at calculus?" The conversation became much more pleasant as Amani listened carefully to Andrew explaining several mathematical principles. Ben watched the blond girl over the rim of his glass as she gradually brought the newcomer out of his shell.  
  
Amani brought out the best in everyone. Only Ben had never allowed her close enough to work her unconscious abilities on him. There were too many other fish in the sea, he had long reasoned. Too many to concentrate his efforts on a girl two years younger than him. A girl who defined the word innocent. A girl who lately had been constantly in his thoughts.   
  
There was an unfamiliar weight pressing on his chest. He set down his glass and swallowed heavily. Was she the cause of it? If so....how could he stop it before it went too far? Before he fell in love?  
  
Eve's eyes never left the oldest Yuy's handsome face. He was watching her again. He was always watching her. Amani. Little Miss Perfect. Quite abruptly, Eve left the table, not in the least bit upset that no one noticed her leaving. At least, that's what she told herself. That she wasn't upset. No one ever noticed her anyways.   
  
But soon....Amani would. Eve was going to make damn sure of that.  
  
****  
  
Celeste had just changed into her nightgown when there was a knock on her bedroom door. She started for it, before remembering that the house was now full of guests. It could be anyone on the other side and it probably wouldn't do to answer the door in her rather flimsy pajamas. She reached for her robe and pulled it on before she called out, "Come in."  
  
It was only Ben. He stepped into the room cautiously. "Are you decent, Stinky?"  
  
She scowled. "Ben, I swear to god if you call me that one more time..."  
  
"Oh, lighten up." He closed the door behind himself. "Look, if I embarrassed you in front of that guy, I'm sorry. Okay?"  
  
"Hmph. Apology accepted." Celeste sat down on her bed. "Is that all you came to do? Apologize?"  
  
"Actually..." He sat on the edge of the mattress. "There's something else."  
  
Celeste sighed. "Spit it out."  
  
His lips curled up in a smile. "You asked for it." After a pause, he continued. "Are you having sex?"  
  
The guilty look of shock that spread on her face was more than enough to answer her cousin's question. When she had a moment to recover, her eyes narrowed. "All right. Who put you up to this? Daddy or Edward?"  
  
"Honestly, neither of them."  
  
"But it was someone."  
  
Ben shook his head. "That's not the point. I'm just supposed to tell you to be careful."  
  
"I didn't say I was having sex," she countered.  
  
"Come on." He gave her a leveling look. "Remember who you're talking to here."  
  
She jumped off the bed, her normally calm blue eyes flashing. "I know exactly who I'm talking to! And I don't think that someone who boned a fifteen year old in a hot tub has any right to tell me how to live my life!"  
  
Her cousin was quiet for a second. "You're probably right," he finally said.   
  
Some of her anger deflated in the wake of his words. "I am?"  
  
Ben nodded. "Come here."  
  
Celeste approached him cautiously. He held out his arm and she tentatively sat beside him, allowing her cousin to enfold her in a hug. "I just don't want to see you get hurt."  
  
"I'm not going to get hurt," she mumbled into his shoulder. "Andrew's a great guy." There was a pause. "You're not going to tell Edward or Daddy, are you?"  
  
He laughed. "No way. Uncle Millardo doesn't believe in the phrase 'don't kill the messenger' after all."   
  
Celeste smiled. "Thanks."  
  
Ben squeezed his cousin tighter. "You are using protection, right?"  
  
"Oh god..." She pushed him away, more embarrassed than angry. "Of course! I'm not an idiot, Ben."  
  
"Never said you were. I'm just fulfilling my cousinly duties." He grinned. "Stinky."  
  
This time, she pushed him off the bed.  
  
****  
  
The next morning, Duo was up before anyone else in the house. He took a quick shower, dressed, kissed his deeply asleep wife on the forehead and started down the stairs. The house was completely silent; even Heero was still in bed. As Duo entered the kitchen, he jumped about three feet in the air when he heard a voice say, "Daddy."  
  
He blinked. In the dark, sitting at the island in the middle of the kitchen, was his youngest daughter. "Grace?"   
  
Eve hesitated before replying. "I'm Eve, Daddy."  
  
Duo shook his head. "I'm sorry. Eve." He attempted a laugh. "There's too many of you." When she said nothing, he walked towards her. "What are you doing up?"  
  
She hopped off the barstool. "Are you going to the cemetery?" Duo nodded. "Could I maybe...tag along?"  
  
Her father looked puzzled. "Really? You don't usually like to go there."  
  
"Well, I'm getting older now." Eve lifted her shoulder nonchalantly and reached for a thermos. "I made you some coffee, Daddy."   
  
Smiling, Duo put his arm around his daughter. "Come on, you."  
  
They were quiet as they drove in one of Heero's cars to the cemetery. Duo sipped his coffee and kept his eyes on the road. In the passenger's seat, Eve looked down at her hands for the most part, only occasionally sneaking glances at her father. His mood became more and more somber as they came closer to their destination. There was a light in the east, but no sun to speak of when they finally arrived. The walk to the grave was short. Eve followed Duo a couple of paces behind; he didn't seem to notice her lagging.   
  
When Duo stopped in front of Grace's grave, he let out a long breath, visible in the cold, pre-dawn air. He didn't speak; he only stood there, eyeing the eighteen year old grave. Eve shifted her weight from foot to foot, rubbing her hands together to keep warm. She avoided looking at her sister's grave as much as possible. When she glanced at her father, she could see a few stray tears leaking down his cheeks. But Eve had no tears for the sister she had never known. And she never had.   
  
"You know..." he began after a long moment. "She'd be twenty-two by now." Duo looked up at the sky; faint reds and pinks bled across it as the sun began to rise. "In college probably. I wonder what she'd be studying."  
  
Eve swallowed heavily. "I don't know. I didn't know her."  
  
Her father lowered his head. "You would have loved her. Everyone loved her. She was..." He stopped.  
  
"Daddy?"  
  
"Hmn?"  
  
"Do I...do I look like her?"  
  
Duo turned his head to look at his youngest child. Heart shaped face, deep violet eyes, chestnut hair falling in a braid so similar to his over her left shoulder. He smiled. "Sometimes I think you are her. What she would have been if she had gotten to grow up."  
  
It was not the answer she had been looking for. "But I'm not her, Daddy," she whispered. "I'm me."  
  
He didn't seem to hear her. Or maybe he just didn't want to. "Baby, you'll understand someday. But there's nothing that hurts more than losing a child. Your mom and I have grieved every day for eighteen years. It's a pain that doesn't ever go away."   
  
But what he didn't say out loud or perhaps what his daughter could not hear was, *The rest of you are what keep us going.*  
  
And so Eve watched her father grieve for the child he had lost, feeling quite lost herself.  
  
****  
  
Amani woke up on the morning of the party with an entire flock of butterflies in her stomach. After staring at the ceiling of Victoria's bedroom for a long time, she turned her head to the side. Her best friend was curled up in a tight ball on her own side of the bed, mumbling something in her sleep. Amani shook her head, amused. She could have had a room to herself; there were certainly enough of them in the Peacecraft Manor. But sharing Victoria's room was so much more fun. The two girls had stayed up very late the night before, catching up on the tiniest details of one another's lives. Not having a sister of her own, Amani considered herself most fortunate to have Victoria.  
  
Sunlight streamed into Victoria's room and played across the bed. Amani pushed the covers off her legs and stood up. It was time to get a start on the day. Yawning, she padded across the thick carpet to the bathroom door. It was locked. Confused, she tried the knob again. It was only after she tried it again that she remembered the bathroom was connected to Anastasia's room. The youngest Yuy had beaten her to the shower.   
  
Amani pulled on a short, terrycloth robe over her silk chemise and tiny pajama bottoms and stepped into a pair of slippers. She peeked her head out of the door and glanced down the hallway. It was clear. Still, she covered the distance to the hallway bathroom quickly. When she reached it, she twisted the knob. It was unlocked. Sighing in relief, Amani let herself in.   
  
He was standing at the sink, wearing nothing but a small, white towel. It hung low on his hips, threatening to fall at any second and reveal its secrets. He didn't seem to notice her right away; he was concentrating on shaving the side of his jaw. Benjamin Yuy. Half-naked and right in front of her.   
  
"Ben..." she whispered, involuntarily.   
  
His hand slipped, deeply nicking the underside of his chin. "Shit!" he cried out, dropping the razor. Ignoring the pain, Ben turned his head to stare at the bathroom door. Amani Barton stood in the doorway, her lovely face pale and slightly shocked. Sleep-tousled blond curls fell over her shoulders. A short robe exposed perfectly shaped legs. It was a bit too much for a man in the morning. "Amani...what the...?"  
  
"I'm sorry!" Her cheeks flamed. "The door was unlocked, so I..." She stopped when she noticed a thin stream of blood running down his neck. "Ben...you're..." Amani pointed to his wound.  
  
Ben glanced in the mirror. "Damn," he cursed, swiping at the blood.   
  
Without thinking, Amani stepped into the room and reached for a tissue. She approached him and pressed the makeshift bandage to the cut. "Here...put a little pressure on it," she said.   
  
He silently cursed Adam for stealing his shower. If he hadn't gotten to the bathroom first, Ben wouldn't have had to use the hall bathroom to shave. It was right then that he also became all too aware of how little he was wearing. He clutched the towel to ensure that it stayed in place. "Um...thanks."   
  
Amani's gaze hovered somewhere around his mouth. *Don't look down,* she told herself. *You're not interested in his chest. You're not interested in what's below his chest. Just don't look down.*  
  
"You know..." Ben swallowed and quickly threw on his cocky persona. What else could he do when he was so exposed and she was so close he could feel her warmth? He laughed and shook his finger at her. "If you wanted to see me naked, you could have just asked, Amani."  
  
Her jaw dropped. After a pause, she pulled her hand away. The tissue stuck to his neck. That look in his eyes. So amused. So confidant.   
  
So patronizing.   
  
Another girl might have slapped him. Another girl might have told him off. But not Amani. Humiliation washed over her in a great wave. Of course he was amused. How could he not be when she was blushing like a child simply because he was wearing a towel? Eve wouldn't have behaved like an adolescent, she told herself. Eve would have done something...something cool. Something sexy. Something to which Ben certainly would haven't reacted with condescension.  
  
But she wasn't Eve. All she did was back up a step and glance down at her fuzzy slippers. "I'm sorry I didn't knock." Quickly, before he could laugh at her again, Amani left the bathroom and slammed the door behind her.   
  
As soon as she was gone, Ben cursed once more, this time at himself. Gripping the sink, he lowered his chin to his chest.   
  
"Why are you such a fucking idiot?" he asked himself.   
  
After a long minute, he lifted his head and looked in the mirror. He ignored his handsome features, the dark blue eyes, thick brown hair, straight nose, clear skin and well-shaped mouth that had gotten him into every girl's bed he had ever wanted.   
  
For the first time in his life, he hated what he saw.   
  
****  
  
Because the house was undergoing the enormous process of being decorated for the party, lunch was an informal affair. A light buffet had been laid out on the kitchen counters and all eighteen people in the house helped themselves at their leisure. Amani waited until well past noon to venture downstairs to eat. She had successfully managed to avoid Ben all morning and she fully intended to keep right on avoiding him.   
  
There was no one in the kitchen when she entered it. Relieved, Amani took a plate and began to serve herself. She had just settled down with her food when the doorbell chimed. Expecting someone else, someone closer to answer it, she took a bite of her sandwich. It chimed again. On the fourth chime, Amani sighed and ran out into the foyer.   
  
When she pulled the door open, she was greeted by the sight of a most unexpected person. "Thomas?"  
  
Duo and Hilde's oldest son, twenty-four year old Thomas Maxwell, smiled warmly, his violet eyes shimmering. "Hey there, little 'Mani."   
  
"Oh my god!" Without hesitancy, she hugged him. "I haven't seen you in, like, years!"   
  
"Three, to be exact." Thomas returned the hug and then pulled back to study her. "My, my. I don't think I can call you 'little' anymore, can I?"   
  
Amani shrugged. "Call me what you like. It's just so good to see you! You came for our party?"  
  
"Yes ma'am. It's only a four hour drive and worth it to see everyone." He dropped a chaste kiss onto her cheek. "And to wish you a happy birthday." Thomas ran a hand through his short, chestnut hair. Like his brother, Thomas had never felt the need to grow his hair out like his father's. It surprised everyone except Duo who had always taken the slight rebellion in stride.   
  
"Thank you, Thomas." She closed the front door. "Did everyone know you were coming? 'Cause if so, they forgot to tell me."  
  
"My parents know and I assume Heero and Relena do, too." He glanced around the foyer. "This place doesn't ever change much, does it?"  
  
"I consider that a good thing." Amani lifted her hands, apologetically. "I don't know exactly where everyone is right now, though."   
  
Thomas winked as he adjusted the bag slung over his shoulder. "Well, it's a big house."  
  
"See, if someone had bothered to mention that you were coming, I'd know what room to send you up to so you could get rid of that bag on your back. As it is..." She smiled at him. "You might just have to carry it for a minute until..."  
  
"There you are, 'Mani!!" Victoria appeared at the top of the stairs, her long hair up in curlers. "I've been looking for you every..." Her voice trailed off as she noticed the man beside her best friend. "Thomas?"  
  
He looked up and smiled broadly. "Hey there, kiddo. Happy birthday."   
  
Amani could have sworn the other girl blushed at his words. And Victoria Yuy rarely blushed at anything. "Um...what are you doing here?" Victoria asked. Her voice was unusually high pitched. "Not that you're not welcome...it's just that we don't ever see you...I mean, it's been awhile since we've seen you. Not that I've been counting days or anything, but you live so close and you come so rarely." She took a breath. "What are you doing here?"  
  
"I heard there was going to be a party here tonight. I hope you two don't mind that I decided to crash." Thomas' eyes twinkled, a distinct Maxwell trait.  
  
"Of course not," Amani immediately replied.  
  
Victoria's reply took longer as she was apparently trying to clear some strange lump in her throat. "We're...glad you came." Her next words were slightly more forceful. "Amani...can you come here and help me with my hair?" There was a pause. "Now?"  
  
"But..." Amani gestured to Thomas.   
  
"It's okay." Thomas took her hand and kissed the back of it, dramatically. "I'll wander the palace grounds, m'lady, until I find someone responsible. Or my father. Whichever comes first." He glanced back up at Victoria. "Princess." After a small but exaggerated bow, he left in the direction of the kitchen.   
  
Victoria raced down the stairs, ignoring the loose state of her curlers. "What on earth was that?!" she whispered loudly and frantically.  
  
Amani blinked. "That was Thomas. You do remember Thomas, don't you? Adam and Eve's brother...med student...is it all coming back to you now?"  
  
"That's not what I meant." Victoria gave her best friend a look. "I was talking about me! Did you see me?! I acted like some little..." She searched for the right word. "School girl."   
  
The feeling was a bit too familiar to Amani. "You are a school girl," she reminded her friend, listlessly.   
  
"Yeah, but I didn't have to act like it!!" Victoria sighed. "Maybe he didn't notice. What am I saying? How could he not have noticed?" She put a hand to her cheek. "God, I'm probably blushing, aren't I?" She didn't wait for a reply. "He called me 'kiddo'. Did you hear that? Kiddo. Like I didn't turn eighteen a couple days ago. You know..."   
  
Victoria went on and on, but Amani was only pretending to listen. All she kept seeing in her mind was Ben. Ben in his towel. Ben in his towel, laughing at her.   
  
Something shook her arm. She blinked. "What?"  
  
"Are you listening to me?"  
  
"Of course I am." There was a pause. "What did you say?"  
  
Victoria smiled. "Want me to start on your hair, 'Mani?"  
  
"That would be great." Amani lifted a falling curler on her friend's head. "Just as soon as we fix your own."   
  
Heero's daughter expelled a breath, blowing a loose strand of hair away from her face. "It's a lost cause. I think I'm just going to wear it down tonight. Maybe pulled back with clips. How are you going to wear your hair? Your dress has spaghetti straps so you could wear it up or down, your choice. I have a really cute clip that would match the color...."   
  
Amani let herself be led up the stairs, but once more she tuned out her best friend's voice in favor of the memory of the other girl's brother. In a towel.  
  
****  
  
"Duo, you should really think about going inside. You're going to be as red as a lobster at the party."   
  
The man in question lowered his sunglasses just enough to see his wife standing at the side of the pool, her arms crossed over her conservative one piece bathing suit. Rather than answering, he lifted his arm from the inflatable raft, dipped his hand in the cool pool water and sent a wave of it flying towards her. Hilde let out a girlish peal of laughter as the water splashed over her legs.   
  
From her place well-hidden under the wide brim of an umbrella, Relena shook her head. "If Heero did that to me, I'd have to kill him." She smiled. "Peacefully, of course."   
  
Dripping wet, Hilde approached her friends. "I'll let it slide this once. Just because it's such a gorgeous day."  
  
Relena nodded her agreement. "Strange, but gorgeous. It's very hard to believe that it's December." She smiled at the warm sun. "Not that I'm complaining. We should enjoy it while it lasts."  
  
Beside her, Lucrezia Noin nodded her agreement and set aside her magazine. "What time is it, Sal?"   
  
Sally glanced at her daughter, who was employing the afternoon sunlight in an attempt to turn her golden skin a shade darker. "Where's your watch, Jade?"  
  
"Inside," the girl mumbled, sleepily.  
  
Noin glanced at Relena. "Time?"  
  
"I don't have a watch on," her sister in law replied. "Abby?"   
  
The younger woman tore her eyes away from her daughter for a minute, keeping one hand firmly around the child as she happily bobbed up and down in her little buoyant chair. She lifted her arm out of the pool and glanced at her waterproof watch. "It's just after two." Abby looked back at Emily. "Are you getting tired, baby?" Emily laughed and splashed her mother, indicating that she was not.  
  
Noin stood up and stretched. "Think we should drag our husbands out of the garage sometime and clean them up, Relena?"   
  
"I think we should send an emissary," Relena said, settling back into her lounge chair. "Someone who can reason on their level, therefore having a greater success probability." She glanced meaningfully at Hilde.  
  
The other woman nodded. "Duo, get going," she ordered her husband. "And don't forget to bring Quatre and Trowa back, too."  
  
"Grab Edward while you're out there, Dad," Abigail asked.   
  
Duo sat up on his float. "Hey! I'm just lying here, minding my own business, perfectly innocent and..."  
  
"Innocent? My dad? I hardly think so."  
  
Hilde turned around upon hearing the familiar voice of her oldest son. "Thomas!!" She enveloped him in a huge hug, not even affording him the time to set his bags down on the deck. "Oh, I'm so glad you're here, baby!!"  
  
Thomas dropped his luggage and kissed his mother's cheek. "Me too, Mom. I missed you."   
  
In the pool, Duo started paddling over to the side. "We were wondering when you were going to get here, kid."   
  
Abigail was already out, dripping wet and carrying Emily. She sauntered over to her brother and handed him his wet niece. "Been a long time, Tommy."   
  
Thomas took Emily, ignoring the water on his shirt. His free arm snaked around his sister's shoulders and pulled her into a hug. "Good things come to those who wait, Abby." He laughed as his sister stuck her tongue out at him before planting a kiss onto Emily's cheek.   
  
After somehow managing to disentangle himself from his raft, Duo approached his family and clapped a hand onto his son's shoulder. "I don't suppose you managed to convince Ruth to fly in, too."  
  
"Don't hope for miracles, Dad," was Thomas' dry response.   
  
Duo opened his mouth to reply, but Hilde quickly grabbed his hand. "Let's not argue. Almost everyone is here; let's just be grateful for that."  
  
"I just think that Ruth could at least try to come to *some* family functions every now then." Duo raised his hands. "That's all."  
  
Abigail suddenly became very interested in the twisted strap of her daughter's bathing suit. Thomas glanced down at the wet deck. Hilde bit her lip and squeezed Duo's hand. "We really should think about getting showers. If we plan right, everyone can have hot water."   
  
Thomas cleared his throat. "Where are Adam and Eve? I'd kinda like to see them."  
  
"Upstairs," his sister quickly answered. "Come on. We'll go together." She and Thomas, still carrying Emily, started back into the house.   
  
Duo looked at his wife. "Did I miss something?" Shaking his head, he walked to the table to retrieve a towel.   
  
Hilde sighed. "Maybe you did," she whispered.  
  
****  
  
"I swear, 'Mani. I had the clip just the other day."   
  
With her hands holding her hair into a perfect position, Amani sighed. "It's okay, 'Tori." She let her hair fall back around her shoulders. "I can wear it down."  
  
Anastasia twirled around in her new party dress, making the material float around her stocking-clad legs. "I like it up, 'Mani," she informed the older girl.  
  
Victoria continued to rummage through her dresser for the promised hairclip. "It's going to be up. I am going to find this clip if it kills me!"  
  
"Did you lend it to Celeste?" Amani gently moved Anastasia aside so she could examine her own reflection in the full length mirror. Besides her hair, she looked the best she figured she could. Her dress, made of soft blue silk, clung to her curves, ending just above her knees. It had been worth every penny.   
  
"No," Victoria replied. After a second, her head shot up. "But I did give it to Abby. I'll go get it from her."  
  
"I can do it," Amani said. She pointed to her half-dressed friend. "You don't even have your dress on yet."   
  
Victoria glanced at the bed where her party dress lay. It was very similar to Amani's in design, but a dark shade of red that would look fantastic against her rich, brown hair. "Fine. You know which room is Abby and Edward's, right?"  
  
Amani nodded, already halfway out the door. It only took a minute to reach the young couple's room; it was only a short ways down the hall. Their door was slightly ajar, but Amani still reached out to knock. Her hand stopped in mid-air when she heard Abigail's voice, raised in anger.  
  
"You should have been there, Edward," she fumed. "He just acted like there was nothing wrong at all. Like it was all Ruth's fault or something."  
  
Edward's tone was soothing. "It's okay, baby. Your dad is just...your dad."  
  
"He's infuriating!" Abigail shot back. "I mean, does he really have no idea? Can he really not see it at all?"  
  
"Well..." Edward was obviously choosing his words with great care. "Have any of you ever tried to talk to him? Force him to see it?"  
  
Abigail's sigh was deep. "We shouldn't have to, Edward. He should know! When Ruth doesn't come home for two years, he should know. When Eve stays out all night, he should figure it out." There was a pause. "We're the children. He's supposed to be the adult."   
  
"You always have your mom," he reminded her.   
  
His wife sniffed. "My mother is a saint."   
  
Amani took a breath and knocked while there was a break in the conversation. A second later, Edward opened the door. He smiled. "Can I help you with something, Amani?"  
  
She tried to return the smile. "'Tori leant Abby a blue hairclip. I was hoping I could steal it back for the party."   
  
In the background, Abigail stood up from the bed and wiped at her eyes. "Um...yeah. I think I know where it is. Give me a second."   
  
While Abigail began her search, Edward inspected the young girl at the door in an annoyingly adorable brotherly way. "What's with all the leg, little 'Mani?"  
  
Amani blushed and fingered the hem of her dress. "It's almost knee-length." She bit her tongue before she could inform him that his sister's dress for the evening was nearly three inches shorter than her own.   
  
Abigail came up beside her husband, the clip in her hand. "Don't listen to him at all, Amani. You look gorgeous."  
  
"Thanks," she mumbled, her blush growing deeper. She took the clip from Abigail. "See you later." Edward winked and closed the door, shutting it all the way. Amani released her breath. "What on earth was that all about?"   
  
****  
  
The Peacecraft Manor had been transformed into a winter wonderland. Everywhere Amani looked, she saw white lights, merrily sparkling. Two enormous and elaborately decorated Christmas trees greeted the guests in the main foyer. The house was spruce and ivy and yuletide warmth. Even the four tiered birthday cake in the parlor was decorated with sprigs of holly. Amani had to smile. All the winter decorations and the temperature outside was still in the mid-seventies.   
  
Victoria came up behind her and gripped her elbow. "I thought this was our birthday party. Why do I feel like I'm trapped in Santa's village?"  
  
"Your mother won the birthday party decoration war," Amani reminded her.   
  
"Only because no one decorates for Ramadan." Victoria pinched her friend's arm lightly.   
  
Amani put a hand to her heart at the mention of the Muslim fast month. "You know Daddy hasn't celebrated that in years." Just as his name passed her lips, Quatre and Trowa, along with Heero and Relena, climbed up the grand staircase until they were at a height suitable to be seen by all two hundred guests filtering through the foyer. All four parents were holding champagne glasses. "Oh..." Amani closed her eyes. "This doesn't look good."  
  
Victoria nodded. "I sense some major embarrassment coming straight for us."  
  
Quatre cleared his throat. "Excuse me. Can I have everyone's attention please?" The hum of the crowd died down as all eyes focused on the staircase. Quatre smiled. "Thank you all for coming...friends and family. Tonight is a very special night for two very special girls." He paused. "Eighteen years ago, Trowa and I received the most precious gift imaginable. She has been the light of our lives ever since. Our baby girl, Amani Na'ilah Barton." There was a smattering of applause and all around her, Amani could feel gazes swinging her way.  
  
Victoria snickered. "It could be worse, 'Mani."  
  
"How could it be worse?" Amani asked, mortified.   
  
"Well..." Victoria thought hard. "Okay, I lied."  
  
When the applause died, Quatre continued. "Now that I've thoroughly embarrassed my daughter, it's Heero's turn." There was light laughter as Relena gave her husband a gentle nudge.   
  
Amani's frown suddenly turned upside down. She gave Victoria a smirk. "Oh how the tables have turned."  
  
Victoria clenched her fists. "Please, Daddy....don't embarrass me...please, Daddy...."  
  
Heero's face was tight as he raised his champagne glass. "Happy Birthday, Victoria and Amani."  
  
His daughter's shoulders relaxed. Amani sighed. "So unfair. Why can't my dad be monotone?"  
  
Just then, a hand clamped down onto Amani's bare shoulder. Instinctively, she spun around. Ben smiled at her as some of the shock wore off. "Sorry, didn't mean to startle you."   
  
She licked her lips. "It's all right."   
  
Ben pulled his sister into a hug. "Happy birthday, brat-child."   
  
Victoria protested. "Watch the hair!" When he refused to let go, she relaxed into the embrace. "Thanks, bakayaro."   
  
He lifted his chin at Amani. "And a happy birthday to you, too, Amani."   
  
Her return smile was weak. "Thank you." In the parlor, the string quartet began to play. Amani shook her head. "I thought we were getting a deejay."  
  
Ben adopted a highly amusing society matron's tone. "A deejay? In the Peacecraft Manor? I don't think so." Victoria snickered. He glanced into the parlor where couples were already beginning to dance, including his mother and father. His gaze returned to the birthday girls. "What do you say?"  
  
Amani blinked. "To what?"  
  
"Do you want to dance?"  
  
She looked to Victoria, who nodded encouragingly. After taking a breath, Amani accepted his out-stretched hand and they blended into the crowd.   
  
Victoria propped her hands up on her hips. "One mission for the evening complete." Her eyes danced around the various faces until she spotted Lin and Adam near the staircase. Squeezing through the people, she started towards them. It was only when she got closer that she could pick up pieces of their conversation. And as she got very close, she realized that the boys weren't talking. They were arguing.   
  
"...all I want you to do," she heard Lin say to his boyfriend. "It's not that big a deal."  
  
Adam looked down at the marble floor. "I want to. I really, really do. But it's not as simple as you're making it seem."   
  
"It's just a dance!" Lin declared. "Are you ashamed to be seen dancing with me?"  
  
"Of course not," Adam quickly replied. "It's just...I mean, my dad might see us...." He raked his fingers through his hair. "You know how he feels about..."  
  
Victoria could see Lin's face fall. "So. You won't dance with me? In public?"  
  
Adam discreetly felt for Lin's hand. "Tonight...at the beach. I'll make it up to you, Lin, I swear."  
  
Lin cursed in what Victoria assumed to be Chinese. "It's a good thing I love you, Adam. Most guys wouldn't put up with this from someone who came onto them once upon a time. You did make the first move in this relationship. Or don't you remember?"  
  
"I remember." Adam leaned towards Lin. "I could never forget."   
  
"Adam!" Hilde's voice carried through the hum of the crowd. "Adam...where are you?"  
  
From a few feet away, Victoria watched as Adam stepped away from his boyfriend. "I'll be back." After another second, he walked away. Lin slumped against the staircase and Victoria took the opportunity to approach him.   
  
"I don't suppose you'd feel like dancing with one of the birthday girls?"  
  
Lin closed his eyes. "I'm afraid I wouldn't be very good company right now."   
  
She took his hand, lightly squeezing his fingers. "I understand. But later, okay?"  
  
He opened one eye. "Okay. Later, then." As she started to leave, he called out to her. "Victoria. Thank you."   
  
Heero's daughter blew him a kiss. "Anytime."  
  
In the next room over, a battle of silence was being waged. It was a war that Amani had started by accepting Ben's offer of a dance, but refusing to speak to him as they waltzed. The Yuy in Ben jumped to the challenge, fighting back with an endless bout of chatter.   
  
"It's not that I don't like chemistry. But biology is so much more practical. Bloodier, too." Without taking a breath, Ben continued, "Yeah, I am still a little kid. I like to cut things open and see how they work. I've just moved from model planes to dead rats. Kind of a difference, but who knows? I mean, maybe I'll be at med school someday like Thomas. That'd make Dad happy. Mom still wants me to go into politics. I'm smarter than that, though; I see what she goes though. That's not going to be me. Unless Victoria, Celeste or Ana decide to follow in Mom's footsteps, the Peacecraft political legacy dies here and...."   
  
"Ben!" Amani looked up at him. "Do you ever shut up?"  
  
Her words failed to sting. He simply grinned at her. "Finally. She speaks."  
  
She lowered her head to hide her own smile. "I'm sorry. It's just..."   
  
"This morning?" he guessed. Amani nodded ever so slightly. "I meant to bring that up eventually." Ben tipped her chin up. "I wanted to apologize. I was...kind of a jerk."  
  
"You don't have apologize to me," she murmured. Shaking her head, she brushed the topic away. "But if you insist...it's forgiven and forgotten."   
  
Ben nodded. "Good. I don't like it when you're mad at me, 'Mani."  
  
She was about to reply when she felt a tap on her shoulder. It was Eve...with a less than saintly look in her eyes. Duo's daughter smiled coyly. "Can I cut in?"  
  
Amani's mouth opened as she took in Eve's strapless black leather dress. Had Duo seen it? If he had, why hadn't he thrown a blanket over his youngest child yet? She glanced at Ben who, like a normal, warm-blooded male, was also taking in Eve's outfit...but with a much different look in his eye. Amani's throat constricted. "Sure," she replied softly. Her hands fell away as she stepped back from Ben. "Have fun."   
  
Ben blinked. "Amani! Wait!" But she had already disappeared into the crowd.   
  
Eve quickly filled Amani's spot, not so discreetly placing Ben's hand on her lower back. She entwined her fingers with his. "Let her go," she told him. "Dance with me."  
  
He looked down at her as she moved his arms where she wanted them. "I don't get you, Eve. I thought we both agreed that there wasn't anything between us."  
  
"We did..." Eve drawled.  
  
"So, what the hell are you doing?"  
  
Eve faltered, but only for a brief second. Licking her lower lip, she peered up at him from behind her thick eyelashes. "I've missed you, Ben. Sometimes, I wake up in the middle of the night thinking about how you felt..." She played with the collar of his dress shirt. "...inside me."  
  
"Shit..." he whispered under his breath. "We never should have done that."  
  
"But we did," Eve reminded him. "And you liked it. Hell....you loved it. As a matter of fact, I think...you'd like to do it again."  
  
Ben's eyes were suddenly sad. "You're wrong, Eve. It was a mistake I never should have made. And one I'd never repeat."  
  
His words could not have affected her more if he had accentuated them with a slap across her face. Her expression turned stone cold. "You're a fucking liar, Ben," she said in a low voice. After a quick glance below his waist, she turned her narrow eyes back up at him. "Or is that hard-on not for me?" Ben looked away. There was a long pause. "It would repulse her, you know."  
  
Ben snapped his head back around. "You don't know a goddamned thing, Eve."   
  
"I don't?" She laughed. "Are you blind? She's as virginal as they come, Ben. The only thing that's been between her legs is..."  
  
"Just because she doesn't spread them for everyone, that doesn't make her a prude," he hissed.   
  
Eve pretended to ignore his words. "You'll only end up hurting her. That is why you haven't made a move yet, isn't it? 'Cause the Ben Yuy I know doesn't ever wait this long for a piece of ass. He doesn't have to."  
  
"Do you know what really makes you mad, Eve?" He gave her a cool smile. "She's not a piece of ass to me. But you...you were. And that gets under your skin, doesn't it?" He snaked an arm around her and pulled at the leather covering her backside. "It just makes you want to spit nails....because you know you'll never be more than a piece of ass....to anyone." Pushing her away, Ben stalked off, leaving her alone on the dance floor. But it was no more alone than Eve ever was.   
  
****  
  
Across the table, Victoria grinned at her best friend. "Ready?"  
  
Valiantly returning the smile, Amani nodded. "Ready."  
  
Together, the two girls took huge breaths and simultaneously expelled them across the top of their white-frosted birthday cake. All eighteen candles were easily extinguished and the guests around them began clapping.   
  
Quatre embraced his daughter. "Happy birthday, sweetheart. Have you forgiven me for the speech yet?"  
  
She nodded and rested her cheek on his shoulder for a minute. "I love you, Daddy. And Dad."   
  
Trowa hugged her other side. "We love you, too."  
  
Amani smiled upon seeing Victoria in a similar embrace with Heero and Relena. Her eyes closed when Quatre kissed the top of her head. During their short hug, someone had begun cutting the cake. A plate was thrust into Amani's hand along with a fork. She stepped away from her fathers and handed Trowa the plate. "I'm not hungry, Dad."   
  
Quatre frowned. "Are you okay, Amani?"  
  
Patiently, she nodded and willed her voice not to wobble. "I'm just....it's my feet. New shoes. I'm going to go sit down for a minute." Smiling, she limped away from the table.   
  
Victoria watched her friend go, puzzled at the fake limp. She didn't have time to dwell on it or go after Amani because at that moment, Duo pulled her into a hug. She had to return it; Duo had always been one of her favorite people in the world. "Hi, Mr. Duo."  
  
He shook his head. "I swear....where the hell did eighteen years go?"  
  
Relena's eyes were misty. "I keep asking myself the same thing." She reached out to touch a long curl of her daughter's hair.   
  
Duo sighed. "Seems like only yesterday she was five years old and trying to slide down the banister of that very staircase." He pointed into the foyer.   
  
Victoria flushed red. "What are you talking about?"  
  
She watched her father smile at the memory. "I had forgotten about that," Heero said. "Good thing you were there to catch her, Duo."  
  
"I have no memory of this," Victoria stated.   
  
Duo pulled back and bopped her nose. "Nearly cracked open that pretty little head, you did."  
  
"I was five," she reminded them. "I'm a lot older now."  
  
The adults didn't seem to hear her, so caught up were they in the past. Victoria sighed and walked away from the table. She needed to go after Amani anyways, she reasoned. And it wasn't as if she was going to convince her parents or any of the other adults that she was one of them now. To them, she would always be five.   
  
She was intercepted all of the sudden by Celeste. Her cousin had a worried expression on her face. "Have you seen my date?" she asked.  
  
Victoria lifted her shoulders. "Not for awhile. Did you lose him in the crowd?"  
  
Celeste bit her lip and nodded. "Should I be worried that I haven't seen Eve in awhile, either?"  
  
"Nah," Victoria replied, assuringly. "Even Eve wouldn't be that low."  
  
Her cousin raised an eyebrow. "You give her more credit than she deserves."  
  
Victoria snorted delicately. "Maybe." Her eyes scanned the crowd and landed on Thomas Maxwell. He caught the look, smiled and started towards her. Swallowing, she quickly looked back at Celeste. "I don't mean to give you the brush off, but Thomas is headed straight over here...what should I do?"  
  
Celeste's frown slipped into a sly grin. "Invite him to the bonfire tonight, that's for damn sure." She winked at her cousin. "I'll see you later. If you do see Andrew, tell him I'm looking for him."   
  
She nodded nervously as the other girl moved off. Thomas was getting closer. Taking a deep, calming breath, Victoria smoothed her dress down and shook her hair over her shoulders. She quickly plastered a smile onto her face.   
  
Thomas approached her smoothly. "How's the birthday girl?"  
  
"Fine!" she squeaked. Coughing, she lowered her tone a few octaves. "I'm having a good time. It's a great party."  
  
He gave her a suspicious look. "So why aren't you dancing?"  
  
Victoria spread her hands. "Well...no one's asked me to."  
  
"Pure outrage." Thomas grasped her hands. "Guess it's up to me then, kiddo."   
  
She gritted her teeth at the nickname. "You don't have to..." But they were already waltzing. She relaxed into the dance, as much as she could when his hand was on her waist. After a few minutes of silence, she worked up enough nerve to speak. "So...a bunch of us are going to the beach after the party. Bonfire. I don't suppose you'd want to come?"  
  
Duo's son contemplated her offer. "Well, Abby and Edward invited me to play poker..."  
  
"Oh, never mind then." Victoria swallowed her disappointment. "I understand."  
  
"...but we can play anytime. It's been a long time since I've been to a bonfire." Thomas gave her a friendly wink.   
  
It took almost all of her effort not to jump up and down. "All right. Well..." She curled her fingers over his shoulder as they danced. "Would you mind bringing the alcohol, then?"   
  
He shook an amused finger at her. "You shouldn't be drinking, kiddo."   
  
Victoria's mood plummeted. "I'm not a kid," she mumbled. The music and the crowd were too loud. He didn't hear her.   
  
****  
  
Amani wiped a leftover tear from her eye. Sniffing, she stood up from patio swing who's solace she had sought. There were very few guests around the pool; most of them were couples, lost in the magic of the starry evening. Looking at them was painful. Shaking her head in self-disgust, Amani stood up. She couldn't avoid the party forever.   
  
But the night had different plans for her. Rather than heading towards the lights of the house, her feet took her down the wide stone steps that lead into the gardens. The manor's gardens had always been one of her favorite spots on earth; one could very easily lose themselves for an hour or two amidst the flowers and fountains. And lost was exactly how Amani wanted to be.   
  
It was too bad that Eve was well aware of Amani's love for the gardens. The long haired temptress found her former best friend ten minutes later, sitting on the edge of a small fountain, staring at her reflection in the moon-lit water. She glanced at her reason for being out in the gardens as he quickly returned to the party, fastening his pants as he walked. Rather than the triumphant feeling she usually had after a conquest such as Andrew, Eve was immediately reminded of Ben's words on the dance floor. How he had protected the girl by the fountain in a way no one had ever bothered to protect her. A plan filled her mind. It was time for her and Amani to talk.  
  
Eve watched her for a long minute before making her presence known. There was nothing more sickening, she figured, than the way the girl's blond hair shone in the moonlight. The way she held her knees together like a convent postulate. The way her arms hugged her body as though she were cold in the warm night air. Biting the inside of her mouth, Eve cleared her throat.   
  
Amani's head jerked up. "Who's there?"   
  
She stepped out of the shadows. "Just me."   
  
"Hello, Eve," Amani said politely. None of her initial apprehension faded.  
  
Eve returned the cool smile. "Happy birthday." The other girl accepted her words with a nod. Eve came closer, her thigh-high leather boots crunching over the gravel path surrounding the fountain. "What are you doing out here all by your lonesome?"  
  
"Just thinking." Amani dipped her fingers into the cool water.   
  
"About anyone in particular?" A reply never came. Eve took this as an invitation to sit down. "You wouldn't be thinking about Ben, now would you?"  
  
Amani shook water off her fingertips. "Why would you care?"  
  
"I didn't say I did."   
  
"Look..." She fidgeted on the fountain's stone lip. "I know you like Ben. And he seems to like you, too. I'm not a threat to you, Eve."  
  
Eve threw back her head and laughed to the stars. "You think I like Ben?"   
  
Amani's forehead crinkled. "Don't you?"  
  
"Oh, Amani..." Eve touched her cheek. "Naive little Amani. I don't like Ben. I mean, he's a great fuck, but that's really about it."  
  
The entire evening was made for Eve when Amani's face instantly paled. "What?"  
  
Eve adopted a look of concern. "I'm sorry, I thought you knew. It was just one of those things. I was too young to know any better. I suppose you could say he took advantage of me, but I wasn't complaining." She smiled dreamily. "Trust me...he knows what to do in bed. Or in a hot tub. I'd imagine Ben could do it just about anywhere."   
  
Amani couldn't think of a single thing to say.   
  
"I am not after Ben," Eve stated. "We had our fun....lots of it, but it's over now. At least, that's what I keep telling him. I hope he'll get the hint someday." She sighed and adjusted the top of her dress. "If you want him, you're more than welcome to him. I only hope you're ready for what he'll expect of you. He's not out to hold your hand, if you know what I mean."  
  
Finally, Amani blinked. "I don't believe you."  
  
Eve shrugged carelessly. "Suit yourself. Just don't say I didn't warn you." She stood up and gave Amani a parting smile before slinking back into the shadows.  
  
A fresh tear slipped down Amani's cheek. "I don't want to believe it," she told the moon. The moon only offered its light; it had no answers.  
  
****  
  
By the time Amani had worked up the nerve to return to the party, it was practically over. Victoria accosted her as she entered the foyer. "Where the hell have you been?! I was worried about you!"  
  
"I took a walk," Amani replied, listlessly. "I didn't realize I was gone so long."  
  
Her best friend sighed and put her hands on the hips of the shorts she had changed into. "Ah well...anyways, we're free to go now. The guys are packing the cars and everyone else is changing. So, hurry up."   
  
Amani blinked. She had forgotten all about the bonfire. "I don't know if I want to go anymore."  
  
"Of course you do," Victoria assured her. "Especially since Eve has decided *not* to grace us with her presence." The corners of Amani's lips turned up, despite the mention of the other girl. "I knew that would get you." She pushed the blond towards the stairs. "Go. Quickly."  
  
After Amani had dutifully disappeared up the stairs, Victoria glanced around the foyer. Thomas walked in from the direction of the kitchen, juggling four bottles of wine. "Is this enough, kiddo?" he asked her.  
  
Victoria fought back a retort at the cursed nickname. "It's great. Thanks. I'll grab some plastic cups." Spinning on her heel, she headed for the buffet table. Celeste and Andrew were in the corner of the room, in a deep, heated discussion. Victoria quickly snagged the cups and dashed back out.   
  
Jade approached her. She had abandoned her Mandarin collared party dress in favor of jeans and a t-shirt. "I can take those out to the car," she offered.   
  
"Thanks." Victoria dumped the load into the younger girl's arms. As soon as Jade was gone, her parents approached her. Heero carried a sleeping Anastasia. "We'll be gone in a minute, Mom," Victoria said. "And I promise, we'll be quiet when we come back."  
  
Relena kissed her daughter's forehead. "Just be careful, sweetie. Don't let anyone go swimming. Make sure someone responsible starts the bonfire. Don't..."  
  
"Have fun," Heero ordered. Taking his wife's hand, he started up the stairs before she could toss anymore warnings their daughter's way. Victoria gave her dad a grateful look.   
  
Celeste and Andrew emerged from the parlor, holding hands. Whatever the problem, they had evidently worked it out. For that, Victoria was grateful. Her cousin deserved to be happy.   
  
Ben appeared in the doorway, still clad in his tuxedo, minus the bow tie. "The cars are ready to go. Where are the people to fill 'em?"  
  
"They're coming," his sister replied. "Keep your shirt on. Please."  
  
He was about to reply when something stopped him. His gaze turned up and Victoria could have almost sworn that a blush spotted his cheeks. She turned to glance at the stairs, overwhelmingly pleased to see that the source of her brother's speechlessness was Amani, newly clad in a short, cotton sundress. She descended the stairs with every bit of her natural grace. But her hazel eyes failed to meet Ben's. In fact, she went straight for Victoria, ignoring Ben altogether.   
  
"Are we ready?" she asked her friend.   
  
Ben mentally pinched himself. "Yeah. Let's go." He addressed his sister. "Get everyone out here. We leave in ten."   
  
When he was gone, Amani released a pent-up breath. Victoria's eyes narrowed. "What happened tonight?" she demanded to know.  
  
Amani looked down at her sandals. "'Tori...did Ben have sex with Eve?"  
  
Victoria hesitated. The question was so sudden and yet, not unexpected. Hating to lie to her best friend, she nodded. "Yeah. A few years ago." Amani nodded so calmly that she was forced to continue. "But it was all Eve's idea. She caught him out in the hot tub and...well...he's only human."  
  
"He didn't...instigate it?" Amani asked after a long minute.   
  
"No way," Victoria answered firmly. "Who told you that he did?"  
  
Amani smiled her first genuine smile of the conversation. "No one who matters." Adam and Lin walked past them, hand in hand, headed for the cars. "Come on." She pulled on Victoria's hand. "Let's go."  
  
****  
  
An hour later, Amani found herself alone again, this time a good ways away from the heat and noise of the bonfire. She had scouted out a secluded sand dune and now sat on a warm blanket, sipping a cup of wine and watching the stars in peace.   
  
She wasn't to remain alone for long.  
  
"You looked great tonight."   
  
Amani didn't need to turn around to see who it was talking to her. "Thank you, Ben."  
  
Without waiting for an invitation, Ben sat down next to her on the blanket. A breeze swept over them, carrying the scent of her hair his direction. He breathed in deeply. Some sort of flower. "What kind of shampoo do you use?"  
  
He thought he heard her chuckle, but it was hard to tell over the sound of the crashing waves. "What?"  
  
"I was just...curious." Ben looked down at the drink in his hands. "So...how are your classes this..."  
  
"Green Tea Harmony." Amani turned her head and smiled at him. "My shampoo."   
  
"Oh." He returned the smile. "I like it."   
  
A minute of silence passed. From down the beach, Amani could hear Celeste's laughter as she, Andrew and Jade frolicked in the surf. "Was there something you wanted, Ben?"  
  
If she had looked closely, she would have seen hurt flicker in his eyes. "Do I have to want something to talk to you, Amani?" When she said nothing, he sighed. "Look....whatever I did to make you mad at me again..."  
  
"It's nothing you did. This time." Amani looked down at the plastic cup in her hand, still full of wine. "I can't be mad at you for...." She stopped.   
  
"For what?"  
  
Amani swallowed. "For things that happened in the past."   
  
Ben turned his cup around in his hands. "Have you been talking to Eve?" She lowered her head and nodded. "What did she tell you?"  
  
"Everything." Amani drank deeply as though the alcohol could wash away the bitterness in her voice. "She spared no detail."  
  
"She was wrong to do that," he said quietly.   
  
"But..." She looked at him. "She wasn't lying."  
  
Ben slowly shook his head. "No. She wasn't." Silence overtook them again. "Look, I don't make any apologies for what happened between Eve and I. It was a long time ago when we were different people. And it was a mistake; if she doesn't realize it..." He drank. "...at least I do."   
  
Amani nodded. "Thank you for not denying it." She laughed. "What am I saying? You'd have every right to deny it, if you wanted to. It's not like you owe me anything."   
  
"Maybe I should owe you something."   
  
A wave crashed onto the shore, followed by a loud shriek of laughter. "What do you mean by that?" Amani asked.   
  
"I don't know." Ben looked down at the liquid in his cup. The edges of his mind were numbing, lost to the familiar warmth of alcohol. "Maybe I'm just wondering why I'm sitting next to a pretty girl and yet I can't even make the first move."   
  
Amani shook her head. "Because you know it wouldn't do you any good? I'm not...one of your girls, Ben. I won't be won that easily. If you want me..." She swallowed. "You're going to have to realize that."   
  
"Amani..." He dug his fingers into the cold sand. "I know."  
  
"So, I guess the question is, do you want me or Eve?" Their eyes met. "Do you want me, Ben?"  
  
****  
  
Much further down the beach, hidden from sight by a gentle sand dune, Lin threw back his dark head as Adam's lips traveled down his toned stomach. "Adam..." he whispered. "What are we doing here?"  
  
His boyfriend lifted his head. "Don't you want this?"  
  
Lin took a deep breath to clear his mind. "It's a really big step. I just want to be sure that we're both ready."   
  
Adam frowned. "Okay....that sounds like stalling to me."   
  
"Come on, Adam." Lin ran a hand through his hair. "You know me better than that."   
  
"I just..." Adam kissed his puckered nipple, tasting the salt of the ocean air on Lin's skin. "I want to make love to you."   
  
"Why?"  
  
The simple question made Adam's blood run cold. He sat up. "'Why?'"  
  
Lin looked up at his boyfriend. "Yes. Why?"  
  
Adam blinked, as though he had never even considered the question. "Because....I love you, Lin." His throat constricted. "Don't you believe that?"  
  
"I do," the Chinese boy assured him. He sighed deeply. "I guess I'm just....afraid."   
  
"God..." Adam looked up at the blanket of stars. "Why are you afraid? It's me, Lin. It's just me. How can you be afraid of me?"   
  
Lin shook his head against the sand. "I'm not afraid of you, Adam. I love you. But..." He took a breath. "You can't even dance with me in public. So...is this real for you? Real enough for you to stand up to your father and say 'Dad...I'm gay'?"   
  
Adam shook his head. "He already knows."   
  
"He knows because he's seen us. Not because you've told him." Lin touched his arm gently. "When are you going to tell him....this isn't just a fling?"  
  
"Oh, it's so easy for you to say! If your dad were...." He stopped. "Would you be able to tell him the same thing?"  
  
Wufei's son looked off to the side for a long minute. "Probably not. Am I being hypocritical?"  
  
"Just a little."   
  
Lin nodded. "So, what happens if we have sex? Does it make things easier or harder?"   
  
"I've never heard of sex making anything easier, Lin." Adam lifted an eyebrow before lowering his lips to Lin's. Their kiss was deep and sweet. "It only makes things more fun."   
  
His boyfriend brushed a lock of his chestnut hair out of his eyes. "You want your dad's blessing, don't you?"  
  
Adam blinked back hot tears. "Doesn't matter what I want. He's never going to give it to me."   
  
"You don't know that. He could..."  
  
"I know my dad, Lin." Adam's voice lifted, uncharacteristically. "Much better than you do. Okay?" He sniffed, breaking the moment of silence that followed his outburst. "Look, do we fuck or not?"   
  
Overwhelmingly hurt by his words, Lin pushed away the hand that reached for the top of his pants. "Not a goddamn chance in hell." He got to his feet and stalked off. Adam didn't try to stop him. He told himself that he didn't care, but the tears streaming down his cheeks gave him away.  
  
****  
  
"Do I want you?" Ben repeated. "Wow...talk about a loaded question."  
  
"I didn't mean...." A blush, visible even in the poor light from the distant fire, stained her cheeks. "All I meant was..."  
  
Ben shook his head. "I think I know what you meant. I'm just trying to figure out....how to answer." He took a sip of his drink. "First of all...no. I don't want Eve. I was seventeen when I had sex for the first time. Eve was the first. Having sex that young...with someone like Eve, it makes a guy...cocky, I guess would be the right word. I spent the next year or so trying to recapture that feeling. Does that make any sense?"  
  
"No," Amani replied honestly. "But go on."  
  
He laughed. "There you go, doing it again. You never lie to me, Amani. You're the only girl I've ever met who doesn't play games."  
  
"I don't believe in games."  
  
"And I've never learned how to deal with a girl without playing them."  
  
Amani rested her chin on her knees. "I'm not a tough person to figure out, Ben. When I feel something for someone, I show them. And I'm not a mind reader, so I'm only aware of other people's feelings when they show me." She paused. "I might not be as gorgeous as your sister or as lively as your cousin...or as sexy as Eve, but I'm..."  
  
"Hey! What are you doing, putting yourself down like that?" Ben's tone was indignant. "Do you have any idea how wonderful you are? How alive?" He reached over and brushed a blond curl off her cheek. "How beautiful?" He winked. "And sexy?"  
  
The simple touch sent a shiver all the way down her spine. Her teeth chattered unwillingly. Ben frowned. "Are you cold?" he asked. Amani nodded. He shrugged out of the tuxedo jacket he hadn't changed out of after the party, and draped it around her slender shoulders. "There."   
  
Alcohol was making her head spin, but his lingering warmth on the heavy jacket and the faint trace of his cologne was much more intoxicating. "Ben," she began before she could stop herself. "If I asked you to do something for me...as a birthday favor....would you?"  
  
His smile was lop-sided. "Of course. Just name it."  
  
"Would you kiss me?"  
  
Heero's son blinked several times. "Okay." Closing his eyes, he leaned towards her.   
  
She covered his mouth with two fingers. "This can't be just any kiss you'd give any random girl, Ben. It'll be my first kiss ever."  
  
"Ever? Really?" Amani nodded. Ben took a breath. "I thought you had dated other guys."   
  
"My dads don't let me date, Ben. You know that." Amani glanced down at her half-finished drink. Anything to avoid that Prussian blue stare. "So, does this mean you won't do it?"  
  
"Are you crazy?" Ben calmly reached for her drink, setting it aside in the sand with his own. He took hold of her hand and twisted his body to see her better. She lifted her chin, bravely meeting his gaze. "Happy birthday, Amani," he said in a low voice. Cupping the back of her head in his hand, he leaned in for the kiss.  
  
From the first touch of his lips on hers, Amani was convinced that no matter how many other people she might kiss in her life, this would be the only kiss that could ever possibly matter. He was warm and gentle, making no demands. When his tongue slipped into her mouth, she greeted it with her own, thrilling at the new sensation. Taking the intiative, she deepened the kiss.  
  
She tasted like the wine they had been drinking, but there was another flavor on her lips. Peaches from her lip gloss? He wasn't sure. Maybe it was just the taste of innocence. Whatever it was, it was bringing down every resolve he had against falling in love with this girl. He had never felt this way before with anyone. The feeling that, although he would love to do more someday, he could be perfectly content just being allowed to be near her.   
  
They pulled apart, not because either wanted to, but because the kiss was becoming almost too intense. As they caught their breath, they stared at one another with matching looks of complete awe. Amani was the first to speak. "Now I know what Eve was talking about."   
  
Ben shook his head. "That wasn't anything like it was with Eve." He stroked her cheek. "I've never kissed or been kissed like that before." Amani opened her mouth, but he placed his index finger against her lips. "Do we have to talk about Eve?"  
  
She laughed. "I suppose not." Her hand covered his on her cheek. "Kiss me again? Not because I asked you to, but because you want to."  
  
"I never do anything I don't want to, Amani." Ben shifted until he was right up against her. Ever so gently, he guided her down onto the blanket. She let him, knowing that he would never hurt her or push her too far. It simply wasn't in his nature.   
  
Minutes passed like sweet hours. With Ben's arm cushioning the base of her skull, Amani held onto his broad shoulders as they kissed, breaking occasionally only for air. The kisses grew more passionate; before Amani was quite aware of it, he was on top of her, supporting his weight with one knee between her legs. A completely unfamiliar thrill shot through her lower body. Unconsciously, she moved her hips, bumping his groin ever so lightly.  
  
Ben suddenly seemed to be aware of this change in position. He reluctantly pulled back. "Amani...I'm sorry. I didn't realize we were..."  
  
She caught her breath, surprised at the disappointment that came simply from not feeling his warm body over hers. All the rational parts of her mind were relieved that he had stopped things. Who knew how far they could have gone. But...as she looked up at his clouded blue eyes, dark with desire, every rational thought left her. All she wanted was to hold onto him for what might be their one moment together. Everything she had been taught was wrong seemed right. Conversely, everything she thought was right, seemed wrong. And she was in no position to want to sort it all out.  
  
Her arms pulled him back down for another kiss. "If we do this..." she whispered. "Will you be sorry in the morning?"  
  
He swallowed heavily. "No. What about you?"  
  
She shook her head. "What do you think I wished for on my candles?"  
  
Ben took her lips in a hungry kiss. There was something so incredibly right about being with Amani. He felt none of the hesitation or nagging pangs of guilt that he had felt in the hot tub with Eve. Before he was incapable of reason, he fumbled around in the tuxedo jacket they lay on until he found the little package he had put there earlier on a whim.   
  
"And you're sure?" He looked down at the beautiful girl underneath him, her blonde hair spread out over the plaid blanket. "This isn't too quick for you? First kiss, first..."   
  
It was Amani's turn to put a finger to his lips. "You only live once."   
  
"Now that depends on who you ask."   
  
She smiled, then became serious again. "My whole life, I've tried to do the right thing. Maybe for me, maybe for my fathers." A small tear ran down from the corner of her eye. "Maybe for my mother." Amani's eyes closed as Ben kissed the tear's shiny path. "Somewhere along the way, I forgot to live. Right now, I'm living. And you've always been a part of my world, Ben. I've known you my whole life. So, no....this isn't too quick for me. It's just right."   
  
Ben pressed a kiss into the hollow at the base of her throat. "I'll make it wonderful, Amani. I promise."  
  
"I know." Amani looked up at the stars as his kisses trailed across her collarbone. "I know you will."  
  
****  
  
"Look at the stars." Victoria hugged her slender arms around her chest. "They're so...amazing."  
  
Thomas glanced up briefly at the heavens. "I do like seeing them from Earth. It's different than seeing them from space."   
  
She glanced over at him. "Which do you like better? Earth or space?"  
  
"Good question." Duo's oldest son sat down on very top of the sand dune. "I suppose Earth. I did choose to live here, after all."  
  
Victoria looked down at him, unable to see much in the darkness. "You sound so sad when you say that. Like you didn't want to make that choice, but you had to."  
  
Thomas laughed, a deep throaty sound that did the strangest things to Victoria's heartbeat. "I've always thought you had a sixth sense, kiddo."  
  
Scowling, Victoria dropped to her knees, facing off with the older man. "Do you have to call me that?"  
  
"What...kiddo?" She nodded. "I've always called you that," he said simply.   
  
"Well, I just think that now that I'm eighteen, maybe you could find another nickname for me."  
  
Thomas reached out and ruffled her hair. "All right. How about I call you 'baby' instead?"  
  
"Never mind." She moved around until she was sitting next to him, knees pressed to her chest. "I give up. You don't see me as an adult, my dad doesn't see me as an adult, your dad doesn't see me as an adult....I just give up!"  
  
"Hey..." He pinched her cheek lightly. "What's going on over there with you?"  
  
Victoria shook her head; the long strands of her hair swayed against her arms. "I just don't know what else I have to do before the people in this family take me seriously! I thought, maybe when I grew breasts someone might say 'wow...our little girl is growing up'. But no. Then I thought, surely when I turn eighteen.... Again, I was wrong. Because my dad still thinks I'm a child and your dad can't get past things I did when I was five and..." She stopped upon noticing him laughing. "What are you doing?"  
  
"I'm sorry," he managed to say.  
  
"You're laughing?! Why are you..."  
  
Thomas held up his hands, still laughing. "Kiddo, I'm sorry. It was just the breasts thing..." He laughed harder.   
  
"Oh, so you're saying you never noticed them??" Victoria cried. "That's just...that's just great!" She glanced down at her breasts. "No one ever notices them!!"  
  
"I noticed, I noticed." Thomas continued to laugh.  
  
Victoria jumped to her feet. "No, you're just saying that. And I can't believe you're laughing at me when I'm pouring out my..."  
  
He grabbed her hand. Although simply intending to keep her from walking away, he accidently tugged too hard and pulled her down. She fell quickly, landing on top of him and sending him sprawling to his back. They lay chest to chest, legs entwined for several awkward seconds. Finally, Thomas spoke. "I'm really noticing those breasts right about now."   
  
She scrambled to get off of him, but he put his arm around her waist. "I'm sorry," he continued. "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. I know you've grown up, ki...Victoria. I do." He smiled. "You've turned into quite a knockout, actually."  
  
"You're only saying that to placate me." Victoria sniffed. "You still see me at, like, eleven years old. Knobby knees and flat chest. Braces..." She made a face. "No wonder you don't find me attractive."  
  
There was a second's pause. "What makes you think I don't find you attractive?"  
  
Through the thin cotton of his shirt, she could feel his heart, almost beating in time with her own. Her breasts were pressed against his chest; her legs straddled his right thigh. He was looking up at her with a very serious, very intense violet stare. She swallowed. "Don't you think of me...as another sister? A little sister?"  
  
His hand which had been pressed against the middle of her back, trailed down to the soft curve of her lower spine. "I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to be thinking right now. I just know that I have *never* thought about Abby or Ruth or Eve like this. I've never wanted to hold them like this or know what it's like to press my lips to theirs..."  
  
"And....you'd want to do that to me?" Her voice was a whisper. He nodded in reply. "So...why don't you?"  
  
Long seconds of agony passed by as they watched each other. He ran his tongue over his lips, wetting them. Taking this as a sign, Victoria inched her face down closer to his, but before she could initiate the kiss, Thomas gently pushed her back up into a sitting position. "I can't, Victoria."   
  
She blinked. "What? Why?"  
  
Thomas ran a hand through his hair and took a slow, deep breath. "Because...it wouldn't be right. You're still just a..."  
  
"Kid," she finished, flatly. He looked off at the ocean. "I told you. Knobby knees and braces." Willing back hot tears, she struggled to her feet in the giving sand. "Well, thanks for the happy birthday memories, Thomas. See you around."  
  
As she walked back to the bonfire, Victoria let the tears fall. They were the only ones, she decided, that she would shed for Thomas Maxwell.   
  
****  
  
Ben lifted himself up over Amani's breathtaking, naked figure. Her eyes were closed; she was still lost to the pleasure he had just given her. He touched her cheek, wanting her to open those gorgeous hazel eyes...wanting to be in her soul as much as he was inside her body. He kissed her softly, lovingly.   
  
"Amani..."  
  
Her eyelids fluttered open. Her swollen lips curved up in a deliciously contented smile. "Wow," was all she said.  
  
He laughed and shifted their bodies until they were lying on their sides, face to face, still joined. Soft, curvy legs over hard, muscled. Ben pulled her even closer, never wanting to let go. "Are you all right?"   
  
She sighed happily and nodded. "That was quite a birthday present."  
  
"No regrets?" he asked, brushing damp strands of blond hair off her face.   
  
"None." Amani nestled her cheek into his chest. "It was amazing. I've never felt so..." She searched for the right phrase. "Allah...I don't even know how to say it. Filled? Complete?"   
  
He pressed his lips against her forehead. "Thank you."   
  
"For what?"  
  
Ben rubbed his chin against her soft, blond locks. "You let me be the first. You trusted me enough. No one else ever..." He stopped. "So, thank you."  
  
The post-coital bliss was broken suddenly by someone shouting their names. Victoria, it sounded like. Maybe Celeste. Ben pulled out of her body and sat up quickly. "Damn," he cursed. "If we don't go, they'll come looking for us." As Amani began to dress and put herself back together, he quickly disposed of the used condom, taking no note of an ever so small tear in the latex.   
  
He pulled his clothes on quickly and gathered up the blanket. They held hands as they walked back to join their friends.  
  
****  
  
Amani woke up in the middle of the night, strangely sore, but with a sappy smile of contentment on her face. She looked over at the other person in bed with her; Victoria's arms were tightly wrapped around her pillow and her mouth had fallen open in sleep.   
  
"Tori," Amani whispered.   
  
"Hn." Her friend stirred.  
  
"Tori...wake up."  
  
Victoria's head shot up. "What...what?"  
  
Amani smothered a laugh. Victoria's hair was hopelessly tangled, reaching halfway down her back. Her deep blue eyes were confused and half asleep. "I'm sorry," Amani apologized.   
  
"What's going on?"   
  
"Nothing." Amani propped herself up on one elbow. "Well, one thing. But...I'm not sure if I should tell you or not."  
  
Victoria sat up and rubbed her eyes. "You woke me up at..." She glanced at the clock. "...five-thirty in the morning to tell me that you can't tell me something?"  
  
"When you put it like that..."  
  
"Mani. It's me. You've always told me everything." Victoria yawned. "And whatever it is, it can't be *that* big a deal."  
  
Amani squeezed her eyes shut. "I had sex with Ben."  
  
A long minute of silence passed. "What?" Victoria twisted around to see her best friend better. "What did you say?"  
  
"On the beach. We...you know." Amani flushed bright red. "We made love."  
  
Victoria's eyes were huge and wide awake. "Oh my god....oh my god!!!" She put her hands on Amani's shoulders. "Are you all right? What happened? Give me details! No, wait, don't. He's my brother. You had....I can't believe you...with my brother???"  
  
"I'm fine, I promise. A little sore but..." Amani took a breath. "I don't know exactly what happened, Tori. We were talking and then I asked him to kiss me and it was so wonderful and the next thing I knew, he was undressing me and..."  
  
"Okay, okay. I can figure it out from there." Victoria bit her lip. Amani knew what she was going to ask before she even asked it. Because she knew she'd ask the same thing if she were in Victoria's place. "Did you like it?"   
  
Amani had to smile. "It was...amazing. You know all that stuff about it hurting? Well, it does, but not for long. Maybe it was just because of Ben, though. He was so...unbelievably gentle."   
  
"I...I don't even know what to say," Victoria breathed. "Wow." A shadow fell over her pretty features. "I guess that just leaves Jade and me. The last virgins on earth."   
  
"There's always Cele..." she began. Victoria shook her head. Amani put a hand to her mouth. "With Andrew?" Victoria nodded. "When?"  
  
"A week ago." Heero's daughter let out a tragic sigh. "I am going to die, untouched." She fell dramatically; her head landed in Amani's lap.  
  
Amani combed her fingers through Victoria's dark locks, gently undoing the tangles. "Come on, Tori. Don't be silly." She looked up at the ceiling to hide her smile. "What about Thomas?"  
  
Victoria's voice was flat. "What about him?"  
  
"You tell me."  
  
"There's nothing to tell. He's six years older than me and he can't get over it." She paused. "The only thing about me that he noticed had grown up was my breasts. And even that took him awhile." Victoria sat up and crossed her pajama-clad legs. "Tell me more about it. Just, let's change my brother's name to like...Ted or something."   
  
Amani laughed and embraced her oldest friend. "I love you so much, Tori." She pulled back. "All right. First of all, Be...Ted has the most amazing arms..."  
  
****  
  
Down the hall, in his childhood bedroom, Benjamin Yuy could not sleep. So many images kept flashing through his brain. Amani's face contorted in ecstasy...her tears as her virginity was lost. Eve in the hot tub, sly and feline. Demanding something from him that he shouldn't have given her. Amani appeared again, pliant and comfortable, curled up against him. He smiled in the dark. He wished she was right there with him. Not so they could have sex again, although he wouldn't say no if she suggested it, but just to hold her and breathe in that green tea scent from her hair.   
  
Ben kicked the covers off, hoping that the air outside the warmth of the blankets would cool the elevating temperature in his lower body. When his erection failed to go away, he got up, threw on a long sleeved t-shirt over his plaid pajama pants and padded downstairs.   
  
There was a faint, flickering blue light from the study. Someone was awake, watching television. Ben knocked softly before sliding the doors open. His older cousin, Edward, was lying on the couch with his daughter asleep on his chest. He put his finger to his lips, but motioned Ben in.   
  
"What's wrong with the small fry?" Ben whispered.  
  
Edward gently patted Emily's little back. "Your guess is as good as mine. Whatever was wrong with her, she's quiet now. And that's the important thing." He looked at his cousin, puzzled. "What are you doing up?"  
  
"Couldn't sleep." Ben sat down in an armchair facing the couch and crossed his arms over his chest.   
  
"Woman?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"There's only one thing that can keep a guy up at night. A woman. So, who is it?"  
  
Ben shook his head. "I'm not sure you want to know."  
  
"I'm sure I do now." Edward adjusted the heavily asleep Emily. "Is it Eve?"  
  
"Eve? What do you mean?" Ben squirmed uncomfortably. "What do you know about me and Eve?"  
  
Edward snorted. "Too much."  
  
"Does Abby know?"  
  
"I don't think so. But then...Abby and Eve aren't particularly close." Edward shook his head. "Come to think of it, Eve isn't particularly close to anyone."  
  
Ben sighed. "Whatever you know about me and Eve, just bear in mind that I was young, stupid and horny."  
  
Edward grinned. "And now you're older, smarter and...."  
  
"Still horny. Yeah, yeah, yeah."   
  
"Are you going to tell me what's going on or not, cousin?"  
  
Ben sucked in a huge breath and released it slowly. "I did something really bad." Edward lifted an eyebrow curiously and waited for him to continue. "I sort of...um...had sex with....um...Amani." His cousin's blue eyes nearly popped out of his sockets, but to his credit he managed to keep his mouth closed. "I know, I know," Ben continued. "Like I said....it's really bad."  
  
After a moment, Edward cleared his throat. "You regret it then?"  
  
"No. I mean...yes! I mean..." Ben buried his face in his hands. "I don't know what I mean. I don't regret it...but at the same time I do. I feel massively guilty and yet...it was what we both wanted." He looked up at his cousin with red-rimmed eyes. "What should I do, Edward?"  
  
Edward shook his head. "She's so young..."  
  
"She's eighteen," Ben countered.   
  
"Did you two talk? You know...after?"  
  
"A little bit. She said...she said she didn't regret it. I don't know..." He sat back. "What if she doesn't feel that way in the morning?"  
  
"Would you do it again?"  
  
"In a second."  
  
Edward laughed. Emily shifted, but didn't wake up. "Looks like you have your answer. You don't regret it. She probably doesn't regret it. You're both *legally* adults. What's the problem?" Ben looked off to the right. "Do you think that maybe....it meant something more to her than just sex? And maybe it didn't mean anything to you?"  
  
"It meant something," Ben replied, quietly. "I'm just not sure what."  
  
"I'd suggest you figure that out. Before you see her at breakfast." Edward stood up, carefully supporting his daughter's little body. "By the way," he said before he left the study. "You did use protection, right?"  
  
"Of course."   
  
Edward nodded. "Good." *At least you used some common sense tonight.* He left his cousin sitting in the dark, the blue light of the muted TV screen flickering across his face.   
  
****  
  
Amani nearly missed breakfast the next morning. She spent an extra forty-five minutes dressing, applying makeup and styling her hair. When she finally entered the dining room, only two people were still eating around the large table. Ben was not one of them. Smiling weakly, Amani slid into a chair between Adam and Celeste and reached for a banana.   
  
"Not hungry this morning?" Adam asked, hiding a smile behind a glass of orange juice.   
  
She carefully peeled her banana. "I'm eating, aren't I?" Taking a tiny bite of the fruit, she continued, "Where is everyone?"  
  
Celeste shrugged. "I just got here a minute ago. I think I had too much to drink last night."  
  
"And what did you have too much of last night, Amani?" Adam gently nudged her.  
  
Amani could feel her face becoming red. Swallowing, she stuck out her tongue at her old friend. "None of your beeswax." He laughed, but felt for her hand under the table, lightly squeezing her fingers.   
  
Lin appeared in the doorway. Amani felt Adam's hand grow clammy. The Chinese boy's eyes narrowed. Before Amani could move over to let him sit next to his boyfriend, Lin had grabbed a bunch of grapes and a cold pancake and was out the door. Adam's hand released hers.   
  
"All right." Amani set down her banana. "What's going on?"  
  
"Nothing." Adam slid his chair back. "Don't worry about it."   
  
Celeste watched him stalk out of the dining room. "Trouble in paradise." She shook her head sadly. Her curious gaze moved over to Amani. "Ben told me to tell you something."  
  
Amani choked on her banana, but quickly recovered. "Oh?"  
  
"He said that he had to run into town and, although he'll try, he probably won't be back before you all leave." Upon seeing Amani's troubled face, Celeste reached over and took her free hand. "Hey, listen. Don't let him get to you, Mani. He plays this game with everyone. Just don't get in over your head and you'll be fine."   
  
"Yeah..." Amani lower lip trembled. "Don't get in over my head." She set her breakfast aside, no longer hungry. "Do you know where my dad is?"  
  
"Which one?"  
  
"Either one! I don't care!!"  
  
Concerned at her outburst, Celeste gently patted her hand. "I think they're playing pool with Uncle Heero and Mr. Duo."   
  
Nodding, Amani stood up and left the table. She needed her daddies.   
  
Celeste took a thoughtful bite of her bagel after Amani had gone. Something had happened between Amani and her cousin the night before. Having recently given away her own virginity, Celeste had a sneaking suspicion what it might have been, judging by Amani's reaction. She sighed. If Ben did anything to hurt Amani, he would face the wrath of pretty much everyone, herself included. There wasn't a person alive, Celeste figured, who didn't love Amani.   
  
She smiled wickedly and wiped a bit of cream cheese from her lip. No wonder Eve had grown to hate her so much.   
  
At that exact second, as though she could almost read her oldest adversary's thoughts, Eve entered the dining room. Celeste gave her a cool smile. "Morning, Evie."  
  
Returning the smile with equal parts sugar and venom, Eve sat across from the blond girl and helped herself to some fruit and toast. "All alone, Celeste? Calculus boy didn't stay the night?"  
  
"Oh...that wouldn't have made my father *too* upset, really." Celeste smiled. "You see, Evie, *my* father actually cares about me."  
  
Years of practice kept Eve's face a mask of detachment. "He's a nice guy, Andrew." Her lips curled up. "Very nice."  
  
Celeste was immediately on guard. Recognizing the hinting in Eve's voice, she narrowed her crystal blue eyes. "Listen up, Evie darling. Lay a single dirty finger on what's mine and...."  
  
Eve licked strawberry juice off her thumb. "Those don't sounds like the words of someone who trusts their significant other. If he really was yours, you wouldn't have to threaten me."  
  
After a second's pause, Celeste shook her head, amused. "I keep trying to pinpoint exactly when you became the world's biggest bitch, Evie. And I've finally figured it out. You were just born that way. Adam got all the Maxwell genes for intelligence, class, and personality. All you got was the violet eyes." She stood up and blew Eve a kiss before leaving her alone in the dining room.  
  
****  
  
"How long are you going to keep ignoring me, Lin?"  
  
Staring out at the light rain drenching the lush gardens of the Peacecraft Manor, Lin ate a grape in silence.  
  
Adam walked around in front of him and put a hand on either armrest of the chair he was seated on. "Look...I'm sorry about last night. I swear...I really am. I was a dickhead."  
  
"Yes." Lin ate another grape. "You were."  
  
"You don't have to agree with me so readily."  
  
"What should I say then?" Lin calmly asked. "Should I try to take some of the blame on myself? Even if it wasn't my fault?"  
  
Adam looked straight into his boyfriend's blue eyes. "Last night was my fault. I pushed and I'm sorry. But the underlying issue here....it's not just me. You're part of the problem, too."  
  
"Oh, am I?" Lin threw the rest of his grapes to one side and stood up quickly. The boys stood face to face. "Tell me...what is this problem and just how am I part of it? 'Cause from where I'm standing, you're the one who's so insanely desperate for his father's approval, but doesn't have the balls to actually ask him for it!"  
  
"And you'll never be able to get your father's approval, so you're counting on *my* father's." Adam wasn't surprised when Lin pushed him away with more force and anger than he had ever seen in the normally calm Chinese boy. "That is the main problem."  
  
Lin turned on him, furious. "My dad is dead. I've dealt with it. How dare you use that as an excuse to justify..."  
  
Adam interrupted. "What do you want me to do, Lin?? March up to my father and say 'Dad, I'm gay'?"  
  
"It would be a start!!"  
  
Duo's son scowled. "Fine. If I do this, are we okay?" His anger faltered a bit. "I want us to be okay."  
  
"I suppose we'll just have to see."   
  
The boys stared at each other for another minute before Adam turned on his heel and marched back into the house. A bolt of lightning struck outside as he pulled open the study doors. His father, Heero, and Trowa were gathered around the pool table. Quatre sat on a small couch with Amani curled up next to him. Everyone looked up when Adam entered, shadowed by Lin.   
  
"Dad," Adam addressed Duo. He opened his mouth to speak. "I'm..." After a minute passed, he closed his mouth, turned on his heel and headed back the direction he came, barely brushing against Lin as he passed by him. Lin smiled weakly at the confused people in the study before turning and walking in the opposite direction from Adam.  
  
Duo blinked. "Did I miss something again?"  
  
****  
  
"Knock, knock?" Thomas rapped his knuckles lightly against Victoria's open bedroom door. She was sprawled across her bed on her stomach, writing in what looked like her diary. Her long legs were bent at the knee; ankles crossed in the air over her slender back. She looked up when she heard the knocking and scowled. He winced. "Ouch. If looks could kill..."  
  
Victoria returned her attention to her diary. "Was there something you wanted, Mr. Maxwell?" she asked, briskly.   
  
Without an invitation, Thomas entered her bedroom and gently closed the door behind him. It was not the first time he had been in this room, but it had been quite awhile. The last time he had been there, the walls were decorated with magazine clippings of the latest teen idols, pictures of all her friends, and other signs of adolescence. Now, the walls were practically bare with only a few large prints of several famous pieces of art (and one Monet that Thomas suspected was an original) and a framed portrait of her family. "I like what you've done with the place. It's very...simplistic."  
  
"Got tired of the clutter a year ago," she replied, without looking up. "Are you going to get around to the reason for this visit anytime soon?"  
  
Her words stung, but he pressed on. "As a matter of fact *Miss Yuy*, I came here to apologize."   
  
Curious, Victoria looked up. When she saw no overt signs of mocking on his handsome face, she put her pen in her diary and closed it up. "For what? You didn't do anything wrong last night, did you? You stopped, remember?"  
  
"I know what I did." Thomas looked down at the hard wood floor. "But I feel like I owe you an explanation." She waited for him to go on. "You were right last night when you said I still think of you as a child. When I got here, I expected you to be the same girl you were three years ago."  
  
"An annoying fifteen year old?"  
  
Thomas made a "so-so" motion with his hand. "You were never really annoying, Victoria. But I was twenty-one. When you were ten, I was sixteen. I'll always be six years older than you."  
  
"And I'll always be six years behind you. That's what you're really saying, isn't it?" Her voice was dull.  
  
"What I'm saying....and since I'm doing it so badly, I can't blame you for misunderstanding....is this." Thomas approached her bed. "We're at different places in our lives, Victoria. You're about to discover yourself and experience things in college that you never thought were possible. And I'm finally finding my stability, after having gone through all that experiencing. I don't want to hold you down." He reached for her hand. "I'm looking for someone who's at the same place I am. You need someone to experience life with. That's why it won't work between us, kiddo. I'm sorry."  
  
Her lower lip trembled, but she maintained her composure with a bravado that would have impressed even her father. "Are you done? Because I'd like to say something, too." Thomas nodded and waited until she had taken a long, deep breath. "First of all, you're a jerk. You led me on with all that stuff about finding me attractive and wanting to press your lips to mine and all that other moonlight bullshit you gave me."  
  
Thomas' violet irises sparked. "It was not bullshit. It was..."  
  
"The lamest attempt to get into my pants since Timmy Johnson asked me to play doctor in third grade," she finished for him. "If you really wanted what's best for me, you couldn't possibly stand there, feeding me rehearsed lines about separate places and experiencing life. It's been an eye-opening weekend for me, Thomas, and the one thing I've learned is that everyone else is already experiencing. And you're telling me to wait until I get to college? Well, I'm tired of waiting. I'm tired of playing the good child. If you don't want to help me experience life, I'll find someone else who will."   
  
She made a motion to roll off the bed, but Thomas stopped her by climbing onto it and using his extra height and weight to pin her down. Victoria struggled against him, but he held on, looming over her like the dark god his father often claimed to be. "You think it was bullshit? All those things I said?? Do you have any idea how much I want to grab you and..." He lowered his head to her shoulder. "God...I can't. I'm sorry!! Just...forget this." He released her wrists. "Find that other person, Victoria. You're way too good for me."  
  
Quickly, without thinking, only reacting, Victoria used every ounce of flexibility and dexterity that she had inherited from her father, and every bit of cunning and determination she had gotten from her mother, and reversed their positions until she was straddling his hips. "I have no idea what's wrong with you, Thomas. But I am not going to let you walk out here without at least trying to do something for you. Whatever's eating away at you, making you this bi-polar....tell me now, so I can fix it."  
  
His eyes were wet. "You can't fix me, baby. I got broken a long time before you stopped playing with your dolls."   
  
Instead of slapping him as she had the instantaneous desire to do, Victoria placed a hand on either side of his head and leaned down until her face was only inches above his. "Tell me about your childhood."  
  
Her tone was so serious, but her words were so comical that all Thomas could do was laugh. He was still laughing in fact, when Victoria kissed first one cheek and then the other. Her lower body slid along his as she stopped his laughter with a long, slow kiss. He let her, but made no motions to return the kiss. It was only when she started to nibble on his jaw and neck that he began to talk. "The last girlfriend I had disappeared in the middle of the night. The only thing she left was a note saying that I was completely fucked up and needed several years of therapy to deal with my father issues."  
  
"Father issues?" Victoria gave his ear a soft kiss.   
  
"Yeah, it was news to me, too." He closed his eyes when she began running her tongue along the edge of his earlobe. "But I went to the therapist anyways. After three sessions, all I learned was that my father has never gotten over losing Grace and the reason the rest of us are completely fucked up is because he hasn't ever told a single one of us that he loves us because he's afraid that loving us will kill us."   
  
Victoria sat up. "That's crazy. Mr. Duo loves you all very much." She ran a hand through his hair. "And you're not all fucked up."  
  
"Come on, baby. Open your eyes. What do you see when you look at the five of us? Edward asked Abby out for four years before she let herself believe that she was worthy of being loved. Ruth hops from country to country and job to job, only calling home to let us know she's not dead. I can't hold down a relationship with anyone for more than three weeks. Adam is gay, which I know is a life-style choice, but he can't even talk to Dad about it for fear of total rejection. And Eve..." He shook his head. "Don't even get me started on Eve. Needless to say, everything she's done since the day she was born was to get his attention."  
  
A tear slipped down Victoria's cheek. "He's really never told you that he loves you?"  
  
"Not since Grace died. I don't think Adam and Eve have ever heard it from him." Thomas shifted on the bed. "Mom says it all the time. But Dad...nothing. He's not a closed off person, Victoria. You know that yourself. I know my dad really well. But I couldn't tell you in no uncertain terms that he loves me."   
  
"I'm so sorry," she whispered. An image of her own father came to her mind. The last time he had told her he loved her; it had not been a momentous occasion, just one night Heero had knocked on her door before she got into bed. He had come in the room, kissed her forehead and said *you know I love you, right?*, to which she had nodded and returned the sentiment. She could not imagine existing without knowing her father's love. She bent down and placed a soft kiss on his lips. "I love you, Thomas. I always have."  
  
This time, he let himself kiss her back. Victoria rested her cheek on his chest and held onto him with all the feeling her slender body. He returned the tight embrace. "Right now...that's all I've got, kiddo."  
  
****  
  
The paved road sped by underneath the wheels of Edward's car. Ben stared at the road as he drove, but his eyes didn't really see anything. The images....the images wouldn't go away, no matter what he did. No matter how far away from the house he drove, he could not get Amani out of his mind. He could still feel her fingers intwined with his on the entire car ride from the beach back to the manor. When they had parted for the night, she had kissed his cheek so sweetly, yet it had set his blood on fire.   
  
He gripped the steering wheel so tightly that his knuckles began to turn white. He wanted her. Hell, he might even love her. But it would never work out between them. She was everything good. And he was the classic screw-up. He had never been anything else. He wasn't sure he knew *how* to be anything else. Why did she want him out of all the people in the universe? Why did she let him be the first? No one else had ever deemed him worthy of that. Eve certainly hadn't been a virgin, nor had any of the girls who came after her.   
  
Amani's voice was in his head. No matter how loud he turned up the radio, he couldn't drown it out. The words she had spoken to him while making love flooded his mind.  
  
**Please...I'm not afraid, Ben....I want this....I want you.** And at the height of passion, **I love you.**  
  
Ben's face scrunched up in agony. She had given him everything she had to give. She gave him the one thing she could never give to anyone else again. Amani had trusted him with her innocence and her heart and what had he done? Left before he had to see her in the morning. He hadn't even had the courage to look her in the eye. Her lovely, innocent eyes. He had been a coward.   
  
But it was too late to fix things now. Or was it? He glanced at his watch. She and her fathers would have to leave in half an hour to make it to the spaceport on time. If he, to put it bluntly, hauled ass, he could make it back to the manor in time to say goodbye to her. Maybe she would even let him kiss her. Or hold her. Anything. He itched to touch her. She was that addictive.  
  
Tires screeched and horns honked as Ben pulled an abrupt and rather dangerous U-turn, heading back to the manor as fast as he could.  
  
****  
  
"It's not fair," Victoria cried into Amani's blond hair. "You really won't be coming for New Year's?"  
  
Amani hugged her best friend tighter. "I don't think so. Dad wants an 'at home' holiday. And I just..." She choked back a sob. "It'll be too soon. I need a lot of time to...I don't know...recover, I guess."  
  
"I swear..." Victoria sniffed. "I am going to hit my brother so hard..."  
  
"It's not Ben's fault. I was there, too." Amani pulled back. "I'm not sorry it happened, Tori. I'm just sorry that it couldn't mean anything to him."  
  
Heero's daughter wiped a tear from Amani's smooth cheek. "After what he did...how can you forgive him so easily?"  
  
"Because." Amani lifted her shoulders. "I love him."  
  
Just then there was a knock on Victoria's bedroom door. Quatre poked his head into the room. "Amani, it's time to go."  
  
She nodded at her father. "I'm coming, Daddy." He nodded and left them. Amani turned back to her friend. "Please...don't say anything to Ben."  
  
"I won't," Victoria reluctantly promised. "But can I still hit him?"  
  
"Okay," Amani agreed easily. After a brief pause, the girls burst out laughing and flung their arms around each other for a long, final hug. Amani pulled away first. "Come on. Before I really lose it."  
  
Most everyone had gathered in the foyer to see the Maxwell's and Barton/Winner's off. Amani hugged each person in goodbye in turn. Everyone but who she most wanted to hold. There was no sign of him. Amani resigned herself to the facts. He wouldn't be coming. He didn't care. It had just been sex for him.  
  
He didn't want her.  
  
Eve approached her from behind. "Where's our boy?"  
  
Amani turned a cool eye onto the other girl. "The fact that you assume that you and I have absolutely anything in common is completely presumptuous, Eve."  
  
Duo's daughter smiled in the infuriating way she had. "Don't play in the big leagues if you can't stand getting hurt."  
  
"Spoken like a true professional, Evie." Celeste and Lin came to Amani's rescue. Narrowing her violet eyes, Eve stalked away. Celeste shook her head. "Don't even listen to her, Mani."  
  
Amani nodded and accepted hugs from both her friends. "Thank you."  
  
Lin's hug was particularly long. She felt him press a folded square of paper into her hand. He drew back and looked at the note, then back at her significantly. "Give it to him on the shuttle," was all he said.   
  
"Why don't you tell him whatever..."  
  
He cut her off. "Please." Amani gave in and nodded once more. As Lin moved off, her hazel eyes drifted across the foyer, past where Relena and Hilde were exchanging hugs. In the corner, near the parlor door, Victoria and Thomas were locked in a serious eye stare as they said their goodbyes. Thomas, while not returning to L2 with his family, would be heading back to school at the same time that they all left. Amani had to smile as Thomas tucked a long lock of Victoria's dark brown hair behind her ear. They were the perfect picture of a couple falling in love. Anyone could see it.   
  
And that anyone included Victoria's father. Amani stifled a giggle when Heero made a movement towards his daughter and Duo's son. He was held in check only by his wife's not-so-subtle grip on his forearm as she whispered words into his ear. Whatever Relena said worked. Heero left the couple alone. For the time being.  
  
Amani felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned around only to see her father. "Amani?" Quatre smiled. "It's time to go, baby."  
  
Brushing a stray tear from her eye before he could notice it, Amani picked up her carry-on bag and slung it over one shoulder. As she was the closest to the front door, she reached to open it for everyone. Just as her hand touched the brass door knob, it burst open, sending her stumbling backwards. Ben stepped inside the house to Amani's complete shock.  
  
"Are you all right?" he asked.  
  
She stared at him. He had come back. And he looked worried. She put a hand to her head in confusion. "Ben...?"  
  
He smiled sheepishly. "Sorry it took me so long. But I couldn't let you go without saying goodbye." In the grand foyer of the Peacecraft Manor, right in front of a crowd that included their parents, Ben reached for Amani and pulled her into a deep, long kiss.   
  
Amani could hear catcalls from Celeste, slightly shocked laughter from Lin and Victoria's faint applause, but none of the sounds stopped her from kissing him back. Not even the nagging thought that her father...fathers...were watching her could make her stop. It felt too good, too right to be in Ben's arms again. He pulled back first and winked at her. "Forgive me for being late?" he whispered.   
  
"I suppose." She gave him a radiant smile. "Just don't let it happen again."  
  
Quatre cleared his throat several times in rapid succession. "Amani..." he began before he felt Trowa's hand on his back. He looked at his lover.  
  
"It was bound to happen," was all Trowa said.   
  
Duo clapped Quatre on the shoulder, sympathetically. "Come on...we're gonna miss the shuttle." The goodbye hugs and well-wishing began all over again. No one noticed that Eve had slipped out to the cars alone without saying goodbye to anyone.   
  
Amani laid her cheek against Ben's chest. "I was starting to think that you didn't..."   
  
"I do. I'm sorry....I never wanted you to doubt last night. Because I sure don't." He tipped her chin up. "Will I see you at New Year's?"   
  
"I don't know," she replied, honestly. "Dad is talking about just celebrating as a family."   
  
Ben nodded. "I suppose I'll just have to call you a lot, then."  
  
She hugged him tighter. "You had better." Their lips met in a sweet kiss.  
  
It was Trowa who gently tapped his daughter's shoulder. "Amani. Come on. Before you give your father a heart attack."   
  
Giving Ben a last look, Amani joined her family and the Maxwells as they left the Manor. Ben watched her get in the car and drive off, his chest aching. He was so preoccupied that it took him a moment before he realized that someone had come up behind him.   
  
"If you're not serious, don't lead her on." Relena's voice was soft, but firm.  
  
"Mom..." His eyes never left the car she was in as it passed through the gates and out of his sight. "I have never been more serious about anything in my life."  
  
Relena glanced at Heero. Her husband lifted his shoulders and started up the stairs. She put a hand on her son's arm. "I believe you, baby. I just hope..." She sighed. "Never mind. First love. Who am I to judge?"  
  
****  
  
Adam didn't read Lin's note until he was at home and in bed. He unfolded the square of paper with trembling hands, almost afraid of what the letter might say. His heart was somewhere in his throat as he began to read.  
  
**Adam,  
  
First of all, let me make this quite clear. I love you. I have loved you for a long time as a close friend. In the past two years, I have come to feel something much deeper for you. That feeling hasn't faded, despite what happened this weekend. This letter isn't one of rejection. But I don't know what to do anymore. Yes, I do want your father's approval, but not for the reasons you think. I want his approval for you, not for me. Adam, you are one of the most amazing people I have ever known. And yet, you are one of the most unhappy. I want to help you, but I don't know what to do. Sex isn't a solution. When we do have sex, it will be because you can finally look your father in the eye and tell him whatever it is you're holding locked up inside. You'll be free to love me and make love to me. This is not an ultimatum. I would never push you, Adam. I love you too much. I only want you to be happy. When you find that, I will be here, waiting for you. Until then, we can only be as we used to be. Friends.   
  
Yours, Lin**  
  
The note crumpled in his hand as the tears flooded his violet eyes. He drew his knees up to his aching chest and let himself cry. So lost was he to his misery that he didn't hear the knock on his door, nor his twin entering his room.  
  
"Adam?" she asked in a voice that almost reminded him of the way she had once been.   
  
He turned his back on his sister. "Can you....I need to be....alone. Please."  
  
Eve's jaw tightened. An icy hand squeezed her heart. "Sure. Fine. Whatever." She slammed the door behind her when she left, but Adam ignored it. As he had ignored his sister.  
  
****  
  
January 1st, AC 226  
  
"Happy New Year!!"  
  
Amani accepted a kiss on each cheek from her fathers and politely looked away as they exchanged their first kiss of the new year. She glanced down at the sparkling cider in her hand. A thread of worry snaked across her thoughts, keeping her from joining in the celebration. Taking a deep breath, she set down her glass. "I'll be right back," she announced.  
  
Quatre tilted his head to the side to study his daughter. "Amani, are you all right?"  
  
"I just have to use the bathroom, Daddy."  
  
"But you were just in there a few minutes..."  
  
Trowa covered his lips with one finger. "I think it's a girl thing, little one."  
  
Amani managed to flash a weak smile of gratitude at her father before escaping to the downstairs bathroom. Once inside, she locked the door and reached underneath the sink for the object she had placed there ten minutes earlier. Her hands shook uncontrollably. Amani took several deep, long breaths before she examined the unfamiliar item.   
  
It fell to the floor after a minute. Amani's knees gave out and she sank to the cool tile. It couldn't really be possible, she told herself. There had to be a mistake. It had to be inaccurate. Things like this didn't really happen...especially not to someone like her. How was it even possible? They had been so careful...hadn't they?   
  
Amani reached for the tester stick and once again examined the bright pink lines. Tears of fright coursed down her cheeks. It had happened. It wasn't inaccurate. She didn't need a test to tell her that something had changed inside her body. She had known that from the minute she realized her period had never come, two weeks earlier. The test was just a formality. She stood on shaky legs and examined her reflection in the bathroom mirror.  
  
"Amani," she told herself. "You are pregnant."   
  
****  
  
To Be Continued... 


	2. Bad to worse

Disclaimer: The Gundam characters don't belong to me. The kids I kinda made up;)   
  
Author's Notes: I'm sorry this has taken so long. I lost the entire file about two months ago and had to rewrite everything. Major set-back, but it turned out even better the second time around, I think. I hope you enjoy;)   
  
Dedication: To all yall who've stuck with this Family Saga. It means a lot to me that you care about my kids;) And to Missa, for loving Eve no matter what she does.   
  
****  
  
Upon a Knife's Point  
by Kristen Elizabeth  
  
****  
  
January 25, AC 226  
  
Adam peeked his head around the kitchen doorway. The room was empty, a rare occurence since his father spent most of his life foraging in the cookie jar. But today, everyone was accounted for. His mother was doing laundry, his father was out in the shop and his sister was just out. God only knew where.   
  
Taking a deep breath, Adam strode over to the family communicator. After turning it on, he punched in a long-since memorized number and impatiently waited for the person on the other end to answer. When a face finally materialized, Adam began to speak.   
  
"Lin...please don't hang up on me."  
  
His ex-boyfriend folded his arms across his chest. "We've been through this, Adam. And my mind is made up."  
  
"I don't accept that!" Adam leaned forward on the kitchen counter. "You're not the only one in this relationship. Don't I get a say in what happens to us, too?"  
  
Lin shook his head. "I'm sorry. I really am. But I can't bear to see you so unhappy, Adam. Maybe, if we're not together, life with your dad will be easier for you."  
  
"I don't care about him!" Duo's son plunged his fingers into his short hair. "I just want to be with you. That's all....all I care about."   
  
"Please don't make this any harder than it is," Lin whispered.   
  
Adam's arms flopped to his sides. "I'm not the one making things difficult." He swallowed suddenly. "Please, Lin....please. Just tell me...that it's okay. That we're okay."  
  
"I'm sorry," the Chinese boy repeated softly. "I can't do that. Because we're not."  
  
"Lin..." Adam stared up at the ceiling for a long minute until the threat of tears passed. "I have nothing in my life...if I don't have you."  
  
Lin's own throat closed up. "You scare me when you say that, Adam."  
  
"It's true."   
  
"Adam." Lin touched his communicator screen. "I love you."  
  
The other boy barely reacted. "Why?"  
  
"Because...you are loveable," Lin replied, firmly. "And just because we can't be together doesn't mean I can't love you very much."  
  
Adam nodded, but it was just a thoughtless movement. "If you say so."   
  
Lin glanced over his shoulder. "Adam, I'm sorry, my mom needs me." He bit his lip. "Are you going to be all right?" The other boy lifted his shoulders. "Adam..."  
  
"Go." Duo's son reached for the off switch on his communicator. "I'm sorry to have bothered you." Before Lin could reply, he shut down communication.   
  
As he walked back to his bedroom, Adam ran into his mother in the hallway. She carried a wicker basket full of his clean clothes. "There you are," Hilde said to her youngest son. "Here....fold these, baby." She thrust the basket into his hands.   
  
Adam took the basket without a word of complaint or protest. Hilde frowned. The glassy look in his eyes sent a streak of worry down her spine. "What's wrong, sweetie?"  
  
He shook his head. "Nothing. I'm fine, Mom."   
  
Hilde watched him enter his room with his laundry. "Adam," she called to him. He looked at her, but his eyes failed to focus. She gave him a smile. "I love you, baby."  
  
Adam lowered his gaze to his laundry. "Well. That makes two of you."  
  
****  
  
"Mmm...what are you doing, Victoria?"  
  
The girl straddling his waist undid a second button on his shirt. "What does it look like I'm doing, Thomas?"  
  
He laughed and cupped her face in his hands. "It looks like you're getting ready to be really naughty, baby. And I just want to make sure you really want that."  
  
"Of course I'm sure." Victoria bent over to brush a kiss across his lips. "What did you think I had in mind when I invited you over on a weekend where everyone, most especially my parents, has gone to the beach house and Ben has to stay at school to write a paper?"  
  
"Ah, I see." Thomas' eyes closed as she kissed his Adam's apple. "I'm being used for my body."  
  
Victoria snickered. "And you're complaining?"  
  
"Not in the least. I just..." He sighed as she licked the base of his neck. "Baby...stop for a second." Victoria sat upright as he took a calming breath. "This is a huge thing, Victoria. Are you sure it's the right time? And that I'm the right person?"  
  
She twirled a thick lock of his short, chestnut hair around her finger. "I'm ready. We're alone. We love each other. I have protection. I'm wearing black lace underwear." Her face became a mask of exaggerated deliberation. "Hmm...what should I do?"  
  
He shook his head and laughed again. Then, his smile fell and he arched an eyebrow. "Black lace, really?"  
  
"Want to find out for sure?"  
  
Thomas wrapped his arms around her slender body, pulling her down to his chest for a kiss. As their tongues met and melded, he rolled their bodies across Victoria's bed until his hips were cradled between her thighs. Even through their clothes, he was sure she could feel his aching erection. Afraid that it might startle her, he pulled back slightly. But she would have none of that. Her hands clutched at his back, holding him against her body. She let out a little moan as his hardness rubbed against her abdomen.  
  
Her shirt, one of her father's he suspected, wasn't tucked into the waistband of her jeans, making it very easy for him to slid his hand up the warm, soft, flesh over her rib cage. His fingers skirted along the underside of her braless breast, eliciting another moan from the back of her throat. Thomas cupped the whole pert mound in his hand; his thumb caressed her nipple to a hard point.  
  
Just when things were starting to get interesting, the communicator on Victoria's desk beeped. She groaned. "I had better get that."  
  
Thomas nuzzled her neck. "You sure?"  
  
She made a face and pushed against his chest lightly. "It won't take long." He sat up, allowing her to roll off the bed. Smoothing down her hair and clothes, Victoria punched up the call. Her blood ran cold when she was greeted with the sight of Amani's lovely face, streaked with tears. "Amani?? What's wrong??"  
  
Her best friend sucked in a huge breath. "Are you alone, Tori?"  
  
Victoria glanced over her shoulder. Thomas stood up, blew her a kiss and discreetly left the room to give the girls privacy. "Okay...now tell me what's wrong, Mani."  
  
"Allah..." Amani shook her head back and forth in despair. "I don't know what to do, Tori...." She paused. "I'm pregnant." Victoria stared at her blankly through the communicator screen. "I'm really scared."  
  
Her best friend put a hand to her mouth. "Oh my god..."  
  
Fresh tears stained Amani's cheeks. "I don't know how it happened. We were careful; we used a condom. Allah," she repeated. "What am I going to do?"  
  
Victoria desperately searched for words of comfort, but all she had were questions. "When did you find out, Mani?"  
  
"New Year's Eve," was the whispered reply.  
  
"And you've waited this long to tell me?!" Victoria licked her lips. "Have you told anyone else?" Amani shook her head. "Not even...Benji?"  
  
Amani looked down for a minute. "No. Not even Ben."  
  
"You need to talk to someone, Mani. I mean, I want to help you, but I don't know what to say." She bit her tongue. "What made you decide to tell me now?"  
  
"I've been sick for the last three mornings. If I throw up anymore, I'm afraid my dad will make me go to the doctor. I need to do something now, Tori. If I don't...I'm going to start showing and then..." She closed her eyes in agony. "My dads are going to kill me...."  
  
Victoria's heart ached for her best friend. A thought suddenly hit her. "You're not considering...getting rid of the baby, are you?"  
  
There was a long pause. "It's an option," Amani finally said.  
  
"Mani..." Heero's daughter straightened her back. "You can't do anything like that without telling my brother."  
  
"I tried writing him a letter. I started to call him a couple of times." Amani raised her shoulders. "I can't tell him like that. I need to do it in person."  
  
Victoria nodded. "If only you could get to Earth..."  
  
"I'm here." Amani's voice was small. "I'm at the spaceport."  
  
"What?!?"  
  
Amani bit her lip worriedly. "I skipped school and hopped the first shuttle. And before you ask, no. I didn't tell my fathers."  
  
Victoria covered her mouth with her hand for a long moment before continuing. "I don't know what to do for you, Amani. But..." She chewed on her thumbnail. "I think I know someone who would."  
  
Her friend frowned. "Who?"  
  
"My mom."   
  
"No, no, no! I couldn't possibly tell Miss Relena." The other girl's hazel eyes flooded. "I mean....I how could I tell her that Ben and I...that we.... No....no way."   
  
Victoria spoke quietly. "We need my mom, Amani."  
  
It was a very long time before Amani gave in. "Is she there?"   
  
"Everyone's at the beach house. I'll give her a call though. Now....should Thomas and I come and get you?"  
  
"No. I can take a cab." Amani paused. "Tori...I don't want Thomas to know."  
  
"I'll send him home then," her best friend replied without hesitation.   
  
"Thank you."   
  
Victoria nodded. "Amani," she said when she saw her friend reach to shut down the public communicator. "Everything is going to be all right....somehow."  
  
Amani's hand trembled. "I hope so."  
  
****  
  
It had been years since Relena Peacecraft-Yuy had run through the front door of her family's manor. She was nearly forty-five years old and no matter what Heero told her on a daily basis, she was getting older. Her running days should have been long over. But with the memory of her daughter's worried face on the beach house's communicator screen, asking her to please hurry, Relena would not let herself slow down until she reached the bottom of the grand staircase.  
  
Her hastily packed overnight bag dropped onto the marble floor. "Victoria!" she called out. "Baby...Victoria??" She was about to start up the steps when her daughter appeared from the upstairs hallway. Amani Barton trailed behind her. Relena frowned. "Amani...Victoria....what's going on? Is everything all right??"  
  
"Mom...we're fine." The two girls started down the stairs, holding hands. "We just have a problem that we need...um...help with," Victoria continued. "That's all."   
  
Relena walked up the steps until she met them halfway. "Amani, sweetie...what are you doing here? Do your fathers know that you're..."  
  
"No, they don't, Miss Relena." Quatre and Trowa's daughter could barely make her eyes meet Relena's. "When Tori said 'we have a problem'....well, she's sweet, but it's really just me who's in trouble. Literally, I suppose."  
  
"Amani..."  
  
The girl's next words tumbled out of her mouth without warning. "I'm pregnant, Miss Relena."  
  
"Oh Amani...." After only a half second of shocked silence, Relena pulled her into a warm, maternal embrace. Amani immediately began to cry. "It's all right, sweetie." Relena stroked her blond curls. Her next question was on the tip of her tongue and it wasn't long before her curiosity got the best of her. "Who's the father, Amani?"  
  
Amani lifted her head from Relena's shoulder. "Ben."   
  
"Oh my god." Ben's mother's face became several shades paler.  
  
"It's not their fault, Mom!" Victoria spoke up. "They did use protection. It just must have...um...broken or something. They weren't irresponsible..."  
  
Relena put a hand to her forehead. "I need to sit down." Slowly, she sank down onto the carpeted stairs and rubbed her temples. "Have you told Benjamin?" Amani shook her head. "I assume, then, that you haven't made any decisions? Or told your fathers?" The girl shook her head. Relena turned to her daughter. "Victoria?"  
  
"Yeah, Mom?"  
  
"Call the beach house. Let your father know that everything's all right and just to keep everyone there. But don't rouse his suspicions, Victoria. Understand?" When Victoria nodded and ran off, Relena sighed and returned her attention to Amani. "I'll tell you what. I will get my son here for you. If....and this is a big 'if'....you do something for me, first."   
  
****  
  
Trowa Barton paced back and forth across the Arabian carpet in the parlor of the stately mansion he shared with his little family on L4. Every so often, he would pause to stare at the blank communicator as though at that very second it might light up, bringing him the news he needed. Good or bad....anything would be welcome.   
  
He couldn't remember ever been quite so frightened, not even when he had faced down his then-crazed lover in a full loaded Wing Zero with half of his own suit missing. The entire mansion had been in a state of suspended animation since receiving the call from Amani's school informing them that she had never made it classes that morning. Ever since then Quatre had been out, searching the entire colony, convinced that Amani was lying dead in a gutter.   
  
It was his job to watch over the phones in case Amani or the colony's Preventers, whom Quatre had insisted upon involving, called bearing important information. With every pace of the carpet and every minute that ticked by, Trowa's worries and fears were mounting.   
  
"If the kid isn't dead," he told himself. "I'm going to kill her."   
  
But the flat joke did nothing to improve his state of mind. And when the communicator finally beeped a minute later, he froze. Whoever it was...whatever news they had, was he ready to hear it?   
  
The parent in Trowa won out, demanding that he know for sure. Taking a huge breath, he answered the call. When Amani's face materialized on the screen, he forgot to exhale, the relief was so great.   
  
"Dad," she began immediately. "Please don't be..."  
  
Trowa held up a hand to silence her. He let go of his pent-up breath and took a moment to recover before speaking. "Are you all right, Amani?"  
  
His daughter nodded ever so slightly. "I'm so sorry, Dad. I should have called earlier."   
  
"Where are you?"   
  
"Victoria's house," was her whispered reply.   
  
He double-blinked. "Earth?? You had better have a damn good reason for being there, young lady."  
  
"I do." Amani looked down at her hands. "Is Daddy freaking out?"  
  
"What do you think, Amani?"  
  
She chewed on her lower lip. "I'm so, so sorry, Dad. I swear. I really am. But..." She glanced to her side for a long minute, as if gathering all her courage. "I have something I have to tell you."  
  
****  
  
"Hey, Yuy." Ben's roommate, Mark Hamilton, poked his head into his friend's room. "Can I borrow your bio notes?"  
  
Ben barely glanced up from his computer screen and mumbled his reply around the pencil between his teeth. "They're on my bed."  
  
"Along with everything in your closet, man." Mark began searching through the piles of laundry on Ben's bed. "I don't see 'em."  
  
"Then check the dresser....I don't know." Ben pulled the pencil from his mouth. "I'm working here."  
  
Mark shook his head and started for Ben's dresser. "You need a break, Yuy." He tossed one of Ben's shirts to the floor as he searched. "Come with us tonight. Sean's party. That chick from his history class is gonna be there. You remember...the one with the huge..."  
  
"Yeah, I remember." Ben grimaced. He ought to remember. He had spent last Halloween night in bed with her. "I don't think so."   
  
"Fuck you, Yuy," Mark replied, without any anger in his voice. "What is with you lately? I don't think I've seen a single girl enter this lair since November."   
  
Ben returned to his work. "Been busy."  
  
"Sure. Right." In his search, Mark produced a small, framed photograph that had been lying face down on Ben's dresser. He whistled loudly. "Well, well. What do we have here?"  
  
His roommate glanced up and his Prussian blue eyes grew wide. Shooting out of his chair, he made a grab for Amani's picture. "Put it down, Hamilton."  
  
Mark held it back from and gave the picture of the younger girl a crude once over. "Nice...very nice. Gotta love a blond in a bathing suit. The girlfriend back home?"  
  
"Good question," he replied after a pause. They had never said anything for definite.   
  
"She any good in bed?"  
  
Ben's eyes flashed dangerously. "Don't go there, man."  
  
"That good, eh?" Mark laughed. "You only get defensive about the really good ones."  
  
With a burst of energy that could be attributed to his father's genes, Ben wrestled the picture out of Mark's leering grip. "Don't ever look at this picture again, Hamilton," he warned.   
  
Their third roommate, Samuel Johnson, appeared at the door. "Yuy...your mom's on the comm," he announced.  
  
Ben replaced Amani's picture on his dresser, face up this time. After shoving Mark out of his room, he closed the door and went to answer the communicator. "Hey, Mom," he greeted Relena as she appeared on the screen. "What's up?"  
  
****  
  
Trowa stared at his daughter. After a dangerous amount of time, he spoke. "Who?"  
  
"Dad..." Amani's lip trembled. "Please don't..."  
  
"Amani." His throat shook with the effort of maintaining control. "Who did this to you?"  
  
"You know, I was there when it happened, Dad!" Her anger peaked through her tears. "It wasn't *done* to me because accepted the risk when I..."  
  
Trowa cut her off again. "Tell me who. Now."  
  
Amani closed her eyes before replying, "Ben." There was another horrible pause. Finally, Trowa let loose with a string of curses. Amani covered her face. "Dad, please!! Stop!"  
  
"And I trusted you!" Trowa yelled. "I told Quatre that it would be just fine for you to date people because you were mature and could handle yourself....even with that..that..." He plunged all ten fingers into his hair to slow his raging temper. Another second passed. "But now you've proven him right."  
  
"Dad..." Amani ignored her tears. "I know I made a mistake. We...we made a mistake. We tried to prevent this, but...it happened. You can yell at me all you want...I can't go back and change it." She wiped her cheeks. "Right now, I just need your help. And maybe, if you think you can, your support?"  
  
"You're asking for a lot, Amani..." Trowa's next pause was even longer. "All right," he eventually said. "You've got it."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Have you decided what you're going to do yet?"  
  
Amani shook her head. "There's still one person I have to tell."  
  
He nodded tightly. "Well...whatever you decide...Quatre and I will be there. We'll take the next shuttle to Earth."   
  
Amani's wet eyes grew wider. "No!! No, you can't tell Daddy!!" Trowa frowned. "Please, Dad! It would kill Daddy if he knew! Don't tell him....just say that I'm fine and that you're coming to get me."  
  
"Amani, don't ask me to lie to the man I love."  
  
"I will tell Daddy...someday. But right now...it'll break his heart. And you know it."  
  
Trowa sighed. "Yes. It would." He nodded again. "All right. I'll be there as soon as I can." Swallowing, he touched the communicator screen. "I love you, Amani."  
  
"I love you, too, Dad." She sniffed. "Thank you."  
  
After Amani shut down communication, Trowa had only a scant few minutes to collect himself before Quatre entered the mansion with all the force of a small, blond tornado. "Have you heard anything?" he immediately asked, what was left of his breath threatening to give out.  
  
Trowa smiled weakly. "She's fine. She just called."  
  
Quatre nearly doubled over in relief. He grabbed the back of the love seat to steady himself. "Oh praise Allah... Where is she?"  
  
"Our daughter decided to take a little surprise trip to Earth."   
  
"By herself? On a whim??" Quatre's worry was rapidly morphing into parental rage. "I can't believe that child!!"  
  
Trowa reached for him. "It's okay. I've already yelled at her and she feels very bad." That was a least true. "It's all under control; I just need to get the shuttle ready."  
  
Quatre nodded. "I'll go pack us a bag."  
  
"Um...you can't do that, little one." Trowa thought quickly. "You have that brunch tomorrow with the board."   
  
"I'll postpone it."  
  
"It's been on the schedule for months."  
  
"This is more important." Quatre crossed his arms. "What is going on, Trowa?"  
  
"Nothing. It's just...this is one little rebellion. The first time ever that Amani has acted her age. I don't think it warrants this much reaction, that's all." He gently massaged his partner's shoulder. "You need to stay here, carry on like normal and try not to let it upset you. I can get the kid."  
  
After a moment's thought, Quatre nodded. "You're right. As usual." He sighed. "This is just so unlike Amani."   
  
"Yes." Trowa's eyes grew darker. "It is."  
  
Quatre wrapped his arms around his lover's waist. "Thank you for being my common sense."   
  
"Don't discredit your own common sense, little one." Trowa's eyes grew dark. "Sometimes...you're more right about things than you think you are...."  
  
****  
  
Rather than have the cab he took from his dorm drop him off directly on the steps of his family's manor, Ben chose to walk up the long, circular driveway himself. He needed the extra few minutes of stalling time in case whatever was waiting for him at home turned out to be something truly awful. And from the tone in his mother's voice when she asked him to come home, he had a feeling it would be.   
  
The only thing he could think of was that someone must have died.   
  
Ben began to jog as a light sprinkle of rain appeared out of nowhere. By the time he reached the house, it was pouring and his leather jacket and jeans were soaked. "Dammit," he cursed the weather. As he let himself into the house, he shook out his arms.   
  
"Hello?" he called out, brushing his wet hair off his forehead. "Mom?" The last person in the world he expected to appear from the kitchen did so hesitantly. "Amani?" He gave a mixed look of confusion and surprise.   
  
"Hi, Ben," she replied softly.   
  
He dropped his soaked duffel bag, shed his jacket and covered the distance between them with open arms. It had been far too long since he had held her. But to his utter disbelief, she stepped back before he could touch her. "Amani?" Ben blinked. "What's going on?" Worry welled up in his throat again. "Where's my Mom?"  
  
"She's in the kitchen with Victoria." Amani pressed the tips of her fingers together. "We need to talk."  
  
"Okay..."  
  
She walked past him. "In the parlor?"  
  
He followed her with great reluctance. "Have you ever heard of the Twilight Zone?" She shook her head. "Well....I think I've fallen into it."   
  
In the parlor, Amani sat down on a small love seat. "Can you close the door?" He complied, still giving her a wary look. "Maybe you'd better sit down, too."  
  
"Please just tell me that no one in my family is dead," Ben said.   
  
Amani gave him a weak smile. "They're all alive and accounted for, I promise."  
  
"Whew..." Ben sank down beside her. "That's a relief." He sat up straight. "So....if it's not that, then what..."  
  
She held her breath for a second after his words trailed off. "I might as well just say it very fast. Ben....I'm pregnant."  
  
The silence that followed was unbearable. Ben stared at her blankly as though frozen in the moment. Amani swallowed and attempted a laugh. "This could be the longest you've ever gone without speaking, Ben. So...say something. Please?"  
  
"I have...no idea what to say," was his hoarse reply. The faint strains of a question hung in the air, but he refused to vocalize them.   
  
Amani's heart sank into her stomach. "You could start by just asking me what you want to."  
  
Ben ran a hand down his face. "It's just....I mean, we did use a condom, Amani. Can you blame me for wondering..."  
  
"They break, Ben." Her voice was hard for a moment until the true impact of his doubt hit her. "Do you really think it was someone else?"   
  
His eyes flew open. "No! God...no! I could never think that you....I mean, I'm sorry it came out that way because I wouldn't ever..." He stopped.   
  
"But you did think it."  
  
He sighed. "It was just...a reflex. I mean, obviously my mom knows...my sister probably knows. I guess I'm in shock. I mean, who else knew before me?"   
  
"My dad."  
  
"Oh shit! Which one?" If it was Quatre, his chances at survival were greater.  
  
She didn't reply, but twin tears slipped from her eyes. "I'm so sorry this happened, Ben."  
  
"Hey....hey." He reached for her again and this time, she allowed him to put his arm around her. "Amani...this isn't your fault!"   
  
Amani sniffed. "Eve didn't let herself get pregnant."   
  
Ben had no answer for that. Eve, after all, had been on birth control since she hit puberty. "It's...our problem, Amani. And we'll take care of it. Together."  
  
She nodded and with much hesitation, rested her head on his wet shoulder. "Yeah. I just don't know what the right thing to do is." Ben closed his eyes. Amani took the opportunity to sneak a upwards glance at his handsome face. "What do you want to do?"  
  
He opened them again. "What do *you* want to do?"  
  
"We're not going to get anywhere like that, Ben."  
  
"Can't help it." Ben gave her a half-formed smile. "I don't suppose we could postpone making this decision?"  
  
Amani shook her head against the damp leather of his jacket. "Whatever we decide....it has to be done this weekend."  
  
He rested his chin on the top of her blond locks, breathing in the sweet scent of her green tea shampoo. How many times had the memory of this fragrance woken him from a blissful sleep? He had made love to her so many times in his dreams, craved the feeling of her in his arms, imagined what it would be like to marry, have children, grow old...all with her.   
  
In the distant future.  
  
The present was not a time for children. He had so many plans for his life. Hell, his mother already had him taking over all her former political positions and he hadn't even gotten a degree in anything yet. There was still so much he wanted to do with his life. And he knew, for a definite fact, that Amani had to feel the same way. When he gently pulled away from her and looked into her eyes, he was more convinced than ever. Neither of them were ready to be strapped to a child and the life of responsibility that came with one.   
  
"There's really only one choice," he said softly. "Isn't there?"  
  
Amani nodded and set her cheek on his shoulder again. "Yeah. Just one."  
  
****  
  
Trowa arrived at the Peacecraft Manor after what had to be the fastest shuttle ride between L4 and Earth ever recorded. Relena let him in the house and as soon as he had set down his bag and umbrella, embraced him.   
  
"Where is she?" he asked her after a long minute of shared silence.  
  
Relena pulled back and wiped her eyes. "She and Benjamin are in the parlor, talking." It took her a moment to realize he was alone. "Quatre didn't come?"  
  
"Quatre doesn't know."  
  
"I didn't tell Heero either," Relena confessed. "Probably for the same reasons..." She shook her head. "I can't believe this happened, Trowa."  
  
Trowa lifted his shoulders. "I just hope they make the right choice."  
  
"What would the right choice be, do you think?"  
  
He paused. "Amani has so many goals, Relena. She wants to go to college, become a psychologist, travel around the world. She shouldn't have to give all of that up because this was inflicted on her."  
  
"Likewise it would be very hard for Benjamin to get through law school with a wife and child to support." Relena's temper sparked at bit at the implication that the entire situation was her son's fault.   
  
"I suppose we'll just have to trust them, then."  
  
Relena sighed. "I suppose."  
  
Just then, the parlor doors slid open. Ben and Amani emerged, keeping a good few inches of space between them, especially after catching the look Trowa settled onto Heero and Relena's son. The feet separating the parents and their children seemed like miles. Finally, Amani spoke.  
  
"Dad...Miss Relena. We've decided what we're going to do."  
  
****  
  
"Sally?"   
  
The woman in question blinked the sleep out of her eyes and tried to focus on the communicator screen next to her bed. "Relena? It's..."  
  
"Late where you are, I know, and I'm very sorry." Relena wrung her hands. "I wouldn't call unless it were very important, though."  
  
"What's going on, Relena?"  
  
"Well..." The younger woman put her hands at her side to keep them still. "I know it's been awhile since you've actively practiced medicine, but I was hoping...maybe you could come out of retirement for a day to perform a...small procedure."  
  
Sally tilted her head to one side. "What kind of procedure?"  
  
Relena closed her eyes briefly. "An abortion."  
  
"Relena..." Sally put a hand to her throat. "You're pregnant? You and Heero don't want the..."  
  
"It's not me," her friend quickly said. "I wish I could tell you who, but it's a very delicate..."  
  
"I understand." Wufei's widow paused for a long minute. "I was never licensed to do this particular procedure."  
  
Relena nodded. "But you do know how, right? Sally, the girl knows you. She trusts you. I know the Preventer med bay has the equipment to..."  
  
"I can't, Relena," Sally interrupted her in a quiet but firm voice. "Even if I were licensed and practicing."  
  
"Sally?"  
  
The older woman looked down at her hands. "Before Wufei died....he and I....we were trying to have another baby."  
  
"Oh Sally..." Relena bit her lip. "I'm so sorry. I didn't know that..."  
  
"No one knew. And, obviously, it didn't happen." Sally cleared her throat. "As much as I want to help you, I just can't, Relena. I can't take a life like that when all I wanted was to have one more bit of Wufei to..." She stopped. "I'm sorry. I'll give you the name of the best doctor I know near you. He's very discreet and completely qualified. But I won't do it. I can't."  
  
Relena indicated her understanding. "Truth be told, I'm having a very hard dealing with the idea myself. But...I have to believe it's the best thing. For everyone involved."  
  
"Relena..." Sally's blue eyes were full of compassion for her friend. "Is it Victoria?"  
  
"No. But it might as well be."  
  
****  
  
Relena scheduled an appointment for Amani with Sally's recommended physician, Dr. Seward, before his clinic opened the next morning. To her great relief, he was as discreet as Sally had promised and didn't seem like the type who would even think of charging the Vice President for his silence about her involvement in an abortion.   
  
Well before the sun rose, Trowa drove himself, Relena, Ben and Amani to the doctor's office, just over the old border of the Sanq Kingdom. In the backseat, Ben reached for Amani's hand and after only a moment of hesitation, she accepted the little bit of comfort. Their fingers remained entwined for the entire journey.  
  
Dr. Seward greeted them upon their arrival, dressed in scrubs and ready to proceed. After Amani and Trowa filled out some medical forms and legal waivers, he disappeared into his office to give the group a moment of privacy. Once he was gone, Relena looked back and forth at the two teenagers.   
  
"You're sure this is what you want?" she asked them.  
  
"Mom, it's not what we want." Her son's features were tight and stressed. "It's what has to be done."  
  
Amani clutched her arm with one hand. "We're so very sorry for all of this," she whispered.   
  
Trowa was about to reply when Dr. Seward reappeared. "I don't mean to interrupt, but if we're going to finish this procedure before the clinic opens, we need to get going. I have to start an IV and numb the area where I'm going to..."  
  
"Thank you, doctor." Trowa held up a hand. "She'll be with you in just a minute." Dr. Seward nodded and indicated the exam room he would be in. Trowa's attention returned to his daughter. "Would you like someone to come in with you, Amani?"  
  
She shook her head. "I'll be fine on my own." Her knees shook as she stood and handed Relena her coat. When she reached the exam room door, she turned back around. "I love you all."  
  
Ben watched her until the door shut behind her slender body. He slumped into a hard chair to begin the long wait.  
  
****  
  
Two and a half hours later, the door reopened. Ben's head shot up as Dr. Seward entered the room. Trowa was already on his feet with Relena right beside him.  
  
"The procedure went fine. Absolutely no complications," the doctor told them before they could ask.   
  
Trowa's shoulders relaxed. "Is that all then?"  
  
"Well, she was feeling a bit woozy when she was getting dressed, so I made her lie down for another minute. But she should be ready to go home." The doctor rubbed his hands together. "She needs plenty of rest and if she bleeds any more than simple spotting for the next day or so, I want her at the nearest hospital immediately." He held out a piece of paper. "This is a prescription for a medicine that will help contract her uterus."   
  
Relena nodded. "I'll make sure she gets it."   
  
There was an awkward pause. "How will you paying for this?" Dr. Seward asked, as politely as possible.   
  
While Trowa and Relena settled the bill, Ben quietly slipped into the examination room. Inside, Amani was lying on the exam table, fast asleep. He approached her and reached out to tuck a few stray blond curls behind her ear.   
  
"Baby," he whispered to her. "I am so sorry you had to go through this."  
  
She barely stirred as Ben slipped one arm under her knees and the other under her shoulders. He lifted her up and cradled her in his arms as he rejoined the others in the waiting room. The sun was just beginning to appear on the horizon as they left the clinic.   
  
Trowa let the boy carry his daughter to the car and, when the arrived back at the manor, up the stairs to an empty bedroom. He watched Ben as he carefully placed Amani onto the bed and pulled a blanket around her slender body. When he stepped back, Trowa made his move, accosting Heero's son without warning.   
  
"I think I have shown a great amount of restraint in the past twenty-four hours," he told Ben in a low voice. "Twenty years ago, I would have gone with my first instinct and broken your neck."  
  
Ben lowered his eyes. "Sir, I understand that what I did was..."  
  
"However," Trowa continued. "You've both been punished enough. So, after today, we will never speak of this again. But if in the future, I *ever* see you touch Amani in a way you wouldn't touch your sister...I will not be so restrained. Understood?"  
  
"Understood." Ben backed out of the room, leaving Trowa to watch over his daughter. In the hallway, he ran into his sister, on her way to check on Amani. He averted his eyes to keep her from seeing the tears in his own.   
  
But Victoria was too perceptive for that trick. She reached for her older brother. "Benji...what's wrong? Is Amani okay?"  
  
He nodded. "She's fine." Ben rubbed his arm over his eyes. "I just...I fucked up, Vic."   
  
Victoria's heart went out to her brother. He hadn't called her "Vic" since they were much younger. She squeezed her arms around his broad shoulders. "It's going to be okay, Benji. I promise...it's all going to be okay."   
  
"I fucked up," he said again, burying his face in his sister's long hair. *I always fuck up....*  
  
****  
  
Amani didn't wake up until well after noon. When she finally opened her eyes, Victoria was sitting next the bed, holding her hand. She blinked several times. "Tori?"  
  
"Hey...you're awake." Victoria gave her a small smile. "How do you feel?"  
  
"Numb." She tried to sit up. "And empty."  
  
Victoria helped her into a sitting position. "You've been out for a long time. Are you hungry?"  
  
"No." Amani placed a hand on her flat stomach. "I can't believe it's over."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
Her friend frowned. "Do you think I got off too easily, Tori?"  
  
"Too easily?" Victoria gave her an incredulous look. "Amani...you made the hardest choice imaginable!"  
  
"Maybe. Or maybe, I took the easy route." She put a hand to her head. "I mean, if my own mother had done what I just did...I wouldn't even be here."  
  
Victoria shook her head. "I don't think you should even think like that."   
  
"I've been afraid my whole life, Tori. Afraid of ending up like her." Amani lowered her hand. "Well, I didn't. I ended up worse." Before Victoria could start in on her, she changed the subject. "Where's Ben?"  
  
There was a painful moment of silence. "I'm sorry, Mani." Victoria bit her lip. "He left to go back to school while you were asleep."  
  
"Oh." Amani hesitated before pushing the blanket off her legs. "I see."  
  
"I think he really loves you, Mani," Victoria told her, desperate to see some sign of life on her best friend's face. "He didn't really want to leave so suddenly."  
  
Amani gently rubbed her wrist where the IV had left its mark. "Ben never does anything he doesn't want to do."  
  
****  
  
The shuttle trip back to L4 was uneventful. Amani slept most of the way, only waking up as Trowa was making preparations to enter the airlock. She lifted her head from the side of her seat. "We're here?"  
  
Her father nodded and adjusted a few controls. "Are you feeling all right?"  
  
"I'm fine, Dad."  
  
He nodded again. "I spoke to your father while you were asleep."  
  
Amani stared out the window at the stars surrounding them. "What did he say?"  
  
"Just that he was worried about us when we didn't come back last night." Trowa glanced at her. "I told him there was a storm that delayed our departure. In case he asks you."  
  
"I hate lying to Daddy," Amani whispered.   
  
Trowa guided the shuttle into the airlock. "Me too."  
  
After they had safely landed, they took a cab to the Winner mansion on the other side of the colony. Quatre was already out on the front steps, waiting for them when they pulled through the gates. Amani climbed out of the cab with her eyes downcast. She wasn't quite sure she could meet Quatre's gaze. She discreetly tugged the long sleeve of her cotton shirt down over the bandage on her wrist.   
  
He approached her immediately and folded her up into his arms without a word. Amani blinked back hot tears, her nose squashed against the starched collar of his shirt. Her father always smelled clean with just a trace of spiced cologne.   
  
Quatre pulled back and cupped his daughter's face in his hands. "Do you have any idea just how grounded you are?"  
  
Amani nodded. "I'm sorry, Daddy. I really am."  
  
He embraced her again. "It's all right, sweetie. I'm just glad you're safe." He reached for Trowa's hand. "You both must be hungry. Dinner's ready."  
  
"Sure. That sounds good." Amani stepped back. "I'm going to go upstairs and freshen up first."  
  
Quatre watched her disappear into the mansion. He turned to Trowa. "Is she really all right? She looks a bit pale."  
  
"She's fine. Now," Trowa added.   
  
His lover nodded. "I'm glad you went to get her. I suppose I was overreacting to a very little rebellion." Quatre's eyes shone as he gave Trowa a soft kiss. "She's a good kid, isn't she?"  
  
Trowa rested his chin on Quatre's block locks, still so thick and brilliant. "I'm not sure we can call her a kid anymore, little one."  
  
****  
  
"So...what was it?"  
  
Relena glanced over her shoulder at her husband as he came out of their bathroom, a towel draped around his neck and one wrapped around his waist. "What was what?"  
  
Heero moved the suitcase he had taken to the beach house, still unpacked since the family's return over three hours earlier and sat on the edge of their bed. "The thing that took you away from me this weekend. What was it?"  
  
"Oh..." Relena picked up her brush. "Um...Amani decided to make a surprise trip to see Victoria. I had to smooth things over with Trowa."   
  
Her husband rubbed his wet hair with his towel. "Didn't figure Amani for the rebellious type."  
  
"She made a mistake," Relena replied. She paused with her brush halfway through her hair. "And she paid for it." So lost was she in her thoughts, that she didn't even feel Heero coming up behind her or see him in the mirror until his hands were kneading her tight shoulders. "Oh...that feels good..."  
  
Heero guided her to her feet and turned her around to face him. The thin satin of her nightgown was the only thing seperating them once he removed his towel. Relena looked up at his handsome face, the face of the man she had loved for nearly thirty years. With the exception of a few lines around his eyes and mouth and the sprinkle of grey at his temples, he was the same as he had been the day she met him.   
  
They kissed with a fervor that would never fade, no matter how many years they spent together. Relena broke the kiss to rest the side of her head on his strong shoulder. "I suppose I'll have to make this weekend up to you?"  
  
"I think it's only fair," Heero replied, inhaling the sweet scent of her hair.   
  
Relena lifted her head and gave him a forced smile. He swept her up in his arms and lay her back on their bed, covering her body with his. His lips skimmed down her throat to her breasts. When he took one satin-covered nipple into his mouth, she closed her eyes.   
  
The weight of the secret she bore pressed down onto her much more than his solid figure. She ran her fingers through his hair as he continued down her flat stomach.   
  
**I promised I'd never keep a secret from you...**  
  
He pulled her nightgown over her head and wrapped her up in his arms. "I love you, Relena," he whispered.   
  
**I'm so sorry, Heero. I only hope you never find out what I've done.**  
  
She pressed a soft kiss onto his jaw. "I love you, too."  
  
****  
  
March 25, 226  
  
"Is everybody getting packed??"  
  
Adam rolled his eyes as his dad's question floated down the hall. He stuffed a few shirts into his duffel bag before zipping it up. Carrying it over to his desk, he began searching for his headphones through his desk drawers.   
  
He wasn't aware of Eve until he glanced up. She was standing in the open doorway to his room, wearing a pair of shorts that should have been illegal. "I hope you're not planning to wear that on the shuttle," Adam told his twin as he lifted the headphones out of his desk. "Unless you want to give Dad a coronary."  
  
Eve snorted softly. "I seriously doubt he'd notice. Besides..." She dug her bare toe into the carpet. "I'm not going."  
  
Adam threw his Walkman onto his bag with exasperation. "Don't be ridiculous, Eve."  
  
"I'm a lot of things, Adam. Ridiculous isn't one of them."  
  
"Just...go get packed, okay?"  
  
Eve crossed her arms over her halter top. "If you can name one person who would miss me if I wasn't there, I'll go."  
  
"I suppose I don't count for anything, do I? I mean, I'm only your twin brother."   
  
She faltered a bit in her determination. "I meant other people."  
  
"I'm not all that fired up to go either. But Ben has been waiting for his 21st birthday since he was born. And the last time I checked, he was one of our best friends."  
  
"You should check more often."  
  
Adam's head snapped up. "Look! If there's weirdness between you and Ben, you have no one to blame but yourself. And maybe you'll think about what you're doing the next time you jump someone in a hot tub!" Eve's lower lip threatened to tremble. He ran a hand down his face, instantly regretting his words. "Eve. I didn't mean..." he began.  
  
"I'll go get packed," she said, coldly, after regaining her composure. She flounced away before he could continue.   
  
Adam cursed sharply. After a long minute, he reached back into his desk and pulled out a worn picture. Three summers ago. A year before Ben and Eve and the hot tub. He ran his fingers over the younger faces of his friends. He and his twin, arms around each other, laughing. Victoria whispering something into Amani's ear. Amani's eyes wide at whatever it was. Ben sneaking a glance at Amani. Jade rolling her eyes good-naturedly at Celeste, who was giving her cousin the classic bunny ears. And Lin.   
  
He stared at the image of his ex-boyfriend for longer than anyone else. His handsome face was set in a smile, his chest was bare and his swim trunks were baggy and Adam wanted him, now as much as he had when the photo was taken.   
  
Something compelled him to put the picture in the pocket of his jeans before he picked up his duffel bag and started out of his room.   
  
****  
  
The door to Ben's apartment swung open and a bare chested college boy carrying a bowl of cereal stepped out to greet Victoria. She blinked. "Um...hi. I'm here to pick up Benji?"  
  
"Benji?" Her brother's roommate raked his eyes up and down her body. "Sorry, no Benji here, babe. But you're more than welcome to come in and wait for one to show up. In my room, if you'd like."  
  
Victoria sighed. "You're probably Mark, right? Look, just get my brother or tell me where I can find him."  
  
Mark lifted an eyebrow. "So...you're the little sister. Anastasia, right?"  
  
"Victoria," she replied, coldly.  
  
"Right...Victoria." Mark slurped down a spoonful of cereal. "Come on in, little sister." Reluctantly, she followed him inside the apartment. Her nose crinkled. Could the place have been anymore masculine? Dirty dishes, cardboard cut-outs of swimsuit models, a TV shaped like a football. She just hoped her mother never saw what her son called home.  
  
"Oh, *Benji*!" Mark called out, making Victoria jump slightly. "Your ride has arrived. And she looks good!"  
  
Victoria heard a mumbled "Fuck" from somewhere in the apartment. She glanced Mark who gave her a leering grin. A moment later, Ben appeared, carting an overstuffed backpack. His appearance shocked his sister who thought she had seen him at his worst the night he graduated from high school and had needed her help sneaking past their father.   
  
No razor had touched his face in days. His clothes were clean, but horribly wrinkled. Bloodshot eyes greeted her with a blank expression. "You're early," he told her.   
  
She swallowed. "Sorry. I guess I sped a little getting here."  
  
"That's a good way to get that nice, new license revoked fast." Ben slung his backpack onto the tiny kitchen counter and reached into the fridge for a can of beer.   
  
Victoria shook her head. "Don't even think about drinking that now or in my car."  
  
Ben threw the can back into the fridge. "You've really got that 'mom' impression down pat, don't you?" Mark snickered into his cereal.  
  
"Are you ready to go?" She propped her hands up on her hips. "Everyone's supposed to be arriving right about now and they'll all be waiting for you."  
  
"I'm ready," he snapped, grabbing up his backpack. "Let's get this fucking weekend over with."  
  
"See ya, man," Mark said to his roommate as he left with his younger sister. A moment after the door closed, a girl wrapped up in a navy blue sheet and nothing else emerged from Ben's room.   
  
She put a hand to her mussed head of blond hair. "Where did Ben go?" Her voice was heavy with sex and sleep.  
  
"Ben had a prior commitment," Mark informed her. "However, I'm sure he had a good time with you last night...." He trailed off.   
  
"Amanda," the girl supplied.  
  
"I'd say that he'll call you, Amanda..." He set down his cereal bowl. "But why lie?"  
  
****  
  
Victoria waited until they were ten minutes away from the manor before she sweetly asked her brother, "You know you look like shit, right?" He promptly flipped her off. "Nice, very nice."  
  
Ben gripped his pounding head. "I don't need this right now."  
  
"No, you need about quart of coffee, a shower and a shave," she replied. "If you can manage all of that before Daddy sees you, then you might just make it to your 21st birthday."  
  
"I couldn't give a fuck." Ben slumped down into the passenger's seat and closed his eyes.  
  
Victoria readjusted her grip on the steering wheel. "Can you say 'future alcoholic on a downward spiral'?"  
  
"Can you say 'I have no fucking idea what I'm talking about'?" he retorted.  
  
"How are you enjoying that misery you're wallowing in, by the way?"   
  
"Fuck!" Ben's eyes popped open. "Can you just shut up, Victoria?!"  
  
His sister narrowed her Prussian blue eyes. "I'm trying to help your ass here, although I'm not quite sure why I'm bothering. Maybe because, I don't know, I love you or something?" She paused. "I love her, too."  
  
He didn't need to ask who Victoria was talking about. His hard features softened momentarily. "How...how is she?"  
  
"Why haven't you called her and found out yourself?"  
  
Ben's laughter was bitter. "After about the tenth time Trowa told me to never call again, I took the hint, Vic."  
  
She chewed on her lower lip. "She's...she's been about the same as you. Except without the alcohol."   
  
*And probably without the string of one night stands,* Ben added to himself. His eyes closed again under the agony of the previous night with Miranda...Samantha...Amanda...whatever her name had been. When he re-opened them, his sister was turning onto the back road that would take them to the manor.   
  
Victoria continued. "How were you expecting her to be, considering that you left without a word after the..." She hesitated. "After the abortion?" Ben had no answer. "God...why do you have to hurt her so much, Benji?  
  
His shoulders lifted. "I guess that's all I'm good for." She shook her head, refusing to acknowledge his self-pity. "Do I really look like shit?" he asked after a long moment of thought.  
  
Victoria nodded "Warmed over."  
  
He reached into the back seat for his backpack. After a moment, he cursed. "I forgot my shaving stuff."  
  
Sighing, Victoria pulled over to the curb. She leaned across him, opened the glove compartment and brought out a pink electric razor.  
  
Ben blinked. "I don't even want to know why you have this in your car."  
  
"I'll just say that my legs are always smooth at school." Victoria plugged it into the cigarette lighter and put it in his hand. "Hurry up. We're late as it is."  
  
****  
  
"And just where do you think you're going, Amani Barton?"  
  
She froze on the top step of the grand staircase before turning slowly to face Lin. "Um..." Debating several lies, she finally went with the truth. "I'm escaping before 'Tori arrives back with Ben."  
  
He lifted a black eyebrow. "Now why does that seem strange to me...let me think...." He tapped his cheek. "Oh yeah! Because the last time I saw you and Ben together you were deliriously happy while he sucked half your face off in front of God and both of your fathers."  
  
"Yes, well..." Amani delicately scratched her temple. "You haven't seen either of us in awhile."  
  
Lin shook his head. "Damn....Adam and I kicked off some sort of horrific trend."  
  
"Trend?"  
  
"Breaking up. First us and then Celeste and her boyfriend. Now you and Ben. We'd better keep an eye on Victoria and Thomas this weekend or they'll be over before they even really start."  
  
"Celeste and Andrew broke up?" Amani stalled.  
  
Lin nodded. "She hasn't told you yet? She accosted me with the story as soon as I got here. Apparently, he cheated on her."  
  
"Poor Celeste. She really liked him."  
  
"Do you want to talk about you and Ben?" Lin asked.   
  
She lifted her slender shoulders. "It just wasn't meant to be. It got....complicated."  
  
"I'm sorry, Mani. I really am."  
  
"Thanks, Lin." The sound of car doors slamming outside signaled the moment Amani had been dreading. "Oh...they're here."  
  
The Chinese boy gave her a sympathetic look. "Are you going to be all right?"   
  
"I'm not sure." Amani swallowed. "Will you do me a favor?"  
  
"Anything."  
  
"Hold my hand?"  
  
****  
  
A small crowd of friends and family greeted Ben when he and Victoria walked through the front doors of the manor. He received hugs and birthday wishes, exchanged handshakes and smiles. But his eyes were on the top of the staircase where Amani was standing, holding hands with Lin, watching him with a forelorn expression on her lovely, pale face.   
  
If he didn't know the other boy to be gay, they would have been having words later.   
  
His parents pushed through the crowd; Ben soon found himself enfolded into his mother's arms. Heero clapped his son's back. "Where the hell have you been for the past two months?"  
  
Ben attempted a smile. "Sorry...been busy. With school." Relena pulled back and gave him a look, but said nothing.   
  
Victoria didn't fail to notice the silent stare between her brother and her best friend. She wanted to run up the staircase and throw her arms around Amani, but she was stopped by a firm tap on her shoulder.   
  
Thomas had arrived only minutes before his parents and had been patiently waiting for Victoria's return ever since. He hadn't seen her since their weekend that had been interrupted by what Victoria had told him was little more than Amani going through a rough break-up with some guy on L4. The weeks had been long in the meantime; Thomas wanted nothing more than to gather her up into his arms....and find some time alone to finish what they had started that weekend.  
  
"How come you get prettier every time I see you?" he asked, reaching for her slender body.   
  
Victoria's muscles stiffened when Thomas wrapped his arms around her. "Thomas...hi. Um...how are you?"  
  
He frowned into the fragrant nape of her neck. "Are we playing the formal game today, Miss Yuy?"   
  
"No games." Victoria gracefully extracted herself from the embrace. "I just need to make the rounds. I haven't seen everyone since my birthday, after all."  
  
Thomas scratched the back of his head as she moved off into the crowd. "Was I just rejected?" he asked out loud.   
  
"Not rejected," Celeste reassured him as she came to his side. "Tori's been distracted for weeks, Thomas. I wouldn't take it personally if I were you."   
  
He frowned. "If you say so." After a moment, he looked down at the blond girl. "And how are you, Miss Peacecraft?"  
  
Celeste shook her head. "You don't have to make small talk with me. Go after my cousin and make her talk to you."  
  
"What if I want to talk to you instead?"  
  
Millardo and Noin's daughter darted her blue eyes up to the oldest Maxwell son with faint interest. "Is that one of the things they teach you in med school? How to be a smooth operator?"   
  
Thomas smiled. "Nothing gets by you, does it, Celeste?"  
  
She lifted her slender shoulders. "I just don't like being anyone's second choice. That's your sister's..." She quickly stopped. "Sorry."  
  
His violet eyes grew a shade darker at the mention of Eve. "Where is my sister, by the way?"   
  
Again, Celeste shrugged. "When I want to find her, I usually follow the trail of abandoned clothes until..."   
  
"Thank you," Thomas cut her off. "I get it."  
  
"Just trying to be helpful."   
  
He reached out and ruffled the carefully combed locks on the top of her head, as though she were five again. "Sure you were." As he walked away in search of his youngest sister, he muttered under his breath, "Helpful like a sledgehammer."   
  
****  
  
"Mmmm....." Duo wandered into the massive kitchen of the Peacecraft manor and inhaled deeply. The air was laced with spices, curry and paprika. "Something smells good, Relena."  
  
His best friend's wife laughed and swatted his hand away as it reached for the largest oven's door. "You've been here for no more than an hour and you're already scavenging for food?"  
  
"It was such a long shuttle ride...." Despite his near forty-six years, Duo molded his face into one of child-like innocence. "Can I just have a little sample? Just to test it out?"   
  
Relena shook her head. "No, no, no. I refuse." She smiled at him, her cheeks pink with the effort of cooking her son's birthday dinner. "Besides, the chicken is far from done. You don't want to get sick, do you?"  
  
He contemplated this for a moment. "Tandoori chicken, it is?"  
  
"Ben's favorite," Relena reminded him.   
  
"Then you're probably also making....sour cream and chive mashed potatoes, garlic green beans, sourdough toast and...." Duo stopped, unable to remember Ben's favorite dessert.   
  
"French silk pie." She shook her finger at him. "Touch that and you die, Maxwell. It took me days to get enough good crusts."   
  
Duo held up his hands. "I'll be good, I promise." He sat on a barstool and let Relena pour him a glass of wine. "Princess, can I ask you something?"  
  
Relena opened the oven door. "Of course," she replied, lifting the clay lid of the dish in which the chicken was cooking.  
  
He took a long sip of wine before continuing. "It's about Eve."   
  
Heero's wife straightened up and pulled the hot mitts off her hands. "What about Eve?" In truth, she had been hoping to speak to Duo about his youngest daughter. Not a single adult eyebrow hadn't shot up after catching a glimpse of the barely-there outfit he had let Eve get away with wearing on the trip to Earth.   
  
"I don't know. It's just..." Duo looked down into his glass. "Every year around this time...." He swallowed. "I start thinking about Grace..."  
  
She picked up her own wine. "That's to be understood."  
  
"But this year, I started thinking about Eve. And then Ruth....and Abby....Thomas and Adam. I thought..." Duo licked his lips. "In a lot of ways, I know my...dead child better than I know the living ones."  
  
Relena drew in a breath and exhaled slowly. There was a long pause. "You know, Duo," she finally began. "If you really feel that way...maybe it's time to do something about that."   
  
"Yeah." Duo ran a hand through his bangs, only slightly touched with the beginnings of grey. "But what?"  
  
She had no opportunity to answer him. Just then, Heero entered the kitchen, searching for his wife. "Is dinner ready?" he asked her, coming up behind her slim body.   
  
"If you like uncooked chicken and raw potatoes," Relena replied, flippantly.   
  
"That's goooood eatin'," Duo quipped in a heartfelt attempt to throw off the heavier thoughts that plagued him.   
  
"Your wife is looking for you," Heero told his long-time friend. "You should go find her."   
  
Duo winked, downed the last of his wine and hopped off the barstool. "Just don't get too *busy* in here, Princess, and let our dinner burn."   
  
Relena retuned his wink with one of her own. "I'll be good, I promise," she echoed him.   
  
Heero watched his best friend exit the kitchen, his hands deep in the pockets of his black pants. "Is he okay?" he asked his wife.   
  
She sighed and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "I don't know, sweetie. I don't think so."   
  
Her husband frowned. "Will he*be* okay?"   
  
"Let's hope so." Relena turned around to look up at Heero. "Want to give me a hand with dinner?"   
  
"As long as I don't have to clip the ends off green beans."   
  
She gave him her most winning smile and reached for a strainer full of unclipped beans. "Sorry, love. It has to be done."   
  
Grumbling under his breath, Heero accepted the massive bowl and a pair of stainless steel kitchen shears. "I never would have agreed to have the kid if I knew I'd be cutting beans for him twenty-one years later."   
  
Relena paused in placing potatoes into the pot of boiling water on the stove. "That is your joking voice, right?"  
  
He clipped one bean. "Do you even have to ask?"  
  
She lifted one shoulder. "Sometimes you still surprise me, Yuy."   
  
Heero abandoned the beans and came up behind her again, this time sliding his arms around her apron-clad waist. "And you still get to me. Just as much now as the night he was born. You'll still get to me when he's having his own kids."  
  
Relena closed her eyes when he began kissing up and down the sensitive flesh of her throat. Heero had no idea how close that day had almost come, or that he had lost his first grandchild without ever knowing it had existed. Having everyone at the house was proving to only serve as a constant reminder of the secret she still kept from the man she loved. The guilt was too much; she gently pushed Heero away.   
  
"I have to check on the chicken," she apologized to him. He seemed to accept the explanation and returned to the beans with only a marginal amount of under-the-breath muttering.   
  
She reached into the oven and grasped the lid of the Tandoori dish. It wasn't until the heat and pain became unbearable that she even realized she had forgotten to put on a mitt.  
  
****  
  
Feeling quite unlike the birthday boy, Ben forced himself to take a shower upon his arrival the house. Afterwards, when he was dressed in fresh clothes and could no longer smell Amanda/Samantha/Miranda's expensive perfume on his skin, he found just enough courage left in his chest to seek out Amani.   
  
The first thing he noticed as he came down the grand staircase was the general feeling of disquiet that permeated the house. He frowned, his sixth sense in full swing. Something big was going on.   
  
He walked through the kitchen and blinked to see not his mother cooking dinner, but his Aunt Lu, Miss Hilde and Miss Sally. They didn't seem to notice him; they were engrossed in his mother's recipe book, debating the amount of garlic to be used on what he assumed were the green beans Duo was busy clipping.   
  
Frowning, Ben continued out of the kitchen though the sliding glass doors that opened onto the pool deck and patio. The gardens stretched out beyond the deck, the most logical place to search for Amani. As long as he could remember, he could always find Amani in the gardens, by one of the fountains. She seemed to crave the beauty of the plants and trees as well as the solitude of the high bushes that formed the twisted pathways and concealed those who wished to be lost for a few hours.   
  
And concealed she was; it took him just under ten minutes to find her at the center of the garden, sitting cross-legged by the reflection pond in front of which his parents had gotten married. It was unusual to find her here; usually she preferred the smaller fountains.   
  
The gravel crunching underneath his shoes gave him away immediately. Amani didn't turn her head, but addressed him after a moment. "Come and sit with me."   
  
Ben blinked. The last thing he had expected was an invitation. "Are you sure?"  
  
Amani drew her knees up to her chin, but didn't look back at him. "We should talk, don't you think?"   
  
"Um...yeah. Yeah, I do." He approached her with caution. "I'm just surprised you want to...talk to me."  
  
She waited until he plopped down next to her to speak again. "I told myself that I didn't. But it was a lie." There was a pause. "Are you worried about your mom?"  
  
Ben frowned. "Should I be?"  
  
"The burn on her hand was pretty bad," Amani told him.   
  
"She burned herself?!"  
  
Amani nodded. "On the chicken dish. Didn't you know?"   
  
He shook his head. "Is Mom all right?"  
  
"Your dad took her to the hospital, but I'm sure she will be. Your birthday dinner might be late though."  
  
Ben looked up at the sky. "She always wants to cook for our birthdays."  
  
"She loves you."  
  
He nodded. "Mom is the best. The way she handled everything with the..." His voice trailed off; he hadn't actually said the word "abortion" since it happened.   
  
"I will always be grateful to Miss Relena," Amani whispered. Ben's fingers closed around a large piece of gravel. He picked it up suddenly and threw it, sending it skipping down the reflection pond. "Ben," she began after the rock sank below the water. "We did the right thing, didn't we?"  
  
Another moment passed before he replied, "I ask myself that every day and do you know what?" A bitter chuckle escaped his lips. "I still have no fucking idea."  
  
****  
  
Thomas had even more trouble finding his youngest sister and he set out on his quest much earlier than Ben. Ironically, it was within all the commotion surrounding Relena's horribly burned hand that he actually found Eve.   
  
The parlor was where she had sought her solitude; Thomas spied her when Heero threw open the parlor doors in a frantic search for the keys to one of his cars. Smiling, he slipped through the doors and reached for his sister's long ponytail.   
  
"Hey you," he greeted her with a tug on her hair. "What are you doing in here all alone?"  
  
Eve turned her chin up and when she saw who it was, dropped her gaze back down to the window that overlooked the gardens. "What does it look like I'm doing, Thomas? I'm avoiding people."  
  
"Ah, well then, that begs the question..." He came around her chair and sat on the low table in front of her, blocking her view. "Why?"  
  
She gave her older brother a pointed look. "You got into med school, so I know you're not stupid."   
  
"Indulge me, little sister."  
  
Eve sighed and settled back into the cushions of her chair. "Why do I have to be cheerful and group-oriented all the goddamn time? Can't I ever just be alone?"  
  
"If you wanted to be alone, why didn't you just stay at home?"   
  
"I would have liked to, trust me." She sniffed. "But Adam always gets his way somehow."  
  
Thomas laughed. "I think he'd disagree with you on that." Reaching out, he touched the up-turned underside of Eve's chin. "Come on. Tell me what's going on with you."  
  
"There's nothing going on with me!" Her eyes sparked. "You sound just like Mom, Thomas."  
  
He watched her for a minute. "Since I'm in Mom-mode, what the hell is this outfit all about?"   
  
She looked down at her miniscule shorts and top. "You're the first guy to ever complain about it."  
  
Her brother's expression grew grim. "I can't believe Dad even let you out of the house dressed like this, much less off the colony."   
  
"Jesus! Can't you just leave me alone? Dad does; why can't you?" She shot up out of her chair. "I'm eighteen years old, Thomas. I can dress how I want to dress."  
  
"I'm all for your personal freedom, little sister." Thomas stood up. "But not when it gives other people the license to make judgements about you."  
  
"What does that mean?"   
  
Thomas folded his arms over his chest. "Don't you think this outfit says something about you to people who don't know better? Something along the lines of 'I'm easy' and 'come and get it boys, it's free'?"  
  
Eve bit her lip, longing for the pain to wash away his words. "Do you think I give a damn what anyone says about me behind my back?"  
  
"No. I don't think you do, Eve. And that's what scares me the most, I guess." He dropped his arms. "I can't control your life or the choices you make in it, but if you won't consider your personal reputation, can you at least think about our family's?"  
  
She snorted softly. "Oh please. This isn't some melodramatic old English novel. Your chances of getting an internship or Abby's shot at making partner aren't going to be affected by me wearing short shorts."  
  
"You're really trying very hard not to see my point, aren't you?"  
  
"Point?" Eve cocked her head to the side. "You mean you actually have one? Beyond berating my sense of fashion, that is."  
  
Thomas raked his hands through his hair. "I worry about you, Eve! Is that wrong of me?"   
  
Hot tears sprung up behind her eyes. "No. It's not."   
  
He reached for his sister again. "Eve..."  
  
She stepped well out of his reach. "It's just too late."  
  
Thomas let his hand fall back against his side. "Do you know what I realized the other day?" Eve looked down at the carpet, but waited for him to go on. "My very first memory is of the night you and Adam were born." He put his hands in his pockets. "I was six and I had a brand new missing tooth. I actually think I resented Mom having new babies. For awhile, I had been the baby again....after Grace died." He took a breath. "We had to go to the hospital, me, Ruth and Abby, because there wasn't anyone to look after us at home." Thomas paused. "It was a long time before Dad told us we had not just one baby, but two."   
  
Another long pause followed. "Those are all fuzzy memories. The first clear one I have....is of seeing you for the first time. We got to go into Mom's room. And she was holding this...this bundle of pink flannel. And Dad had a blue one. I remember climbing up next to Mom and she said, 'Thomas, this is your sister, Eve.'"   
  
Eve continued to stare at the Oriental carpet.   
  
Thomas continued, lost in the memory. "I was only six, but I made a deal with God. I told Him....I told Him that if he wouldn't take you away like he did Grace, I'd protect you much better than I did her." He stopped for a moment before crossing his arms again. "I haven't really been keeping up my end of the deal, have I?"  
  
His sister forced back a rising lump in her throat. "I don't need anyone's protection, Thomas. I've learned to do just fine without it."  
  
"Eve, you shouldn't have to..."  
  
She held up a hand. "Please. If this gets anymore sappy, I'm going to drown."  
  
Hurt, Thomas narrowed his eyes. "You sure do make it difficult, Eve." His voice softened. "You haven't always been like this, though. And you definitely haven't always dressed like this."  
  
"There was a long period of time when I actually gave a damn about what people thought," Eve replied. "And I would have worn a pinafore if thought it would make Dad notice me." She smiled, the grin she usually reserved for her sexual conquests. "It was when I graduated to leather and spandex and he still didn't notice that I stopped caring."  
  
"If you don't care, then why do you still wear it?"  
  
Eve approached her brother. "Spandex is comfortable..." She kissed his cheek, her lips lingering for a second longer than necessary. "And leather is just fun."  
  
She left him in the parlor, doubtless rolling her last statement over and over in his mind, and headed for the patio. Before Thomas had barged in on her, she had spotted Ben heading into the gardens. Nothing on earth would numb her more than a quick, hot fuck. And after her upsetting conversation with her brother, numb was exactly how Eve needed to be.  
  
The gardens were fragrant with spring. Anyone else would have reveled in the brilliant edge of sunset colors found in the myriad of flowers and trees. Eve ignored it all; her focus was entirely on finding Ben. With the distance she had sensed between him and Amani, she was more than certain he would be up for anything she suggested.   
  
Her path took her to the center of the gardens, the long reflection pond. Immediately, Eve could hear voices from the other side of the tall, thick hedge. Ben and Amani, she had no doubt it was them. Careful to make no noise, she crept closer and liberally listened in.   
  
"I can't ever stop thinking about it," Amani said, her voice dripping with tears. "Every time I see one....I think about ours....and what we did to it. Is that crazy, Ben?"  
  
His reply was soothing, although Eve could pick up on traces of uncertainty. "We did what was best for everyone, Amani, including the baby."  
  
Eve's lower jaw dropped. With a growing smirk, she kept listening.   
  
"I don't know," the other girl said, her words muffled by something. Ben's shoulder, Eve guessed. "I just know that no matter what I do, no matter how many times I rationalize everything...it all still comes back to one thing. We killed our baby; we never even gave it a chance! How can that be right, Ben? How?!"  
  
"Shh..." He would be rubbing her back now, calming her down. Eve rolled her eyes. "Please don't beat yourself up anymore, Amani. We made the choice we thought was best. That's all we could do. Your dad and my mom understood that or else they wouldn't have helped us. I mean, Amani..." He paused. "What kind of parents would we have made at this point in our lives, anyway?"   
  
Eve's smirk was full; her mind reeled. Perfect Amani...knocked up by Ben. Perfect Amani....aborted Ben's baby. Perfect Amani....keeping it all a secret. Eve didn't stick around for the rest of the conversation, the reconciliation she was sure was coming. Those two had it so bad for each other; not even something like this could keep them apart for long.   
  
She quietly left the garden, heading back for the main house. It was on the steps of the patio that she ran into her twin.   
  
"Have you seen Amani or Ben?" he asked her.   
  
Eve lifted her shoulders innocently. "No," she lied. "I haven't."  
  
He shook his head, amused. "I guess they're off somewhere making out."  
  
"I'm sure that's it." It took every bit of her willpower to keep from laughing. "Oh hey, Adam. Tell me your policy on abortion again?"   
  
Adam frowned. "It's wrong...barbaric." He lifted an eyebrow suspiciously. "Why?"   
  
"No reason," Eve assured him. "And people who would get an abortion are....?"  
  
"Irresponsible. I mean, with all the available birth control out there..." Adam stopped. "I am not liking the direction this conversation is going, Eve."  
  
She kissed his cheek as she had with her older brother not too much earlier. "Don't you worry about it."   
  
"Hey, Eve!" he called out to her before she disappeared into the house. "You know if you ever had a...um...a problem, you could always come to me. Right-wing views non-withstanding."   
  
"Like I said, don't worry about it." Eve grinned evilly. "I'd never be that stupid."  
  
****  
  
"So, I saw him last week outside the gym and he was standing with his friends and he just kind of looked over at me like he expected me to come over to him and start talking, but what the hell would I have said? I mean, he cheated on me." Celeste popped her gum and pulled a thread on her cousin's comforter. "I wouldn't forgive Andrew if he were the last person on Earth and if I ever find out who the bitch was who he..."  
  
There was a knock on the bedroom door, saving Victoria from her cousin's daily diatribe against her ex-boyfriend. Celeste's pain was justified, but after two weeks, Victoria had no patience left. "Hold that thought, Celeste." She called out towards the door, "Come in!"  
  
Thomas peeked his head into the room. "Can I talk to you, Miss Yuy?"   
  
Victoria visibly fidgeted. "Um....I don't know if that...that would be..."  
  
Rolling her eyes, Celeste climbed off the bed. "Oh, just talk to him, Tori. I'll scream when dinner's ready, although I wouldn't count on that for awhile." As she passed Thomas, she flashed him a brilliant smile. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do."  
  
Her cousin scowled. "And that's not much, is it?" But Celeste was already gone. Victoria sighed. "Come on in, Thomas."  
  
He did so, gently closing the door behind him. Without waiting for an invitation, he joined her on the bed. "So...here were are. Back in the bedroom."  
  
Victoria delicately scratched the tip of her nose. "Yeah. We are."  
  
A moment passed. "Would a kiss be too much to ask for?" Thomas wondered out loud.   
  
The corners of her mouth turned up without her consent. He was just too good-looking. Shaking her head, she leaned forward and pressed her lips to his for a brief second.  
  
However, Thomas had a much different kind of kiss in mind. Before she could pull back, he gently grasped the back of her neck, holding her lips to his. His tongue slid into her mouth, exploring the familiar warmth. Victoria wanted to relax into the kiss more than anything, but something compelled her to push him away.   
  
The memory of Amani, post-abortion, pale as death.   
  
"Please stop," Victoria panted. "I can't....I can't do this."  
  
Thomas' forehead wrinkled. "But...you were the one who wanted to..."  
  
"I don't anymore," she said, unable to stop the words from escaping her lips. "I'm sorry," she added to soften the blow.  
  
He nodded over and over again. "I see. Can I ask what changed, at least?"   
  
"I'm only eighteen," she blurted out. "And maybe you're right....I'm still just a baby. I'm not ready to deal with all the stuff that comes with sex." She pointed to the empty fish bowl on her dresser. "I've never kept a goldfish alive for more than two days. I couldn't have a baby, Thomas."  
  
"Hey...whoah." Thomas held up his hands. "First of all, you're not a baby. You're a very mature young woman....who I happen to be falling in love with." She blinked at this, but he kept going. "Second of all, having sex doesn't automatically mean you'll get pregnant, Victoria. I'm going to be a doctor someday; I'm fairly familiar with all types of birth..."  
  
She cut him off. "Those can fail. Easily." Sliding off the bed, Victoria willed her heart to stop racing when she noticed the bulge of his arousal in his jeans. "I'm sorry, Thomas. I'm not ready to be sexually extraneous anymore."  
  
Thomas kept nodding. "All right, then." Clearing his throat, he stood up, wincing ever so slightly.   
  
"Are you mad at me?"   
  
He stopped with his hand on the brass doorknob. "No. I'll wait for you, until you're ready." There was a pause. "Just promise me you'll think a *lot* about it." He looked back at her, chestnut locks flopping over his forehead. "I want you, Victoria. I want to make love to you and I want to make you cry out my name. I will wait. But baby...remember, something."  
  
"What?" she whispered.  
  
Thomas smiled tightly. "I'm only human."  
  
****  
  
"Come on, Zechs...put some muscle into it!" Noin propped her hands up on her shapely hips and stared down at her husband as he mashed the cooked potatoes. "You're getting weak in your old age..." she taunted him.   
  
He set down the bowl. "You're the same age as me, Lu. Fifty..."  
  
Her hands covered his mouth. "Forty-nine!!"  
  
Millardo removed her palms from his face. "Whatever you say."   
  
Smiling, Noin bent over and gave him a lingering kiss. The embrace was growing more intense when a girlish voice called out from the kitchen door, "Aunt Lu? Uncle Millardo?"  
  
Their heads turned to see their youngest niece, Anastasia. "Hey, sweetie. How was your nap?" Noin asked, releasing her husband.  
  
The girl scowled, faintly reminiscent of her father. "I'm almost ten. I'm way too old for a nap!"  
  
"Then how was your beauty sleep, mademoiselle?" Millardo asked his niece. Noin ran her fingers along the back of his neck; nothing reminded her of how much she loved him better than seeing how well he got along with children.   
  
Anastasia wandered over to the island and climbed up into her uncle's lap. "Fine," she sighed, dramatically dropping her head down to his shoulder. "When's dinner, Uncle Millardo?"   
  
"When your mom and dad get back from the hospital," he replied. "Want to help in the meantime?"  
  
"What can I do?"  
  
Noin reached into the double-wide fridge for the sour cream. "You can stir this into the potatoes, sweetie."  
  
Just when they were about to add the chives into the mix, Celeste entered the kitchen. "Mom, Dad..." She approached her parents and cousin. "The masses are getting restless. Mr. Duo is threatening to take the kitchen hostage if we don't eat soon."   
  
"If you're bored, Celeste, could you make sure that Hippy or Hoppy, or whatever her name is, set the table right and didn't forget Emily's high chair or all the knives or something?" Noin asked her daughter.   
  
"It's Poppy, Mom," Celeste said, referring to the new housekeeper. She dipped into the mashed potato bowl for a sample and was immediately reprimanded by a slap to her wrist from her ten year old cousin. Making a face at Anastasia, Celeste slunk out of the kitchen towards the dining hall.   
  
Jade was already in the long, silent room, placing something on each of the twenty-one plates set around the table. She looked up when Celeste entered. "I'll be out of here in a minute, I promise."  
  
"It's not a problem," Celeste assured the younger girl. "What are you doing, anyway?"  
  
"I made name cards for everyone." Sally's daughter set one down and moved to the next plate. "There's always a lot of fuss over where everyone is going to sit, so I asked Miss Relena this morning and she said I could do something about it."   
  
Celeste picked up one hand-made card. It bore Edward's name in calligraphy and was decorated with a Chinese character at the bottom right corner. "What does this say?" she asked.   
  
"They all have the character for harmony," Jade replied. "Except for Ben's which has the character for luck. Since it's his birthday and all." She blushed slightly.   
  
"He'll appreciate that," Celeste commented, setting the card down.   
  
Jade sighed with much longing. "I hope so."  
  
Celeste smiled softly. After a moment, Jade set down the final card. "I put you between Amani and Victoria. I hope that's all right."   
  
"It's fine." Celeste walked around the table, taking notes. It did not escape her notice that Jade had placed Amani and Ben as far away from each other as she possibly could...and had done the same with her brother and Adam. Jade's own name card sat directly next to the birthday boy. "You did a really good job, Jade. They're beautiful."  
  
The girl smiled. "Thanks. Well...I guess I'll go." She started out the door. "See you at dinner."  
  
"See you," Celeste echoed. After she was sure the girl was gone, she sprung into action. "Let's just switch me and Ben....Lin can sit next to Adam...." She stopped with Eve's name card in her hand. "And as for you...." Grinning, she placed Eve between Anastasia and the spot where little Emily's high chair had been placed. "This is going to be a dinner to remember."  
  
****  
  
Amani parted ways with Ben at the mouth of the gardens and headed for Victoria's room. It was empty, she was glad to see. Not that she wished to avoid her best friend, but after her encounter with Ben, she needed some alone time.   
  
*I still love you, Amani.*   
  
His words hung like a cloud over her brain. How had she answered him? With a little shake of her head, disbelief....they were hard words to accept. That he still loved her, that he still wanted her...  
  
But, oh it had felt good to hear them.   
  
Amani stepped out of her jeans and unbuttoned her blouse; a quick shower was warranted before dinner, to wash away the perspiration of being outdoors for so long, if not the longing Ben had produced in the center of her chest.   
  
She still loved him, too.  
  
The water was cool and clean. After scrubbing her hair with Victoria's jasmine scented shampoo, she rinsed off and stepped out of the bathroom, wrapped in a towel. She had just donned a pretty, flowered slip dress when there was a knock on the door. Securing the towel around her wet hair, Amani answered it.   
  
"Dad," she greeted Trowa.   
  
Trowa looked behind her, into the room, as though he expected her to have company. "Can I come in?"   
  
Amani stepped aside and closed the door behind her father. "What's going on, Dad?"   
  
He gave the room another once over before he turned his stare onto his daughter. "I saw you walking with him out of the garden."   
  
"Dad." She began rubbing her curls with the towel. "We were just talking. I promise."  
  
"The last time you talked with Ben Yuy, you ended up in an abortion clinic." Amani lowered her arms. Her bottom lip trembled. "Amani..." Trowa sighed. "I'm sorry."   
  
She sniffed softly. "I thought you had forgiven me, Dad."  
  
"I have. I mean....it's in the past." Trowa reached for his daughter. "But I won't stand by and let him hurt you again." There was a painful pause. "I don't want you talking to him, Amani."  
  
"Dad..."  
  
"I'm serious." He pulled her into an embrace, ignoring her wet hair against his shirt. "You're the most important thing in the world to me. I have to protect you, no matter how much you might hate me for it." Trowa drew back slightly. "I don't ever want to see him talking to you again."  
  
Amani felt a tear slip down her clean cheek. "Dad...I love him."  
  
"After everything he's done to you!?"  
  
"I'm not going to debate this with you, Dad!" she cried, pulling away from him. "I made a mistake...we, we made a mistake. And we paid for it, Dad. But..." Her tears flowed freely now. "We still love each other. Is that wrong?"  
  
Trowa cursed. "I don't even know what to say to you. Just..." He started for the door. "Don't let me see the two of you talking again. Got it?"  
  
"You're being completely..."  
  
"Got it?" He didn't wait for her reply before he left.  
  
Amani reached for the first thing she saw, a stuffed bear with a faded red ribbon on Victoria's bed, and threw it at the door with all her might.   
  
****  
  
Heero and Relena arrived back at the manor just as dinner was being placed on the table. There was much discussion over whether or not Relena should be present at the meal or go upstairs to rest, but the woman in question stepped in, waved her bandaged hand, and through a haze of pain medication told her friends and family, in no uncertain terms, that she wasn't about to miss her son's birthday dinner.   
  
Therefore, all twenty-one residents and guests of the manor, twenty-two including little Emily in her high chair, sat down to eat only three hours behind schedule. When Celeste took her place next to Jade, she felt a slight pang of guilt at the disappointment on the younger girl's face. But the feeling faded when she glanced across the table and saw Ben and Amani sitting side-by-side. And she was positively delighted to look even further down the table to see Eve smack in between the two youngest members of the dinner party.   
  
After everyone, except Anastasia and Emily, had a glass of champagne in their hand, Heero cleared his throat. "I don't like speeches," he began. "Happy Birthday, Ben."   
  
A chorus of echoed sentiments moved down the table. Glasses were sipped from and lowered back down. Only one remained untouched, the glass that sat in front of Abby, more than one person noted. But the thought was brushed aside as dinner was served.   
  
Ben took big helpings of everything; it was only to make his mother happy. In truth, he couldn't even fathom how he was going to swallow a single bite of his favorite foods. He held the bowl of mashed potatoes to Amani as she served herself a tiny spoonful. Their fingers touched when she took the bowl to pass it to Hilde and twin blushes spread on their faces.   
  
When the bustle of serving and passing had faded, the sounds of chewing and swallowing filled the room. Amani glanced down the table as she cut into her chicken. Mr. Heero was helping Miss Relena with her dinner; her right hand was all but useless, wrapped in a sea of gauze. She watched him feed his wife a green bean, but not in the way a nurse feeds an elderly patient. The entire act was sexy, performed with so much emotion. The long-standing love between Ben's parents.....it was what she wanted with Ben, she realized. She wanted to be Miss Relena in twenty years, still safe and secure with the man she adored.  
  
Across the table, Lin cleared his throat when Adam's leg came into contact with his. He was torn between thanking and cursing his sister's place settings. Still, he did not move his own leg away. The warmth from Adam's body touched him, even through the thick layers of denim. It was a warmth he missed. Adam's elbow brushed his as he reached for his water glass. Lin swallowed, mashed potatoes sticking in his throat. He couldn't shake his addiction. He still wanted Adam Maxwell.   
  
Thomas took a bite of chicken, ignoring the spice of curry on his tongue. He was quite used to hot foods; his father couldn't cook anything without chili peppers. And that included spaghetti sauce. Swallowing, he shot a small glance at the girl beside him. Victoria was picking at her food, breaking off tiny pieces of bread and placing them in her mouth one at a time. She had to be thinking the same thing as him....sex. Thomas frowned and wiped his mouth on a linen napkin. It wasn't that he thought about sex all the time. But more and more, she had been occupying his more....erotic dreams. He wanted to make those dreams come true; they almost had the day Amani decided to come to Earth. But now....it looked as though he might never get to do anything more than hold Victoria's hand. At least it was a nice hand to hold.   
  
Eve grimaced as Emily played with the green beans on her plastic high chair tray. On her other side, Anastasia was building a fort out of her mashed potatoes. With her parents occupied, the nine year old brat felt no need for manners; it annoyed Eve beyond belief. She glared down the table. The seating arrangement had Celeste written all over it. And the little smile she gave Eve helped to lay the finger of guilt upon her blond head. Eve's blood boiled under her tight, leather top and matching pants. But as usual, no one noticed.   
  
When dinner was through and the French silk pies brought out for cutting and serving, Edward cleared his throat and stood up, drawing all eyes to his tall, handsome figure. "Hey everyone, I have a little announcement." He looked down at his younger cousin. "Ben, I don't want to take away from your birthday, but what I have to say kind of falls in with the celebration."   
  
With everyone's stare still fixed on him, Edward reached for his wife's hand and gently pulled Abby up to her feet beside him. "The last time this happened we didn't get to announce it to everyone like this, so we're just ecstatic to be able to do it right this time." He took a breath.   
  
"We're having another baby!" Abigail squealed, her cheeks flushed with excitement and utter joy.   
  
Edward squeezed her hand. "Yeah, what she said."   
  
The table erupted into shouts of congratulations. It seemed as though everyone were on their feet, laughing, talking, joking, hugging the expectant couple. Tears streamed down Hilde and Noin's cheeks. In all the commotion, Ben glanced at Amani. She was looking down at her lap and for a frightful moment, Ben was sure she was crying, as well, only for quite different reasons. But then she lifted her head and gave him a pure smile. He relaxed; he should have known her better.   
  
"This calls for more champagne!" Duo announced.   
  
The other grandfather-to-be stood up. "I'll get it. Relena..." He looked at his sister.  
  
"Cellar," she told him. There was pain in her eyes, but she seemed determined to ignore her hand in the wake of the happy news. Millardo nodded and left the dining hall.   
  
Everyone was beginning to settle down, but the air still buzzed with happiness. Only Eve was immune; she poked at the piece of pie someone had set in front of her. What right did everyone have to be so damn joyous when she was... She shoved a forkful of chocolate into her mouth.   
  
Across the table from Edward and Abigail, Quatre took a sip of water, a smile on his face. "I suppose it's too early to ask whether it's a boy or a girl."  
  
"We can find out in a few weeks," Abigail replied. "Personally, I want a boy, but Edward..."  
  
"I'm bucking for twins," her husband interrupted...and quickly, he received a hard poke in his ribs. "What?" He gave his wife a loving grin. "You know I'll be crazy about whatever it is." Hilde sniffed and wiped under her eyes.   
  
"I think that's great." Twenty pairs of eyes swung to Eve. It was the first time most of them had heard her speak all day. She refused to squirm under the weighty stares. "I mean, Edward wants his baby, no matter what."  
  
A beat passed. Abigail blinked. "Thank you, Eve." She smiled at her youngest sister.   
  
Eve scooped up another bite of pie. "It's just too bad all guys can't be like that. Isn't it, Amani?"  
  
Amani froze with her own water glass halfway to her lips. "I...I don't understand what you..." Her eyes darted to Ben and then back.   
  
Trowa cleared his throat. "We never got any pie over on this side," he informed Heero.   
  
"Oh, I'm sure you do understand." Eve was not willing to be brushed aside anymore by anyone. "Don't tell me you don't wish you could be in Abby's shoes right now."  
  
Ben's fingers tightened around his dessert fork. "Eve, whatever you're doing, quit it," he hissed between clenched teeth.   
  
"Eve, dear...." Relena licked her lips. "I left my pain pills on the foyer table. Could you possibly run get them for me?"   
  
Duo's daughter glanced at her, a blank look of innocence in her violet eyes. "I'm sorry, Miss Relena. I just can't." Her attention swung back to Amani. "Well...don't you, Amani?"   
  
Hilde frowned. "Eve, Miss Relena asked you to do something for her..." She went ignored by her daughter.   
  
Amani's heart thumped wildly in her chest. It was very obvious; Eve knew everything. The question of how she knew was irrelevant at the moment. The pressing problem was keeping her from telling the two people who should never have to find out like this. Her father and Ben's.   
  
"Eve," she quietly began. "If you want to talk to me, maybe we could go outside on the patio?"  
  
"Mmm....no." Eve smiled at her sweetly. "I think we should talk right here. Everyone's always so group oriented....I'm sure there's nothing we can't discuss amongst friends."  
  
Victoria's eyes narrowed. "I think Amani is right, Eve. I think you should..."  
  
Eve cut her off. "Oh, come on. It's not like it wasn't all going to come out in the open eventually. I mean honestly, Amani...how long did you think you could keep it a secret?"   
  
Quatre glanced down at his daughter. "Keep what a secret, Amani?"   
  
Tension, thick though invisible suspended the diners in those next few moments. Amani's eyes met Eve's, silently pleading with her. But Eve was too far gone. Duo was staring at her; she had his complete and unwavering attention. She took a breath and continued. "That she and Ben aborted their baby, of course."  
  
The silence that followed was unbearable. Amani lowered her head, fighting back hot tears of shame. She could feel every stare turning from Eve to her. Under the table, Ben felt for her hand. His fingers weren't any warmer than hers, she noted.   
  
"Mama..." Emily broke the long moment of shock. "Pie...pie, mama..." She curled her little fingers around Abigail's sleeve and tugged.   
  
"Amani." Relena stood up on shaky legs. "Let's you and I retire to the parlor. All right, sweet..."  
  
She was cut off by Quatre's light laughter. "Duo..." He shook his head. "Your daughter has a terrible sense of humor, you know that?" The blond man glanced around at his friends, taking in their grim expressions. "Doesn't she?"   
  
Trowa swallowed and put a hand on his lover's arm. "Little one..."  
  
Quatre ignored it. "It's insane to even think that our daughter would..." He looked up at Trowa. "Isn't it?" His gaze turned down the table. "Amani?"  
  
Another moment of silence passed before Amani lifted her head. "I'm sorry, Daddy," she whispered. "I'm so sorry..."  
  
"Amani?" he asked again. The realization had yet to completely sink in.   
  
Heero looked down the table, a deadly gleam in his eye. "Ben," he addressed his son. "Is this all true?"  
  
Ben cleared his throat and glanced around the table. There was sympathy on his sister's face, shock from his cousins and friends...and a smug expression on Eve's face that sent a hot spike of anger down his spine. "It shouldn't have come out like this..." He stopped and rubbed his eyes with his free hand.   
  
"No...no!" Quatre stood up. "This is...this is nothing! It's just some childish little...prank." He gestured to Eve. "My daughter...." His eyes were wet when he looked back at Amani. "She'd never keep something like this from her father and I!"   
  
Trowa tried his best to gently pull Quatre down into his seat. "Little one, please...calm down."  
  
"It's insane!" Quatre repeated, but he sat down. "They're just kids....they couldn't have dealt with something like this by themselves!"  
  
"Oh, they didn't." Eve smiled. "Miss Relena and Mr. Trowa helped."  
  
Ben brought his fist down on the table. "Just what the fuck are you doing, Eve?!"  
  
"Allah..." Quatre breathed. Eyes wide, he turned his head to see his partner. "Please tell me she's lying..."  
  
Hilde shot to her feet. "Eve!" Her voice cut like scissors. "It's time for you to leave the table."  
  
"But Mom, I'm only telling the truth," she replied, smoothly.   
  
"Eve..." Adam's voice throbbed under the strain of self-control. "Let's go. Now."  
  
She gave him a cool stare. "I don't want to, Adam."  
  
Relena had been avoiding Heero's stare ever since Eve let the bomb drop. Finally, her husband spoke. "You knew about this, Relena?" She nodded miserably. Heero blinked. "Was this the weekend...."  
  
Quatre clapped a hand to his mouth. "The weekend you ran to Earth...."   
  
"I'm sorry," Amani repeated, ignoring her tears. "I'm sorry, Daddy."  
  
Sally quietly cleared her throat. "Well...Jade and I are going to excuse ourselves now." She reached for her daughter's hand and yanked her up out of her seat. "Lin, you too."  
  
Lin looked at Adam. "Come on...come with us."   
  
Noin stood up as well. "Celeste, let's go find your..."  
  
Just then, Millardo re-entered, carrying two bottles of champagne. He stopped when the intensity of the dinner table atmosphere hit him. "What did I miss?"  
  
Eve smiled at the older man. "We were just discussing Amani and Ben and how Mr. Trowa and Miss Relena helped them abort their unwanted baby." One of the bottles in Millardo's arms slipped to the ground, but fortunately didn't break.   
  
Duo jumped out of his chair, slapped his napkin against the table and strode over to his youngest daughter. "That's it!" His normally jovial eyes sparked dangerously. He grabbed Eve's arm, hauling her up. "You've done enough damage for one meal, Eve Zipporah."  
  
She bit her lip; his grip was strong and angry. "You mean you can actually remember both my names, Daddy? I'm impressed."  
  
"Eve..." Her mother's smooth forehead was wrinkled. "What on earth is wrong with you tonight?!"  
  
Thomas stood up. "Abby...help me get our sister out of everyone's way."  
  
She turned a cold look in Eve's direction; unless one really looked carefully, they couldn't tell that the stare was actually directed at her father. "Come on, Eve. Come with me and Thomas."  
  
Adam watched his older siblings lead Eve out of the dining room. In the flutter that followed with Sally's family, Millardo's family with Edward carrying little Emily, and his parents leaving as well, he escaped the room, in pursuit of his twin.   
  
"I can't believe it," Quatre was saying to the empty dessert plate in front of him. "I can't believe it." Trowa reached for his lover. "No!" Quatre jumped away from his touch. "You knew, didn't you? You knew that our daughter...that she....and you kept it from me?! How could you keep it from me??!"  
  
Relena's hand throbbed, but her tears weren't ones of physical pain. The betrayal in Heero's eyes....it shot her straight through the heart every time she dared to glance at him. "We thought it was for the best....the best thing for everyone if we simply let the event...pass. There wasn't anything to be done about it....knowing would have...well, it has now...just hurt you both."  
  
Quatre ignored her. "And you, Amani....how could you let yourself..." He ran his hands through his hair. "I raised you better than this. I know I did. If I taught you nothing else, I taught you self-respect. And self-respect does not come from sleeping with the first person who comes along! Especially when he's already slept with everyone to *ever* come along!"  
  
"Hey." Heero scowled. "This is still my son you're talking about."  
  
"Your son..." The blond man stood up. "This shouldn't be news to you, Heero. In fact, I'd be surprised if this is the first time he's gotten some girl into trouble and forced her to pick up the pieces. Only this time, it was *my* girl. My little girl..." He trailed off, momentum gone.  
  
Ben tightened his fingers around Amani's. "I have done things I'm ashamed about, yes. But I never, ever meant to hurt Amani. I swear to god. I love her too much."  
  
"Please, Daddy." Amani lifted her head and met her father's eyes. "We have to live with this for the rest of our lives...what we did to our baby. Isn't that punishment enough?"   
  
Quatre gripped the edge of the table until his knuckles turned white. "You're not the person I thought you were, Amani. I don't know...maybe I never knew who you were." Again, he brushed off Trowa's hand. "I didn't really know either of you."  
  
Amani dissolved into tears when Quatre left the room. Victoria threw her arms around her best friend; Amani had barely even noticed she was still sitting there. "I'm sorry, Dad..." she cried. "Mr. Heero...Miss Relena...."  
  
Heero stood up and started to follow Quatre's path out of the dining hall. Relena shot to her feet. "Heero!" she called out. "Heero, don't go!"  
  
He didn't turn around. "You promised me, Relena. You promised me that you would never keep secrets."  
  
"Heero....please. Stay and talk."  
  
"I have nothing more to say to you right now, Relena."   
  
As he walked away, Relena tucked her injured hand against her chest and frantically blinked back her tears. "Should I go after him?" she asked Trowa.  
  
"Not yet," he replied. "Give them both time." His gaze returned to his daughter, being comforted from both sides by Ben and Victoria. "Amani..." He stopped before he could order her upstairs. Ben was holding her hand, rubbing the back of it with his thumb, murmuring soothing words into her hair.   
  
In that moment, it all made sense to Trowa. And he couldn't stand the idea of ripping them apart so soon after their entire world had fallen apart. Instead of speaking, he stood up and reached for Relena's good hand. "Come on. Let's go find a quiet place to talk."   
  
The two parents left their children in Victoria's hands. Over the top of Amani's head, Ben caught his sister's eye. "I'm going to kill Eve for this." The statement was in no way a joke.   
  
Victoria stroked her friend's blond curls. "Stand in line, Benji."  
  
****  
  
"Let go of me!" Eve shook off her older siblings. "How dare you drag me out of there like I was four years old again!"  
  
Thomas folded his arms. "Maybe it's because you were acting like a four year old, Eve. Hell, Anastasia displayed more maturity than you did tonight!"  
  
"I wouldn't expect either of you to understand..."  
  
Abigail cut her sister off. "Of course we understand, Eve! How could we not? We grew up with Dad. We know better than anyone what it's like to be willing to do just about anything to get a moment of recognition."  
  
"But," Thomas continued. "What you did tonight was not the right way. It was cruel and immature. And you know it."  
  
Eve smoothed a wrinkle out of her leather pants, careful not to meet their eyes, lest she let her pent-up tears go. "Nothing I said back there was a lie," she spat, once she had recovered. "I held some people accountable for their actions in a very public way and apparently, they didn't like it. That's not my fault."  
  
"Yes, it is." The voice came from around the corner of the hallway. A second later, Adam appeared, his handsome face solemn and cold. "Abby, Thomas...can you give me a second with my twin?"  
  
The older siblings exchanged a look. "Just a few minutes," Abigail said, speaking as the oldest. "Then I want to see you both in the kitchen. That's where we'll be." She took a breath. "Talking to Dad." Thomas raised an eyebrow at her. "I'm sick of this shit, Tommy. It's time to work it all out with him."  
  
Thomas said nothing, but followed his sister on her path to find their father, leaving the twins alone. A long moment passed as each one sized up the other. Finally, Adam spoke. "Why do you hate her so much?"  
  
Eve clenched her fists. "And just who would 'her' be, brother dear?"  
  
"Quit it, Eve. It doesn't work on me." Adam unfolded his arms. "You attacked her in there for absolutely no reason!"  
  
"Maybe you don't think I had any valid reason," Eve hissed. "But I promise you, my attack, if you can even call it that, was *not* directed specifically at Little Miss Perfect."  
  
"Then who, Eve? Who?"  
  
She faltered for a moment, but as usual, regained her cool just in time. "I find it amusing that you seem hell-bent on defending the star-crossed lovers. What were you just saying this afternoon about people who would slaughter a fetus, Adam?"  
  
"That's not fair." His eyes narrowed. "You know I would never think that of Ben and..."  
  
"Of course you wouldn't. No one can ever think *anything* bad about her. We were all put on this planet just to defend and coddle and pet and fawn over and protect sweet, innocent, naive Amani Barton."  
  
The rage and jealousy in his sister's eyes shocked Adam. He stared at her, slowing shaking his head. "I had no idea you hated her so much. I had no idea you were *capable* of hating this much."  
  
"You don't know me half as well as you think you do, Adam."  
  
"I'm learning that." He looked down at the floor for a second, gathering his thoughts. "What you did tonight...was disgusting. You humiliated Ben and Amani....Trowa and Miss Relena....not to mention our own parents..." Eve snorted at this. "Just tell me why, Eve. Please...I just need to hear you say it."  
  
"I don't owe you any explanations," she replied, her voice haughty. "I'm not ashamed of what happened tonight. And if anyone was embarrassed by the truth, it's their own damn fault. I make no apologies now or ever."  
  
Adam wanted to recoil from his twin. She was like a can of soda that had been shaken one too many times and was posed, ready to explode. The lack of remorse, the smugness....it was all too much for him for him to take. His own anger rose inside of him. "You know something, Eve?"  
  
"Yeah, yeah. I'm a bitch. I've heard it before." She waved her hand, dismissively.  
  
He smiled, a horrible twisted expression. "Yes. But that's not what I was going to say." Taking a step towards his twin, he reached out to touch her chin. "I wish we hadn't been born together."  
  
Eve blinked. "What?"  
  
His fingers curled up, as though the very act of touching her had dirtied them. "You heard me." His voice was deadly calm, but strangled with repulsion. "I am ashamed to call you my twin, Eve."  
  
"Adam..." Her throat closed up; white hot pain shot through her body.   
  
Adam backed away. Shaking his head, he rounded the corner, running from her. He was long gone before she collapsed to the hard wood floor.   
  
Before he reached the grand staircase, he hit something solid and warm, but was too far gone to recognize who it was. "Adam?" the person asked. "Adam...what's wrong? Are you all right?"  
  
Through a haze of hot tears, he looked up...and into the dark, concerned eyes of Lin. "Lin?" His tears flowed freely; he gave no thought to keeping up appearances. Lin's body was warm against his and all he wanted was to lose himself in the boy he loved. "Lin, please...I know you don't want to, but please...can you just hold me?"   
  
Strong, but smooth hands cupped his face. Lin gaze darted back and forth between his ex-boyfriend's watery eyes. "I've always wanted to hold you, Adam. It's never been a matter of want."  
  
"Right now, I don't care what anyone, especially my father, thinks." Adam closed his eyes. "I want....I need to be with you, Lin."   
  
It was a moment before he recognized the feeling of Lin's lips on his own. The memory of his sister's face....her hatred, her self-satisfaction, and the haunting look of pure pain he had left her with...it all faded from his mind with Lin's loving kisses.   
  
Adam wasn't quite sure how they ended up in the study, with the door carefully locked, but with each piece of clothing that was tossed aside and with each new pleasure explored, he thought less and less about the world outside the heated circle of Lin's arms. For all he cared, everyone else could just disappear.  
  
****  
  
"I just don't understand...." Duo paced across the kitchen floor, all ten fingers plunged into his hair. "How could she act like that?! Didn't we raise her better, babe?" He stopped and looked at his wife. "Babe?"  
  
Hilde forced herself to meet his gaze. He truly was confused; he couldn't see it at all. But as always, Hilde lacked the heart to tell him. How could she tell him that his children resented him?   
  
That they thought he didn't love them?  
  
"We raised them as best we could, Duo," she replied, carefully. "But they're all old enough to take responsibility for their own actions now."  
  
He sighed. "Did you see the look in her eyes, babe? She was enjoying it. I never thought I'd see that kind of look in one of my children."  
  
"I saw," Hilde whispered. "It frightened me."   
  
Duo stopped pacing and reached for his wife. He pulled her against his chest. "It'll be okay, Hilde-baby. We'll find her and we'll talk some sense into her. It'll all be okay."  
  
Hilde closed her eyes and tried to take comfort in the very familiar, always wonderful feeling of her husband's arms around her slender frame. Even if he was slightly dense when it came to things sitting right in front of him for years, Duo was still the love of her life. He had given her six beautiful children...five of whom had grown to be...  
  
"Mom. Dad."  
  
The voice of her son broke through her thoughts. She lifted her head from Duo's chest and turned to the kitchen door. "Thomas?"   
  
Their oldest child, Abigail, appeared beside her brother. "Can we talk?" She spoke through straight, white teeth. There was something in her daughter's voice that set off warning bells inside Hilde. It wasn't as civilized talk that Abigail had in mind.   
  
Duo frowned. "Where's your sister?"  
  
"Which one, Dad?" Abigail crossed her arms over the place where Edward's child grew within her. "Ruth? She's in Madrid now, remember? I think she sent you a postcard awhile back. Eve? She and Adam are having it out." There was a pause. "Or maybe it's Grace you're still looking for, Daddy."  
  
"Abby." Duo's voice was sharp.   
  
Abigail took a step forward. "Are we not even allowed to speak her name anymore? That's funny since she such a constant presence in our lives. The thing we're always being held up against....and we can't even whisper her revered name."  
  
Thomas bit his lip, his passive-aggressive nature screaming to end the confrontation before it got out of control. "Abby, let's just say what we came to say and nothing more."  
  
"I said I wanted to get it all out," she turned on her brother. "If you don't want to be a part of that, go."  
  
"Get it all out, yes. But she was our sister. She deserves a little more respect in death than..."  
  
Abigail's eyes narrowed. "She's been getting more respect in death than all of us have in life combined, Tommy!"  
  
"Just what the hell does that mean?" their father demanded. "And where is all of this coming from?!"  
  
Even Thomas blinked at this. "You really don't get it, Dad?" He shook his head. "It's always been here. Growing every year, making things worse. We always thought you'd see it eventually. But....I guess not."  
  
Duo looked at his wife. "Hilde?"  
  
Hilde cleared her throat. "I can't help you with this one, Duo. You're going to have to figure it out on your own. I'm sorry, love."  
  
"But Hilde..."   
  
She cut off his protest by walking over to Abigail and Thomas and taking their hands. "These are your children, Duo. They are alive and healthy and wonderful. And they deserve to be listened to." She let go of her son and daughter, but not before planting a kiss on each of their hands. "I'll be here, but in the background. This is between you and them now."  
  
"We're not the only ones who should be here," Abigail started after her mother had moved to a corner of the room. "Ruthie...Adam....Eve. They deserve to be here, too. But for right now, it's just us. Daddy..." She stepped towards her father. "Why can't you see it?!"  
  
"See what?!" Duo swallowed. The problem wasn't seeing, he thought to himself. He knew...everything they were upset about....he had recognized a long time ago. The problem was fixing. How could he fix so much damage to his family, damage he had inflicted? He had thought his days of destroying things were over when he pressed the button to blow up his beloved Gundam. He never thought he was capable of tearing something apart with his own blindness and not with a laser scythe.   
  
Thomas looked down at his hands. "Did you see what Eve was wearing at the table tonight? Did you notice that Ruth wasn't at Christmas this year? Or last year? Or the year before that? Do you see how much Adam loves Lin? Have you seen the endless string of girlfriends I've had since I was fifteen? Did you ever wonder why it took so long for Abby to let Edward into her life?"   
  
"I accept the fact that I'm not a perfect father." Duo took a breath. "But if you think I don't see these things, you give me far less credit than I deserve."  
  
"So, you see them, Daddy." Abigail's eyes flooded. "But do you know how much influence you've had over each and every one of them??"  
  
Duo looked away, unable to bear the tide of emotion in his oldest child. It threatened to overtake him. "You're all strong. And willful. And I told myself a long time ago that I wouldn't be one of those fathers who interferes too much with his children's..."  
  
"But it's okay to interfere a little, Daddy!" Her voice raised. "It means that you give a damn! I'm not saying you should go ballistic when Eve dates a guy, but if she comes home at dawn wearing a man's shirt, you should take notice!"  
  
"Eve..." His face scrunched up. "My baby..."  
  
Abigail wiped under her eyes. "Did you ever tell her that? Did you ever stop to make her feel special like that? She is the baby....she would have been even if Grace had lived, Daddy."   
  
Duo opened his eyes. "Where is she?"   
  
"Daddy..." Swallowing back her own feelings and her need to get them out, Abigail pointed to the hall where they had left Adam and Eve. "Hurry, Daddy," she whispered.   
  
He was about to run past her and Thomas when he stopped and turned around to both of them. He and Thomas were the same height, but Abigail stood a good three inches shorter. He had to lower his gaze to look into his daughter's eyes. "I love you both."  
  
Abigail's shoulder shook. Beside her, Thomas had to look up at the ceiling to blink away his tears. "We love you, too, Daddy," she managed to reply for both of them.   
  
After Duo was gone, Hilde approached her children, her own cheeks wet. Without saying a word, she wrapped her arms around them as best she could, rocking them as though they were nine and six again. "It was too late in coming," she said, pressing a kiss onto her daughter's forehead. "But you never have to wonder again."   
  
Thomas closed his eyes and hugged his mother. They might know now....but there were three other Maxwell children who had no idea.  
  
****  
  
After Adam left, Eve could not bring herself to move for a long time. Her forehead rested against the fringe of the hallway carpet; her arms grasped her stomach as if to hold her body together. But nothing erased the intense pain of his words.  
  
*I am ashamed to call you my twin.*  
  
Ashamed. Adam was ashamed of her. She could bear anyone's hatred, but not his. Not her twin, at one time, the closest person to her in the world. To have him be ashamed of her...she might as well be dead.   
  
Voices around the corner of the hall brought her back to reality. It sounded like...Celeste and Jade. Eve quietly got to her feet and looked around. The hall bathroom looked to be her only escape route. She stepped inside and closed the door only moments before the voices passed through the hall.   
  
"...so horrible. I don't see how anyone could ever forgive her."  
  
Celeste's voice replied back with more glee than necessary, "Me neither. She's just proven to everyone what a cold-hearted bitch she is. I can't believe Aunt Relena hasn't told her to get out of the house. I would if I had any say in it."  
  
As they moved further down the hall, Jade's reply faded. "She hurt Amani so much. And Ben...he looked like he wanted to..."  
  
Eve closed her eyes when she could hear no more. There was no one left...no one who didn't hate her. Her family, her one-time friends....her twin. She was all alone in the world. And there was no one to blame but herself. She barely noticed herself turning the lock on the bathroom door.   
  
The mirror hanging over the sink mocked her as she moved to stare into it. A person she didn't recognize looked back at her. Heavily made-up face streaked with tears. Thick, chestnut hair tumbling down past her breasts. A leather vest with the top two buttons undone. There was a girl in the mirror who had lost her virginity to one of the summer employees at her father's metal shop in the back of his truck when she was thirteen. Who had shared five members of her high school's football team with a friend sophomore year.   
  
A slut. The girl in the mirror was a slut.   
  
Before she knew what she was doing, her fist shot out, punching her reflection.   
  
****  
  
The sound of glass breaking caught Duo's attention. A cold trickle of sweat ran down his spine. "Eve?" He emerged into the hallway, only to find it empty. He turned around, his worry and fright growing. "Eve!"   
  
There was the slightest sound of movement from....the hall bathroom. Duo ran for the door, only to find it locked. "Eve!" He twisted the knob fruitlessly. "Eve...if you're in there, open up! Eve!"  
  
****  
  
Faintly, she could hear a voice outside the door, calling to her. But she pushed it aside. It was too late for voices, too late to stop herself. Too late to let anyone inside. Too many people had been inside her. She had let too many of them into her body for a few minutes at a time, filling her up and leaving her empty.   
  
Some had been good. Ben had brought her so much pleasure....it had almost been enough to convince her that she was in love with him and that he returned the emotion. But he didn't. He never had. Amani had always been in Ben's heart.   
  
Others...had been bad. Her first lover, twenty years older than her, frantic to get the job done, lest someone discovered him screwing a thirteen year old. He had made her bleed, but taught her a valuable lesson. When men are horny, you're the center of their universe.   
  
The floor around her was littered with pieces of broken mirror. Eve sat on the edge of the tub, her body numb as she remembered all of the men. Even if she couldn't picture their faces, she could recall each and every one. Her hand reached down, fishing for a large piece of the mirror.   
  
There had been one lover, her own age for once, who had given her almost as much pleasure as Ben. Had his name been Jason or Jarred? She supposed it didn't matter. His face didn't stand out so much as his music. Jason/Jarred had had a thing for Bob Dylan. After they were finished, he would roll over in bed and turn on his stereo. The staccato voice of the ancient revolutionary singer would fill the room and Eve would lie in the crook of Jason/Jarred's arm, sharing a cigarette and the thought-provoking lyrics.   
  
"...everybody knows, that baby's got new clothes..." Eve's voice was slightly off-key; she stared at the glass in her hands. "...but lately I see her ribbons and her bows....have fallen from her curls..."  
  
Her eyes closed. "...she takes just like a woman...she aches just like a woman..." Eve pressed the jagged edge of the mirror to the soft flesh of her wrist.  
  
"Eve!!" The voice in the hallway called out her name. The door shook as something blunt slammed up against it. The person's body, she would have guessed if she were in any mindframe to do so. "EVE!!!"  
  
The glass broke her skin. "....she makes love just like a woman..." Eve drew the razor-sharp piece down towards her elbow, ignoring the blood that flowed freely to the tiled floor. She turned to the other wrist.   
  
"...but she breaks just like a little girl..."   
  
****  
  
On his final lunge, the door frame buckled and gave. Wood splintered around the lock and it flew open, crashing into the wall behind it. Duo fell into the bathroom.   
  
The first thing he noticed was the glass on the floor. The second thing he noticed was the puddle of dark blood creeping towards him. The tangy scent of copper tickled his nose. He didn't want to look any further, but his eyes acted on their own, slowly tracing the blood to its source.   
  
Duo's knees gave out. He grabbed the sink to keep himself up. On the floor of the bathroom, his youngest daughter lay in a pool of the blood that poured from two gashes in her wrists. "Eve..." His voice wouldn't work. Her name came out in a croaked whisper.   
  
He let himself drop to the floor. His arms scooped up his daughter. Her blood was warm through his shirt. "Help!!!" Duo screamed to alert the rest of the household. "Help us!!!!"  
  
"Daddy..." Eve opened her eyes and looked up at him. A streak of blood colored her cheek.   
  
"Eve, baby..." His tears fell, blotting the swipe of blood. "What have I done to you?"  
  
Her eyes closed again. "I'm breaking, Daddy. Don't let me...break..."  
  
****  
  
To Be Continued 


End file.
